Prateeksha, Mumbai June 30/July 1, 2008 1:03am
The above article surprised me. I thought it might surprise you too.
We argue and resent and accuse sometimes without the benefit of understanding and compassion. Of the unawareness of facts and reason. Of information that is misguided. Of a thinking that has not been thought out. Of action taken without giving even a delicate ear to consequences. Of deeds conducted in haste and arrogance. Of never desiring the opportunity to look from the other perspective. Or looking at all.
And then when reality and truth confronts us, there is remorse and regret. Sometimes if you are lucky, an apology.
A bit convenient, do you not think.
But look at the damage done, not to the other, but to oneself. Look how much of the poison and venom that you stored damages your being first. What must the system go through to be able to accommodate such viciousness and temperament. Does one really think that a mere apology clears the deck so to say, or cleanses the mind. Never. It shall remain there as a rude reminder and it shall continuously endeavor to raise its hydra head ever so often.
Does one really wish to be in possession of such temperament ? I would think not and hope not !
When you cut your left hand with your right you commit the gravest of sins. Your being was built as one whole. Let him that constructed it destroy it. Why would we want to interfere in his process unasked ?
Thoughts of such nature race through the mind as I drive to rehearsal. Rehearsals for the Tour. The band the music, the dancers and musicians and the stage, all such nostalgic remembrances.
1981. New York. Felt Forum the smaller 3,500 seater in the prestigious Madison Square Garden complex. Lata Mangeshkar Nite. She invites me for an appearance. Just to introduce her and say a few words. Introduce Lata Mangeshkar ? Me ?
I prepare some words. When I get there a song I had recently recorded for Lawaris is being talked about. Would be wonderful if you could sing it tonight on stage. No. No. No.
Its a frivolous little number. We sing it at weddings and festivals, not worth the dignity of your voice and standard. Never mind. Just do it.
I do ‘Mere Angane Mein’. The audience invades the stage to dance along. No one had seen this happen before. It became a permanent feature of my life, even before the film was released.
Enterprising presenters now designed show after show in all parts of the world and I went along to meet the people I had never known existed. They were heady moments. The crowds and the enthusiasm and the screaming fans. 1983, 1985, 1989, 1990. Thats it. No more. The strain of delivering to expectations is taking its toll. Never again now.
But here I am again after 18 years and at age 66 joining up with the younger set, half my age, to be with the masses again. And rehearsing to fulfill expectations. Tough and hard. The enthusiasm in the body is age reduced, in the mind it is still 1983. Styles and attitudes have changed. Technique and mechanisms have taken over. Nice. Professionalism has pushed aside the entrepreneurs of which I was one.
Apprehensions abound. But that they do before each shot even now. No redemption anywhere. Got to do it, will do it. And hope to do it well.
It is late and it is time to hear the voices of concern tomorrow from the responses -
Back to thin weary pillow -
PS: Yes, Subhash K Jha was published earlier – some of them had missed it, so put it up again.
And ‘Tare Zameen Par’ for IIFA. Aamir did not enter his nomination because he does not believe in awards. IIFA cannot consider a film as per its conditions, if film is not entered by producer. Had IIFA honored it without entry, of which it was most deserving, it would set a wrong precedent. It would take away from those that did enter.