Jalsa, Mumbai May 25, 2013 Sat 11 : 50 pm
Waiting waiting waiting … waiting for the UEFA Championship Football final to start … and its still a few moments … so before I get involved .. a quick connect ..
Abhishek has been invited to the game in London and its been wonderful to see him on the tele being interviewed on the pitch .. such moments in life one cherishes a lifetime ..
The Wembley Stadium, prestigious and important and a milestone venue became our destination when I had started concert shows way back in 1981-83 . Getting Wembley was difficult, but the promoters managed, and a almost 70,000 audience came over … what a moment and what a concert it was … the biggest ever.
Sridevi, Aamir and Salman and Neelam I had invited to the show to perform. It was their first appearance ever .. what fun ! They were not the superstars they are today, apprehensive and anxious what would happen. But they did well in a one item appearance … how time flies ..
Need to spend a lot more time in describing that day and lead up to it someday … BUT … the drama on screen now has begun as the pre game event starts ..
See you guys .. later .. love you
Jalsa, Mumbai May 24/25, 2013 Fri/Sat 2 :45 AM
I have nothing to say, nothing to do and nothing whatsoever to think about … the state of a mind that is crowded with multiple ideas and no where to put them .. or if there is a place where it could be put, then not be able see them …
I see opportunity. I see desire. I see the wish to get somewhere. I see all this but in my mind. What I do not see is the way to employ it, or a method by which a system could take it all over and deploy it for me …
Many have come by with suggestions of how it could be done as far as I am concerned, or as far as what could be of concern for me … but even though there is great sincerity in their effort and will, I remain unmoved and a tad pessimistic .. pessimistic may be too personalised a word, or perhaps too harsh, knowing my circumstances, so let me find another word …
Errmmm … not coming .. so shall search for it in time ..
What an opening to the Blog .. got everyone all worked up at what it was that could be done to extricate me from this situation ..
No there is no need to worry or grieve or trouble all your delicate minds. Just sharing some of what I at times wish to think aloud. That is all.
I am self contained. I work better when the state is such. The attention span covers a lot more than when in assistance. Perhaps it comes from never being in a situation before … a time when all was handled and done singularly … perhaps …
Many find themselves in similar situations … many of us cannot. Envy then when we lack the acumen to be able to do that, which perhaps comes naturally to those that do differently. I hear talk of ‘team’ and ‘management’ and the accompaniment of several who go along looking, thinking, assessing, the good for their ‘client’ .. these are terms which are alien to me and terms which perhaps would never function as well as they do with others, than they would with me …
There are two schools of thought here ..
Either you deploy a team to market you, to find opportunity, to get things done for you … or you make yourself into a state where others market to get at you .. both are acceptable … its just a matter of temperament … I possess neither, which is why I write about it .. I may tomorrow .. which is when I shall not write about it …
Writing though, has been an activity which some of the earlier lot of those that had access or capacity to write, wrote. That was and still is a domain, which they excel in .. and why not .. after all they are the professionals of that vocation. But because of the facilities and mediums at our doorstep, or shall we say in our virtual hands, there is hidden somewhere a prospective writer, photographer and a documenter ..
The domain or the impenetrable walls of this fortress - the fortress of visibility and information has been breached, and there are most positive indications of further breaks and fissures in those walls. With time it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep away from this invasion … an invasion which to us seems extremely intrusive, and which to the fresh generation, a part of their everyday life ..
Better then to accept, than to resist. Our resistance is a minority now. We may be heard in our complaint, but not much else can be expected after .. it has been the way of the world with minority for centuries, and unlikely to change …
Change requires immense will … will to adjust, to understand, to look at the other point of view, perhaps to get up from a position of regulated comfort and to walk across to the fence to peep into the ‘greener’ grass of the neighbour.
It may require quantum leaps … but the way of the world has only prospered for those that have continuously made effort to do so …
We today are a ‘third world’ and a ‘developing’ nation … and as a citizen I hurt when we are referred to in such manner. But history has not been on our side. It is now, and for the time we have taken to play catch up, is the time that most others have or shall take several lifetimes.
There have been examples of many other that have been in similar, but have laboured and striven to excel .. we must too … and we shall ..
I say all this not in the context of extreme patriotic fervour .. it is a rather obscure example of what we started off with at the start of this missive …
The elder shall necessarily have to step back .. the young shall necessarily have to take command .. giving in is not defeatist, it is wisdom in such matters …
Perhaps I shall be able to elaborate another time ..
Good night my dearest ones .. tomorrow we shall rise to fight again and excel and conquer, to set example and finally to flourish ..
Jalsa, Mumbai May 23/24, 2013 Thu/Fri 4 :09 am
Dear dear me … it is past 4 am … I must rest .. or else I shall … you know what .. I am beginning to hallucinate a bit .. any way , just had to do the Blog and the Twitter and the FB .. will leave you with some rather odd pictures .. not entirely of my liking, but shall wait for comment .. love you all ..
ha ha ha ha ah … historic picture !! was about to lose my pants .. they were a bit loose .. lost more weight methinks … need to get trimmer .. really !!
Do not worry about the green … that shall be filled up with all kinds of graphics .. the age of modern technology … they can remove me and put an animal there and no one would know the difference ..the stool to shall go .. as shall most of the creases on clothes and … the face … photo shop does its bit, but on film they have the capacity to do much more and greatly more efficiently …
Off to bed .. more tomorrow ..
Jalsa, Mumbai May 22/23, 2013 Wed/Thu 3 :07 am
A strange feeling as I type in my location above. It seemed almost as though I had lost the address, that it was fresh and new and almost mysterious …
But there it is, glimmering in its faithful glory and continuity, a steady reminder that the world changeth for a while, but cometh back too … does it ??
There is always the joy and comfort of being home, irrespective of all the glory and glamour that other more renowned and important locations one may have patronised, before. And it is a wonder that even though the period of absence may have been long and arduous, the functions of the ‘home’ are always well engraved in our minds - the light switches, the doors tables, furniture, dressing regions and where to find what needs to be found ..
And of course the inmates ..
Abhishek is here alone, Aishwarya and Aaradhya still walking the carpet in Cannes, and Jaya and the rest of the family in New York with Shweta and her mother in law, and family .. well Jaya and Navya on a flight right now to NyC ..
In a days’ time Abhishek too leaves to be with family, and all the various functions and events that he has to attend. Envying his guest invitation to the Championship football in England though, and then events for Gucci and the AID’s effort that they are involved in ..
Abhishek of course played a celebrity football game as you know for the proceeds to go for the ‘girl child’ campaign they work for .. and many other such noble causes …
I ramble along .. there is much to catch up with and I expect that there shall be time to do that as the day goes by .. systems must be in place for such procedure .. a team that works out the preliminaries and then you step in guided and advised by them to deliver that one moment ..
The eternal problem … how to find the correct human resource ! I admire those that function in well oiled machinery that looks after each aspect of time management, and professional advice. I do believe I have an infrastructure in place, but perhaps lack the structure … that one element to which one can leave all the decision making to and know that it will be done according to your taste, time and liking ..
Some day … hopefully it shall all fall into place ..
Till then .. good night …
London on the Isles, UK for May 21/22 of 2013 in the time of 12 : 45 AM gmt on the Tuesday that flows over to the Wednesday ..
A meeting with the EF … a simple honest caring encounter… it is the simple things in life that stand out .. and the Ef stood out along with me .. Jaya paid a surprise visit to where we were and it was good that Ef got a chance to be with her for a photograph ..
Ever respectful, the EF sought permission whether they could mention about their meeting .. well … does this missive leave any doubts … ??
Winding up and packing for home can be fun and exciting … but there is always that longing of wanting to stay back .. or at least have a plan to come back soon .. hopefully it shall happen !!
Some ugly and disparaging remarks appear on the waves and I for a moment thought of bringing it all to your notice .. but that would have unleashed a barrage of hostile reactions to the concerned person … leave it .. it takes a lot for the mind to build hatred and vile thoughts … it destroys rather than deliver the purpose of the distaste .. that is the meaning that most that indulge shall never understand .. let them not ! If you wish to cut the branch you sit on, I can only predict the outcome .. I may not be able to save you ..
I leave tomorrow for home … it has been a most eventful and fulfilling few days .. and I do hope that it shall remain so .. humbling, exciting and filled with affection from those that mean so much ..
Allow me the haste with which I end this today .. rest is needed ..
My love ..
The Isles of Great Britain in London, for the 20th-21st of May in the year 2013, and at a time of day Mon-Tue for 3:25 AM, GmT
It needs to be said that the years and decades of the Industrial revolution that occurred in the Western World, cannot be matched by those that struggle to leap frog in quantum endeavour to remain in the reckoning ! Each existing moment there is hope and belief that something which shall revolutionise the lives of us humans, is being worked on in some corner of the world.
How must the faults that come along with invention be rectified, repaired and put forward again to a most discerning audience, is a challenge that is most daunting. The fact that it does get accomplished speaks volumes of those that sit in discussion and debate on the next discovery to ease our lives.
Someone does dream a dream and an entire technology gets motivated to make sure that , no matter how unapproachable it may be, the fulfilment and the perfection of that dream has to be accomplished.
As I travel around this part of the world, I cannot but admire the thought processess of the great minds that have through extreme hard work, eased our living, and given us an answer to the many questions that rack our delicate minds.
Yes, perhaps the humane element to all this is lesser when compared to other parts, but either you accept one or the other … each region has I believe, chosen a path which to them maintains the importance and the relevance of it. So immense is the need for discovery and invention, that those that look in wonder at the feats, must often think what the need for it may have been, since there were more inexpensive ways of accomplishing them. True … perhaps in some parts of the world. But I fear they come from those parts of the world, that have either attempted and failed, or having failed do not wish to permit any intervention to a flourishing existing business !!
However, with the proximity that communication brings with us today, it shall remain well nigh impossible to ignore or even condescend to walk away from such inventions ….
Inventions start from basic improvements … improvements that bring about ease of work and therefore life. And since the benefits of these are so readily visible, the desire to not exactly do away with them has disappeared … well almost …
It could be as lavish and unbelievable as the Chunnel under the sea of the English Channel, or just quite simply, a door knob with smoother operations. Each day of the year and year after year, there is a most accomplished think tank that must do nothing else but this .. one that continuously thinks of bringing change of conduct !!
Would all of this finally destroy us … as a society ? I think not. We were happier then to book a call to New York and get to speak to the concerned person after a week. We are equally happy and concerned too, that while travelling at great speeds under the crust of the earth, under the belly of a massive ocean, water body, Channel … we are unable to connect as rapidly as desired to the people above us ..
Perhaps in time this fault will be noticed and efforts shall be made to rectify it … and with that insure that systems work and shows go on uninterrupted ..
My love to you … and my departure for tonight ..
London of the B-Palace, United Kingdom on the 19th of May 2013, at the time and day of Sunday 8:50 PM , GmT …
Further travel takes me beyond seas again, the seas that have been crossed just a few days rewinded, but for a short length of time, to be back by the evening and then within a day to Mumbai and home …
I must admit it has been a most infectious trip this … the Premiere, the NyC of the United States in the Apple, to the ink blue waters of the South of France and Cannes festival and the opening of ‘Gatsby’… Cap d’Antibes, that little jewel in the vicinity, heard of during the times of University and the visits of some friends there ..
But most importantly … the joy of respect and gratitude for those that associate themselves with cinema the world over, and to be in close proximity of them, to feel and breathe the air of their presence, to hear and be humbled by the knowledge of us with them and to be given the opportunity to find our community on an International platform, reserved primarily by our greats of the developed world !!
It would be improper to detail all the events and the happenings of all these days, much of which has been extensively covered and documented by an enormous presence of the media from all parts of the world, but suffice to say, that the experience of being in the proximity of the greats has but taught us all, the relevance of humility and the respect for fraternity … also it has to be said … that the concerns, apprehensions, anxieties, attitudes joys and sorrows that we in our very small capacity and world encounter, are unanimous with all, from across the globe … collections, first week ends, publicity and marketing, reviews … all remain common to us all …
Ahhh … ! relief ! they are human too …
But enough now of languishing in comfortable reclines, of presentations and of what they that matter think. It is to the board now to start again from where it all started from, to replenish to think to perform to reestablish to perhaps discover and be tutored to fresh and challenged opportunity, to live in apprehension and hope, to wonder what will work and what not, to consider and associate with the new and the important … so much to be done and such little time ..
Would it or will it ever happen … time only can tell … and time has its own limitations, never guided or prescribed ..
hah hahah ha a…
that was to myself as I sit myself down to write my missives .. and it kindles my laughter because of the various efforts I need to make to get to a position of comfort before a word can truly be composed .. confused ?
Let me explain. The wi fi signal in this room has a mind of its own. It connects and disconnects at will. The angle of the lap top then, needs positioning to get those vital conical lines to the brim. These have, through a great process of trial and error been found to be at the edge of my bed, in a corner, normally reserved for extended toes to protrude from under the duvet. It is a 90* angle, and the machine sits in the middle of the angular 90. My chair then faces it, with the pointed corner of the bed, hitting the lower portion of my belly, as I sit astride the 90 of the bed - a leg on each side ! The hands hang in mid air, obviously, as I punch the lines, and that in itself is a process. Now … in order to remove my girth and my limbs that occupy three fourths of my torso, I need to swing the left leg almost above my head, over the open hood of the computer to the other side to meet its compatriot, the other leg, before I can reach out for the phone, mobiles, water or the door ..
Picture that and do empathise with my ‘extenuating circumstances’.. I do go to great ‘lengths’ to connect with the Ef … do I not ??
May all be blessed with good humor health and happiness ..
The British Isles, London on the Saturday-Sunday of May 18th going on to 19th, by the time of 0:35 am GmT …
Until you see it and know that the means are reachable, you tend to procure it, not so much for its immediate need, but that it may not have been readily available earlier ..
Many a story of early and poor struggle haunts numerous individuals, after they have overcome it. They refer to it with some sense of achievement and pride. Many look back upon it with egoistic glee .. ’ I never had it but see how I defeated it through time and work, and now look where I am ..’ ..
Many would find that difficult to express. The insecurity of perhaps falling back to those times keeps them wary of gloating over it. I observe a sports woman declaring that on a programme on Tv and feel hesitant for her…
’ I was very poor and through my talent I am now in a position where I have made enough money that I never need to work ever again ..’
That is a strong expression, filled with the confidence of retaining her wealth, and have the confidence and belief to say it out. Many would never be able to say that. At most, what emanates, refers to the unknown forces and the divinity that marches along with it….
‘God has been kind, to me .. I am fine , thank you … !!
However there are those with ambition and drive and a sense of greater achievement, who never rest on their laurels or their ‘balances’ and desire to do more for more. They are determined people, people that know the potential and how that result that they imagine can and is reached. Their confidence in the nature of their need to excel even greater is remarkable. How do they muster such courage to be able to predict and optimistically state that a higher peak shall be conquered.
Then there are those that philosophically admit that life is but once in all, and that, which they cannot indulge in now, would have to suffer the wait of the next birth - a factor they shall never be able to ascertain even if they did re enter the human earth.
One reads many a smart wording on such belief often .. ‘live like there is no tomorrow ..’ they confess, and expect many to follow suit. How do they get the gall to believe such permanency in their thought ?
I envy such, for I do not have what they have, and I feel that they have right at times. But then I rethink on it and conclude … each of us has been given independent thought word and deed … that is what needs protection. That is what was given to me, in birth, in fate, in way of life, perhaps .. and I must respect that and be content … yes, content !
Many that suffer existence in this life, blame or believe that it is the result of mistakes or wrong doings of the past life, and that till these wrongs committed are corrected, life shall be giving birth to you in similar manner each rebirth. Perhaps as another lesser human or some element of nature. A plant, a tree, an animal, anything that would make your life precarious, because of the faults of a previous life !
These are interesting thoughts. In the absence of scientific proof or examination, they gather an almost impenetrable truth for those that are affected by it …
‘For the wrong that you do, the Almighty, God, Allah, Bhagwan, Eshwar shall seek a price from you .. so be prepared and be frightened of it …’
Faith in the unknown, is faith indeed … for there are many and so much in many that have no answers to the many ..
But I have an answer to at least one - your dedication and love !
The Isles again in Britain, on whose empire once the sun never set, here now for the 17th/18th of May 2013, at a time when we are reaching the two indicators on what is normally called a clock, to 12 :45 AM on gmt
There is a sadness that befalls as one has to leave a place which has begun to grow on you. Cannes certainly had that effect, and I doubt if there shall be another occasion for this to come to me in a repeat, but suffice to say that the hours spent have been most satisfactory.
The meetings with the people, the event of the film, the experience of being asked to open the Festival of the 66th Cannes, the joy and togetherness of all the cast, of informal outings with them … all have been a phenomenal learning experience.
There have been some complimentary reviews on the film and some words of recognition for the character I play. For this I am most grateful. I do feel that the limitations of an alien in the western cinema shall remain, and so the understanding or the moral of this short lived story is that … one must aim small and minuscule, be focussed and true to profession, and remain quietly settled in the background ..
My Father’s words of wisdom on this too, which I may have shared earlier ..
at an event seat yourself on the last row, for if ever they decide to move you, you shall only move forward ..!!
I have found warmth and comfort seated in the last row .. for that is where I belong. There is far too much enthusiasm and desire among those that follow me diligently and with sincerity, to break lose, to push forward selfishly, to meet important makers in this world of International cinema .. I shall … but it has to be restrained in its objective .. self respect, dignity, true value of effort must and has to be maintained.
It does not matter if more comes my way … less will do ..
It does matter though, if I was deserving of the next moment or not !!
Good night then dearest ones … my love
Hotel du Cap, Cap D’Antibes, France of May 16th and past into the 17th at the time of 3am .. late, but in the South of France its acceptable ..
I have no reason to be with the music and the words of my Father … but I remember him much, and in this wild world of celebrity and status, of pageantry and etiquette, of what I believe strained complementariness, of finesse and protocol, of conversation that seems not to have heart perhaps, the genuineness of the verse and the accompaniment of relevant notes, introverts you … that intrinsic feel that many of us experience, yet are hesitant to express, finds space … the space that understands them that remain diligent and connected to the earth … the ground that now terms itself as an obscure expression titled ‘Blog’ !!
I know there is understanding and connection with all … I feel the pounding of the beats as we embrace, touch and reach out to all that commit themselves, assist in forming that which, tested with time, has gone beyond ..
That beyond is my realm, built ‘day by day’ with my breath, my sweat, at times with my blood, and right now with the tears that flow down as symbols each of your affection and love …
I bathe within it, the salt of its presence playing with the edges of my lips, which twitch not in sorrow or sadness, but twinge gently, nervously, to shape the beginnings of a smile …
I am flushed with the love you give me … and find such inadequacy in its repayment ..