Amitabh Bachchan's Official Blog

Month

February 2010

29 posts

DAY 678

Prateeksha, Mumbai              February/March  28/1 ,  2010                 Sun/Mon  2 : 22 AM

The ‘holika’ burns tonight symbolically burning away the bad the evil that may have been invested in us throughout the year. Some colors and ‘pooja’ essentials are complied with, the auspicious coconut is broken, abuses to the fire representing the evil holika are muttered as per tradition and the ‘gujiya’ made specially for the occasion are devoured with great relish.

It would be difficult to put in writing what those elements are that we have wished to be burnt in this auspicious bonfire, but suffice to say it cannot be some guessing game here by the others. Many a journal and journalist would perhaps have found their way into the fire, along with several other personnel or just something abstract, but divine justice sometimes also plays an important part and much though we may desire some form of civility, we discover that what we desire happens quite by accident. The paper used to flame the fire could be the news paper that is set up to get the fire going and so on. Some kind of poetic justice here prevails. Whether or not it actually cleanses the situation remains to be seen, but … there it is ..

The Enlighten Society for film was a busy and truly enlightened affair. A packed auditorium … well a completely full multiplex theatre – welcomes me and my body of work from the earliest film to the latest and it was remarkable how they had set up a visual delight of various clips from films seen unseen and right down to my latest attempt. After the visuals a discourse is encouraged and it does turn out to be a rather interesting hour of answers, questions and analysis. It is interesting to note the interest that such a moment activates, the queries from the audience and finally their decision to move away from it all.

There is a celebration today by Reliance, to celebrate the year of films and associations that they worked along with and Paa is one of them. So we are present in all our fineries, as are the rest of the Industry. It is a joy to work along each and every decade that went by for me and a wonder at times of what I am still doing here. In all a quiet dignified evening. The children have decided to fraternize so Abhishek and Aishwarya have trundled off with ShahRukh and Hrithik and Karan and Rohan – their gang – to I think ShahRukh’s place to spend an extracurricular evening !! And I have decided to be faithful to my EF and enjoy their companionship.

But not for long … it is turning in to be 3 : 09 AM … time, I would imagine, to be getting in a short while for the morning alarm to ring !!

Good night dearest ones … the eyelids revolt …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 28, 2010
DAY 677

Prateeksha, Mumbai                        February  27,  2010                      Sat  10 : 33 PM


The festival of ‘Holi’ looms and the celebrations have already begun. One can see on the roads the colored faces of the young and the excitement of the coming occasion on the 1st of March.

We do not celebrate again this year. Primarily because of the death of a close relative of our family friend Amar Singh ji, but also we do not feel comfortable in celebrating when our own have lost lives in the Pune blast recently.

My wishes and those of my family remain however with those that do bring in this festival, a festival that fills us with the joy of achievement and change and produce.

Happy Holi !! And may the colors bright and beautiful ever remain with you in celebration. May it bring peace and calm and may it become the turning point for good tidings.

Watching Abhishek on National Bingo Night was a delight, more so because it dedicated the show to Holi and its numerous songs that have played such an important part in our filmology. The two that became eternally popular were ‘Rang Barse’ from the film Sisila and ‘Hori khelen..’ from Baghbaan. Both that I had the good fortune to work in. Both songs that I grew up with, rendered during my growing up years by my Father, the tunes and words being his own and both now recreated and sung by me with the orchestration assist from my dear friend and music director Aadesh Srivastava. All done with that simple and friendly understanding of contributing to the betterment of the film and the product. Never asked for any money on them, never got anything from it and never even held any copyright. Done with love and affection. Now many years later when its popularity and its subsequent usage increases, we look back and wonder how indiscriminate the whole procedure looks now – those that contributed nothing towards its creativity hold maximum benefit and revenue of it ; those that did all the hard work in creating it, singing composing enacting it to make it popular in film, get a smile and a pat on the back and perhaps a credit on the record or CD. Paid for acting in the film yes, but the song and its creation was never considered as separate.

An entire argument and debate and representation has now begun for the rights and royalty to be considered for those that write the songs, that compose it and sing it and contribute greatly in its presence. The Government and the creators are getting into discussion on this and one waits patiently for the final outcome. But would I to dare question this in my favor ? Never ! We are the stars, the exalted positioned, the celebrity. How dare you talk about not getting your due. How dare you talk about your right. You have no right and no standing in the matter, Mr B. You already have so much, why do you want more.

The questions will always be raised against. The question will never be of rational value or of recognition of right. The question will be of irresponsible and undesired argument. In a country heavily laden with ‘have nots’, how dare those that are perceived to ‘have’ , raise a voice. Take what is given, be happy and shut up ! And so we keep quiet.

A new wave of legal heads are slowly emerging that are beginning to draft intricate and exhaustive contracts for us artists, where hopefully all these lacunae shall be addressed. And fortunate are those that shall benefit from this changed scenario. But what of those like me that have gone well past that period, never to visit it again and with remote possibilities of being given the opportunity to create again. Lost to the system, lost to our copyright. Lost for all time to come. International stars of the likes of Elvis and Michael Jackson shall generate more revenues even after their passing away than they would when alive. Irony of life.

Yesterday I read the editorial in the NavBharat Times and am disgusted with the continued reference that the media and particularly the Times Group makes, of the completely erroneous reportage on the circumstances of Aishwarya’s marriage. They continue to repeatedly follow the ridiculous story, that we took her to various temples before she got married, in order to rectify the ‘Mangalik’ nature of her horoscope. This home cooked story has been refuted a million times. I have personally gone to the Times head office and sat with 50 of their editors in their conference room to clear any doubts questions they may have had. From the ‘mangalik’ issue to the laughable matter of us getting her married off to a tree first to ward off the curse, has and had been denied and explained over a 5 hour grilling that I was subjected to and still after so many years have passed the paper continues this false and incorrect tirade. You all are aware how Jug Suraiya, a leading columnist from the paper had written a piece containing similar insinuations and how I had responded to it. Not a word came back from the paper. No rectification, no retraction, no acceptance of the clarification given to their top brass in person, no acknowledgement even to my plea for a clarification. And yet time and again they continue to write falsehood and lies on this matter. This is the Times Group, the leading newspaper of the country, a media outfit that is expected to exercise integrity and moral standing, of ethics of journalism, of justice and fair play and unbiased opinion.

Here is the article from the NavBharat Times -

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For those that do not read and understand Hindi, the article is on reel and real images of celebrities and mentions in the marked area how when Amitabh takes his to be daughter in law to Varanasi to difuse the ‘mangalik’ curse, his image that has been developed and made over years, begins to get destroyed within minutes. It further quotes my Father’s works that talks of his non belief in superstitions and how his ‘illustrious’ son disbeliefs in it.

This is just a lot of mindless and witless bilge !!

Abhishek was seeing Aishwarya those days. She happened to be shooting in Delhi when the whole family, that had come to Delhi for a private function, decided to visit Varanasi where Jaya was shooting for a Yash Raj film with Rani Mukherji, Abhishek too playing a small part cameo in it. Aishwarya had not visited the Kashi temple and expressed a desire to come along. We agreed. That was it. A simple temple visit much like several other visits that we make many a time in our lives. But the story cooked up was that there was an ulterior motive. Nothing was checked, no body from either the temple or us was asked to verify the accusation or the story that was being manufactured, nothing. And look where we are now. Years down the line, that completely made up yarn, is being quoted in editorial after editorial, after every required effort made on our part of having given clarification and denial has been registered and accepted.

It is a pitiable state that the institution that prides itself in being the conscience of a nation, stoops repeatedly to the depths of crass, unsubstantiated, gross and asinine journalism.

But away and enough of this …

Jaya’s younger sister’s are over and the threesome indulges in common interests and activity through out the day. Its wonderful to see them sit around and chatter away, play their game of ‘rummy’ watch Bingo and play along while Abhishek and his guest on the show hit the baton for relevant numbers to score off a sheet that they hold, and hope that they could win some money sitting in front of the tv set. Ha ha ..

Balki’s meeting meanwhile goes off well. We discuss a few ideas that he has and they all seem interesting and novel. It is important to get into discussion and debate. So much clarity of thought comes along before taking the plunge. Hopefully something of value shall come about from thus meeting too.

Tomorrow we are together again for most of the day. The Enlightened Society, a organisation that encourages debate and discussion on various films and the artists connected with it, with the masses, will be screening PAA and we shall be up with the viewers on stage to debate the film and react to questions that they may want to raise. I had been  a part of this exercise in Berlin once as a viewer. I had gone along with Jaya, who was then with the Children’s Film Society of India, to the Berlin Film Festival, and after the screening of one of the films in the festival, the director and artists appeared on stage and a most healthy reaction session began which was most enlightening. Berlin was even then in those early years, very conscious of Indian films and its stars. There is a huge Turkish community that resides there and I was told of a rather odd incident that took place when I was attending this particular festival. The Turks are very fond of Indian films and on coming to know of my presence, a young lady or a young man had apparently slit his or her stomach with a knife, because she or he had not been permitted to visit the theatre where I was to make an appearance. Sad and certainly something that should be never be used as an example. Frightening !!

Reliance Communications, is also tomorrow celebrating the success of Paa and is hosting a party. They have been associated with several films of late that have done well and they wanted to express their joy. 3 idiots, Avataar, Rock On, and Raavan among the forthcoming, are some of their connected products. Hurray !! A celebration well deserved !!

Good night dearest ones … I have left the giggling sisters to themselves and have taken to bed ..

With love and more …

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Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 27, 2010
DAY 676

Prateeksha, Mumbai                      February  26,  2010                     Fri/Sat  12 : 12 Am

Amar Singh ji’s wife, Pankaja ji has lost her brother. It is the ‘barahvi’, the 12th day, a prayer special on the departed soul. Pankaja ji comes from an erstwhile principality in Gujarat, Deerd. Her family being the fuedal lords of the region. The ancestors ruling over the space, until of course the cessation of all the principalities to the British during its time of colonialism. And then subsequently in 1971, came the abolition of Privy Purses from all the rulers over the country.

Dared ( pronunc ; da ree d ) , is a small little town tucked away in the dry and rustic region of Gujarat, that surrounds the small little city, a 20 minute helicopter ride from Bhavnagar where we have flown together this early morning by 7 am – Aishwarya and I. Jaya and the Singh family have flown in from Delhi, and our timing is such that we both land from different directions, at the same time.

I had been once before to Dared, when Pankaja ji’s Mother had passed away. And now again today on a not very happy note. Life’s coincidences are such a mystery and such a surprise.

Anxious and starry eyed simple village people surround the make shift helipad built to allow our helicopter to land from Bhavnagar, by the hundreds. They wave and scream and shout, unaware of the circumstances that we are here for. The ancestral home is simple yet has still been maintained in the old world fort like structure, which houses the family.

It is a fort like construction and the workmanship is such that even after years and years of its existence, the palace, if it can be called that, is still quite the same. No effort has been made to restore and repair. But it does not require anything. Its pristine architecture still a marvel and its surroundings still kept the way they were first constructed.

Castle like doors and large gates usher you in to the ‘angan’, the court yard, a favorite of mine. I simply love them, courtyards – the ‘angan’. So much character to it. The sun is bright and getting to be a bit harsh. I like it. We sit within the portals of the ‘angan’. There is an air of silence about. Friends relatives and elders keep pouring in to pay their respects. That typical royal fuedal reverence to the elder, so exclusive to us and their special manner in which they greet, just so respectful and full of grace.

The women get down on their haunches hands folded in the ‘namaskar’, seek their blessings and then go about their respective works, heads covered in the presence of public and the men. Widows wear a black sari with a bright red border running right through it on the edge and are all bunched up in one corner of the house, in one of his rooms. The mood is sombre and sad. After short intervals someone breaks down and the others rush to console her. Death steals one of all inhibition and control. The prayers are on as we hear them in some corner. We are not supposed to be at the ‘pooja’. Mourners keep coming in paying respects to the elders of the family and then after expressing grief, leave. I sit there immersed in the ambience and thoughts for the moment. A large ‘neem’ tree in the middle of the ‘angan’, its width and height symbolizing how long it had been there and how long during its stay there it may have been a mute witness to the many that passed away under it.

‘Neem’, that wonder leaf, that wonder tree, its new leaves medicinal in property and diet. Its branches forming the early tooth brushes, called the ‘datun’, since its branches too were of considerable hygenic assistance, today standing there majestically alone, providing the much needed shade to an ever warming afternoon.

Most of rural and interior India is still so steeped in old customs values and practices. It is a delight to see them being enacted in front of us, even as the generation next sneers at it. And then just as quickly as we reached there, we were on our way back.

More needs to be observed on this but I am now flaking out … which in general colloquial language means … FLAKING OUT !!! I cannot fathom which part of the world I am right now, but if I can get sufficient sleep I probably will.

There may have been speculation and question marks on the Mumbai Mirror episode – many noticing that there was a silence on my part, but I did not not feel it necessary to include all of you in the process – and so I restrained myself. But a unknown message from a fan picks up the spirits -

” Coins always make so much sound ; but the currency notes are always silent. So when the value increases, keep yourself calm and silent.”

There is much here that needs explanation and it would need expanse and more time. Suffice to say for the moment that despite a few personal apologies from management and owners, no public apology has taken place. You cannot abuse me in public and then come and say sorry to me in private !!

So … even though we have great relations with the family in ownership and despite the fact that we have continuously responded to their needs whenever desired, unstintingly -

- the lawyers notice has been delivered to the editor of Mumbai Mirror, seeking on a legal plane retraction and apology -

- and we have informed Filmfare that neither will Aishwarya be performing at the event, for which all preparations had been made and neither shall any of us be attending. Which includes Balki the director of the film, even when Paa has been nominated in five categories for the evening. No coercion, just a voluntary decision of solidarity. Thank you Balki !! Instead he shall be coming over to discuss a few new and exciting ideas for our next film !! Could’nt have chosen a better time  !!!

Let me rest now. I shall fill in more by the morn ..

Mornings are good for a clean and reinvigorated mind … they are also good for wishes of a pleasant night !! Ha ha ..

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 26, 2010
DAY 675

Prateeksha, Mumbai                     February  25,  2010                    Thu  11 : 52 PM

Thank you all for your concern for Shweta. She is much better and is apart from being a bit sore, mobile and active. I am also concerned about what has happened to another member of our FmXt, Shankar. Our prayers are with you in this hour of anxiety.

It has been a day of travel, as can be seen and along with that a day of waiting. Waiting for judgement, waiting for justice, waiting …

Waiting has become an integral part of our existence and life. We wait for 9 months before we appear in the world. We wait to grow up and learn and understand. We wait for results, for maturity, for the right moment and time. We wait for good to happen. We wait for the Almighty to listen to us to absolve us or help us. We wait on seniority, on elders, on dignity. We wait a lot in life.

And many that have seen and experienced life advise us to practice the art of waiting. The fruits, they say are most beneficial when we wait for opportunity and the right time. Many though have contradictory opinions on this. Do not wait for things to happen, go out and make them happen. Perfectly legitimate observations and practice and one that pays immensely. Many have actually benefitted from this observation.

Which wait then to practice in life. To wait or not to wait, that is the question. And each aspect has been proven to perfection. Those that have waited and plucked the fruits of desire, have been matched by those that have desired without the wait and still achieved what they set out to, invariably.

I wait often and I am not certain whether I do the right thing, follow the rule and be guided by age old thought and philosophy. But many disagree and complain that achievement could have been elevated had there been clarity of decision at a time when the decision should have been exercised. There is a sense and a practical observation to both aspects. And I believe that one may have to take both in equal doses in order that greater prosperity is achieved.

So … I wait … wait for sense to prevail, for attitudes to ferment, decisions to fructify, time to mature, results to appear … wiser always. But the impatience of youth and its penchant for quick fix results is a most compelling factor and one that can flood completely your thoughts in grave circumstances. In the end then it is the singular most important factor of personal ease and decision that prevails … and whether we like it or not we come back to the individual decision, the individual act, the individual moment … and comply.

No one, but no one will see the world as you can see it alone. No one then can take the decision in isolation of collectivity. Collectivity is good, provided all those that collect, think and act alike. There are very few examples in the world when this can actually happen.

We had spoken of the action acts in a few of the posts. The stunt coordinators from overseas and the acumen of the local talent in acclimatizing themselves of new and safe inventions. Good. But in the end it is an individual decision. No amount of precaution and safety can guarantee that things will not go wrong. The simplest of action shots can cause the worst damage and the most complicated and dangerous acts go without a scratch. It is individual decisions and acts that are responsible for it.

I like to see the act rehearsed before the action is conceived in a stunt. I like to ask a few questions which according to my very limited understanding of the situation, need to be asked. There are times when certain basics are brought to the front, which even the most brilliant mind cannot conceive. Once that is set and in position in your mind, then must one accept the involvement in its execution. A cardinal error that most make is to believe that they are going to get hurt. When they do and when they go into it with such a frame of mind, invariably they are proven correct. They do get hurt. But, when you have convinced yourself that this has to be done then to entertain anything other than its success will be harmful. A conviction that all will be well needs to be the frame of mind of all. A positivity at the time pays. To get into that situation is a must. Work out all the pros and cons, think out the suitability, weigh the pitfalls and then when all is ready in the mind then … never … ever entertain any other thought than the success of the operation. Just go for it !! The conviction that when you will run into a glass frame and sail through it without blemish, will actually help you in succeeding than when there is apprehension against it.

There are however some delicate moments too. I have hated any dangerous stunt done for me by any double or substitute. Unless he is better qualified for the job and there are many that are, I will opt to do it myself. The pain of seeing someone get hurt for my sake is unbearable.

But … there is another catch. When you do your own stunt, you deprive the recognized stunt man from earning that little extra for that particular shot. That little extra may be the fees for the schooling of his little girl ; that delicacy he may enjoy with his family hitherto deprived. Many a time I have succumbed to this thought, for the sake of an enhanced earning for my stunt double. But many a time have I lamented too this ‘generosity’ when I have seen them get grieviously injured. There is the pain and discomfort of a damaged part or portion of a body, but the smile of having earned that extra for the family. Its a black comedy. A travesty of life.

I dislike this harsh reality. It pains me to see life treat one differently and the other differently. But it is these complexities that takes us through our journey. Nothing you do will ever be completely right. Error and exigencies shall prevail. And we shall stand by the door or the side walk and wait … wait for things to improve … or happen never to improve … but it shall never stop us from waiting .. because we shall never know what may be the results after we wait .. and it is the hope of fulfillment at the end of the wait that makes what life is all about ..

Not so me now … for, I never wait to express my love for my extensions and my family …

Remain well and safe ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 25, 2010
DAY 674
Sopaan, New Delhi                    February 24/25,  2010                     Wed/Thu  1 : 01 AM The Jet Airways flight back from London was uneventful. Uneventful in terms of disturbance and discomfort. Most of the 8 and a half hour journey was smooth and quiet, except for all the shooting that transpired on the Johny Depp film where he plays the out law Dillinger The film apparently did not fare well, but for me it was a most interesting film. Visually it was different. The settings for each frame of celluloid was like a painting done with a certain obviousness, yet made so casual and natural that it never impacted the film’s story scene and style. I quite liked it … liked the way it had been put together. I had wished though that Dillinger would have lived, but he got shot and died. When you worship a hero in film, you wish for him to survive and come out victorious. Here in the film that is the element that was missing. Or maybe I am too biased on Mr Depp !! The stewards and the charming air hostesses were so concerned for my well being that it was quite overwhelming. They do care for me and do still feel like having a photo opportunity with me … in the galley quietly. I notice that on local inland flights as well. I sometimes wonder what it is that drives them to get that moment. Younger AB yes, the younger lot – SRK, Aamir, Salman, Hrithik, Ranbir yes yes.. but for me .. no it does not make sense !! Anyway enough of this tale, before clientele starts erupting about deliberate modesty from me .. but seriously though .. even the Commander of the flights come down. As did … no no … cannot mention names … would that get them into trouble ! Yes it sure would. Not so much these guys, but those that I encountered a short while ago on a national flight. Both the commanders were out in the galley … when a horrified me was summing up enough courage to ask in bewilderment – ” Hey !! Who’s flying the plane .. then …??” I slept a bit, but most of the journey kept awake peering from the window, watching the world go by. Overnight flights have this peculiarity. You are always flying towards the morning and so the day breaks early on the aircraft. The early morning hues in the sky, the faint clouds here and there, lands, lakes, mountains, cities, civilizations, the odd crossings of other aircraft – they are getting a bit too frequent and bit to close for aero comfort, but sometimes its nice to know that you are not alone in the hemisphere !! Closer home as you come over the lower parts of Afghanistan and into Pakistan and Dillinger Depp has been eliminated, the terrain below is some of the most beautiful you shall ever witness. Stark dry mountains, sharply cut into plateaus and drops as though they had at some point been under the sea or  a part of it. Their monotony broken by a sudden patch of the lightest blue ; a mismanaged lake spreading lazily over an expanse of land that has not bothered to ask its existence, has not demarcated barriers or divisions, but just is there with its unformed rugged barriers !! And then as soon as you fly over the Rann of Kutch, even from this height of 36,000 feet, one cannot but marvel at this great visual of nature. Miles and miles of white barren expanse, this morning, tinged with the lightest pink across the length of it .. an accidental spill of pink ink over a white sheet of paper … !!

And then as you land and come out of immigration and customs you wait for a while before Aishwarya lands up and we spend some time catching up and the again on to another flight with her to get to Delhi in time for the evening function of the NDTV Indian of the Year Awards.

Jaya is flying somewhere in UP in a helicopter and she shall land in time for all of us to get together for the function. Aishwarya too is being rewarded for her contribution, so its another family affair. Shweta is informed and she is told we shall pick her up since the venue is on the way. We are running late. The ladies have taken their time in getting dressed and yes they are looking gorgeous, but as we drive in to Shweta’s house and wait for her to come down into the car, the staff comes rushing out -

‘Madam has had a fall she is calling you !!”

Jaya, Aishwarya and I having got together at Sopaan to change and wash up are in the car and out of it in lightning speed. We run inside and find Shweta on the staircase, on her haunches and in tears. Her foot and her sandals have slipped and she has landed on the edge of the step midway on her back. She is unable to move. We gather her up and gently pick her and take her to her bed. She is in deep pain and we try to calm her down within her tears that are beginning to ruin her glowing face. She is looking so beautiful and her dress so apt and smart for the occasion. But now distress has taken over. Feel so bad for her. She was looking so pretty. Would have stunned everyone at the function. Cold compresses and reassurance later she begins to settle down, but has difficulty in walking. Agastya and Navya that had been tucked away to bed, have run out from their bedroom and look on helplessly. I calm them down as does their Mother who is now the recipient of some cold fermentation from Jaya. Sadly Shweta decides not to go along, obviously, and we leave her with a heavy heart as she settles down and insists that we carry on.

I hate it to see my children like this … but she is a brave girl and manages to bring on a faint smile to make us comfortable. We leave for the function and tell her to relax and we shall see her soon.

NDTV … Indian of the Year … acknowledging 21 years of the existence of the channel and simultaneously acknowledging Indians that have been an inspiration for the country in these 21 years !! Young Rukhsana, the teenaged girl from Kashmir who when attacked by a terrorist, snatched his own weapon and killed him. Aradhna, the brave Mother of  her daughter who after being molested by a police officer committed suicide and is fighting for 19 years now to get justice when she discovered that the officer had been let off with a warning and nothing more. Executives and bureaucrats and finance wizards that have helped in forming the modern image of progressive India. Ministers, politicians that have shaped well. Film makers and twitter artists – Karan Johar, Shahrukh Khan, Aishwarya, Priyanka, Ranbir, proud parents Rishi and Neetu, AR Rahman. Sportsmen – Sachin, Dhoni, Saina Nehwal. LK Advani and Chidambaram. LK Advani presents me mine, and admits on stage that he has not missed a single film of mine from the very first Saat Hidustani, for which he had been dragged to by my Mother – Advani having had a very close relationship with our family since very early years – right down to Paa !! I am so humbled. So many luminaries in the audience. The most powerful in the country in politics and the services. The three Army chiefs, and the people that matter in India’s presence, all mingling in a vast multitude of acknowledgment to those deserving candidates in the last 21 years of the country.

And in the middle of all this – Sachin playing the one dayer with South Africa in Gwalior creates history by being the first human in the universe to have scored 200 runs in an ODI … and India beats So Africa by a huge margin to retain their world position. Dhoni on tele conference from the cricket venue, including me as one of his inspirations in life … aaahhhh !! Just so much praise … humbling humbling ..

I send Sachin a congratulatory sms and he responds back with his customary thanks and love, inquiring after the family, affected I would like to believe by this horrific Mumbai Mirror article ; as have so many that we meet wherever we go.

So much in a day …

From Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of Great Britain and being seated by him at dinner, over night to Chidambaram, Home Minister of the country within 24 hours. From Jyoti Basu longest running Chief Minister of  Bengal and charismatic leader of the Communist Party, to Karunanidhi in Chennai, the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu, to Yeddurappa the Chief Minister of Karnataka, to Kerala among their authority, to Shiela Dikshit, Chief Minister of Delhi who runs up to me at the President of India, Pazhassi Raja Award to check if the tax exemption for Paa has been picked up from her office or not, I wonder now what the cynics who saw ulterior motive in my visit to Gujarat and my meeting with Narendra Modi, cook up.

Labor Party to Congress Party to BJP to DMK to back to Congress to Bala saheb Thakeray … to Narayan Murty of Infosys, to Raj Deep Sardesai of CNNIBN to Pranoy Roy of NDTV …the cynics and sooth sayers, the analysts and prediction pundits, political and social psychologists, sporting commentators and film fraternity ( SRK dramatically posturing himself in servile mode in front of me on stage today in response to a question by media as to how I handled my iconic status and me saying I do not handle coz’ i do not hold such status, and SRK jumping in and saying I tell how we handle it and then he bends down in reverence in front of me to my great embarrassment ) … all .. must be having a field day trying to pin some fault in my associations with these eminent people .. Ha ha ha  !

O ! Dear Lord ! Forgive them for they know not what profound fools they make of themselves in assuming grave meaning behind these visits of mine.

I am but an ordinary man, possessing very ordinary traits and content with the happiness that this brings me. Do not align me with the complexity of your thoughts. They can be put to better use. Use them !!

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‘Tis 3 : 19 AM …

I have no idea of time or place or location … tomorrow is perhaps back to Mumbai …

But no perhaps in my love for you ..

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Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 24, 2010
DAY 673

London, UK                          February  23, 2010                         Tue  5 : 45 PM

I do not have a story to tell. I do not have a day to discuss. I do not have incidents to reminisce about. I have nothing and nobody to reveal. I have but just myself. And having just myself is not such a bad thing after all. At least I have something.

I may be in possession of the greatest riches in the world. I may be in possession of the greatest opportunities in the world. I may be in possession of the greatest wisdom that exists in the world. But .. if I do not have myself … I have nothing …

I may be the poorest of the poor. I may have nothing in material gain. I may have no knowledge. But … if I do not have myself … I have nothing …

If I cannot put to use the material gain. If I cannot put to use my lack of opportunity to attain opportunity, then … I am and have nothing !!

At the end of the day it is only the ‘I’ that shall strive for betterment. It is only the ‘I’ that shall attempt to achieve and overcome, it is only the ‘I’ that shall face the turmoil, take the decisions, face the accolades and the abuse. ‘I’. Nothing more, nothing less.

There will be support. There will be friends and well wishers and family and its extended avataar. But eventually it will be just the ‘I’ that shall prevail in the end. I shall have to do, I shall have to suffer, I shall get the appreciation and love, I shall prosper, I shall fail. I.

Such an important word, I. Can we ever do without it ? I do not know … see … used ‘I’ again ha haa !!

Royal Lancaster Hotel, last night still remains with me. We had come to London for the climax, a luxury then, because we wanted to shoot helicopter sequences and we were not getting the permission to do so in India. Action and stunt coordinators from foreign lands were unheard of till ‘Sholay’ and thereafter became a necessary addition to every production after ‘Sholay’. Until, our own boys from the action world in Mumbai, learnt the ropes and the tricks and the equipments and the technology.

The spring boards used to gain height when making jumps, the sponge paddings for the knees and elbows, the extra support for the spine when doing falls, the cardboard boxes for the soft landings, wire pulls for horse rider falls and a host of other tricks, all tested and experimented with for the first time in ‘Sholay’. And then a long association with stunt coordinators and among them Jerry Crampton, the most affable, kind, generous friend. Last saw him at Selfridges, waving out from the audience gathered for the celebration month dedicated to Indian Cinema in the store some years ago. How time flies and how it changes perspectives and deeds and acts.

Unaware of the presence of these facilities that existed to ease our lives and I daresay our bodies during action work, I wonder what would have been the state of our structures had we not had the benefit of the coordinators from England at the time. Now of course Indian Cinema has gone ballistic in its resources and we have the best from all over the world working on our projects, and with exceptional results.

The Royal Lancaster again and the joy and fulfillment of taking my parents to Oxford to meet, Marjorie Boulton, the academician that had translated my Father’s ‘Madhushala’ in the 50′s. A soft spoken, cherubic lady now aged a bit, but full of love for India and my father’s writing. Her cosy little home full of little objects d’ arts and of course books. She loved Indian food and we took her to one such, and then perhaps the only, Indian restaurant in Oxford. The ‘gulab jamuns’ at the end of the meal being her favorite. I have no news of her now. Or maybe I did. My memory fails me. Driving my parents there and back had been a moment of great happiness. Happiness to observe the look of great delight and satisfaction for my Father, who was returning to his days in Cambridge and England in 1952-54 after more than 25-30 years !! The times and environment then, the times and environment now. His struggles then with meagre resources, my joy now in providing him gainful facility. Nothing in the world compares with the satisfaction a child derives when he provides for his parents. We live and strive for this one moment in life ; when we can through our own ability and strength, give to them that brought us into this world, the very best we can. To comfort and support them. To look after them. To rid them of any old age anxiety. To care and provide them with every need of life. To give them the joy of companionship and family. To live and exist under their leadership as the head. To seek their blessings each day before we set out and to come back for it, after an achievement. To just sit beside them and hold their hand. Giving them the reassurance of our presence and love and to receive from them that soft touch of their divine presence.

Gone from our lives now, physically, but in our hearts forever, with their blessings and love.

I travel now back to my soil. For tomorrow, there is another recognition in Delhi, by NDTV for their Indian of the Year Awards, acknowledging the sizable number of years of their existence and acknowledging those that strung along in the world of the country, in various capacities, along with them.

And ‘I’ string along my love with you … that is my truest award !!

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Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 23, 2010
DAY 672
London, UK                             February  22, 2010                        Tue  9:40 PM GMT

There are moments in life when time place and circumstance bring you back nostalgically to reminisce, to look back, to remember moments spent, reliving events of a bygone time, with a gentle smile on your face.

I look into the mirror this evening and notice a similar smile. A smile without reason or cause. It is a smile not pleasant with body or mind, but one that harbors a tinge of melancholy… no that would be too dramatic … not exactly melancholic, but somewhat unexplainable. I feel and sense goodness. I brim over with a peculiar confidence, yet feel labored in admitting it. There is the joy of achievement, accomplishment, but the harshness of irreverence to it by the world and society. Yet when it does get acknowledged the awkward embarrassment of it, leaves you with a wish it almost should not have been there.

A very strange state to be in, if it can be called one.

I have just returned from the Silver Star charity event, for the Mobile Diabetic Unit being presented to me by the Prime Minister of Great Britain, Gordon Brown for my city Mumbai at a rather well attended sit down dinner evening at the Royal Lancaster Hotel in London Central. The Prime Minister speaks gloriously of me in his speech and my contribution towards such noble causes. He jokes about how his television audiences at a recent event went out to 4 million people and how the release of my latest film in a few days would reach out to 500 million ! His generous praise makes me wonder what it is that I may have done to receive such accolade from one of the most powerful and important people in today’s world. During the photo opportunity with those that have contributed towards the event he has a kind word for everyone. He talks of the diverse cultures that exist in his country and how the Indian community has made such valuable and vast contributions. He acknowledges the rapid manner in which India progresses and looks upon it as a marvel and finally how working together towards a common cause can bring about results that would be the envy of many.

There are diplomatic representatives from several countries, there is distinguished presence of those entrepreneurs that started off small as immigrants to England and through hard work and labor established themselves now as large corporates and vibrant businessmen. There are the affluent in British society that modestly contribute to the evenings proceedings and there are some interesting entertainers that bring a mood change to the evening. And there is Shilpa Shetty and Sanjay Dutt.

Keith Vaz the MP from Leicester is the major domo of the evening. It has been his initiative and drive that runs the charity so efficiently and who has been a true friend over many years.

The Prime Minister comes in and leaves without too much fuss on security and protocol, much like any other visitor for the evening. It is his birthday and a cake and a single candle is brought along. As a group of entertainers breaks out into the ‘birthday’ ditty, he covers a self conscience smile with words on his sons. They would have been happy to have been here he remarks and obligingly cuts the cake bearing the front door and address of the official residence 10, Downing Street among the icing on top.

The Royal Lancaster Hotel, venue for the event. Royal Lancaster Hotel, our accommodation during the shooting of the climax of ‘Dostana’, Zeenat Aman, Shatrughan Sinha, Salim-Javed, Dharma productions, Yash Johar, all come alive suddenly. And my parents, both here with me for a holiday that I have brought them along for. Their room down the corridor on the far end from mine. All their friends and relatives coming by during the day to meet them. Students from his time of teaching in the Allahabad University now settled here in lucrative jobs. Milap Mausi ji, my Mother’s elder sister from Jullunder, now living here with her sons and my cousins, the Sikh side of my blood. The shootings every day at a remote airfield. Stunts on helicopters and cars, a huge novelty then. Make up trailer vans on location, a luxury then now a common necessity and visits in the night after pack up to the newest disco place on a roof top surrounded by green planters and owned jointly by an Indian gentleman who had spent most of his life in Europe, having left his home in either Bihar or UP. I had met him in Calcutta, now Kolkata when he had walked into the office I worked in, Blacker & Co on some work. I remembered him because of the peculiar way he spoke Hindi. The tone Bihari but with large dosages of French and German accents. Unique.

The drives around London in common friend Khalid’s Rolls Royce – such a kick, picking up many young lot studying in London ; Tony Jethmalani son of the eminent lawyer and legal luminary Ram Jethmalani, being one of them. Hanging from helicopters in the day, hanging at disco at night. It was the late 70′s. Life was still carefree and without stress. And when the shoot was over, accompanying Prakash Mehra from London to USA for the very first time. Canada, New York, Los Angeles .. heady days !! NRI’s in masses at cinema theatre’s where I was taken to show my face, by distributors of our film. Marketing at its initial stages !! Now a very refined art. System is the same, its presentation different. The hordes at a down town cinema hall in LA and my first meeting with the effervescent Kirit Trivedi who rescued me from the clothes tearing, hair snatching ladies pouring all over as I am pushed out from the aisles by security, in some haste – Kirit screaming expletives and guiding me in hectic pace to a white Rolls, dumping me in and taking off at the speed of knots virtually on two wheels, up the wrong side of the road !!! From that day on Kirit became a part of us and still is. Concert concepts, events, unique ideas all came from him. My very first stage concert, the world tour in 1981 and 1983 all his baby and all forming the origins of events for stars on a global level now.

Ahhh… !! Those were the days !! The energy and the excitement and the thrills of those unimaginable moments. Never to be seen again and never ever recreated till today. The frenzy and madness and the constant inventiveness of each day as we went along from city to city. Never before, never again !!

Ironically one of our tours was called ‘Now or Never’ !!

So much to say and so little the time !! Time now to say good night and with wishes for the Big B Group and the FmXt that trooped in to the Hotel this afternoon to devour some quality moments … thank you for spending time with me … love you …

And before we go -

Mumbai Mirror   Apologize  !!!

Mumbai Mirror    Apologise !!!

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Feb 22, 2010
DAY 671
London, UK                           February  21, 2010                        Sun 1 : 45 PM GMT

Mumbai Mirror   Apologize  !!!


Ms Menal Baghel  you are the Editor of the Mumbai Mirror ..
Ms Menal Baghel you are a woman ..
Ms Menal Baghel your paper has maliciously slandered the modesty of another woman ..
Ms Menal Baghel your paper must apologize !!

Outrage and support builds up every minute for this unethical behavior and I am just so overwhelmed. Yes there are the regulars that show solidarity and concern, but there are some that are alien to the blog, alien to me as an actor, alien to me as a human being, but yet when it comes to the issue at hand, they join hands !

A gentleman writes that he has never liked me as an actor or as a human being, but says in this matter he is together with me. I am deeply touched. Thank you sir !

A respondent from the blog sums it all up. This is Dr Sara from Pakistan -

February 21, 2010 at 1:10 am
me my family n All Pakistani Nation is with U And ur Family Mr. Bachchan.
Pakistan and Pakistanis are supposed to be enemies of Indians. Here a Pakistani is vouching her support on behalf of entire Pakistan.
Jis Ghav par Dushman bhi marham laga dey
Woh ghaav kitna jalim hoga?

In Hindi devnagri the words written are -

जिस घाव पर दुश्मन भी मरहम लगा दे ,

वो घाव कितना ज़ालिम होगा ?


You can imagine how treacherous the wound must be, when even the enemy dresses it !!

Came in to London as you can all see, after a horrendous flight – heavy turbulence throughout – just could not rest at all. I was to be here for two events. The premier of Teen Patti and a charity event. The premier has been cancelled, the producers tell me, due to internal management issues and the charity event remains. It is the launching of a Mobile Diabetic Unit by Silver Star an organization under the patronage of Rt Hon Keith Vaz, MP from Leicester, the longest sitting MP of Indian origin in the British Parliament. I had inaugurated this very worthy and noble cause here in Leicester some time ago and some months back if you remember I had gone to Goa in India to launch the MDU there. This launch tomorrow shall be done by Mr Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of UK and shall be done for Mumbai. The van is being called ‘Amitabh’, which is a little embarrassing, because of my support for this very noble cause and because I had become its chief patron when this exercise was initiated. Other MDU’s shall be launched in time to come, for Delhi and Kerala as well. This unit works as a service for the detection of diabetes, an ailment which many a time goes unnoticed until its too late. There are over 50 million cases of diabetes in India, the Indians being prone to this ailment in large numbers as you can see.

Meanwhile activities for the ‘vog’ continue. I keep recording my voice messages on a fairly regular basis and the operators seem to express happiness. They tell me that soon they shall be able to facilitate a response voice medium too for the clients to talk back and leave voice messages for me as a response to mine. The world of technology becommeth smaller and more intricate.

It is zero degrees here in London and it is raining as well … but the warmth of your love and care keeps me protected .. thank you ..

Amitabh Bachchan


Feb 21, 2010
DAY 670

Prateeksha, Mumbai                            February  20/21,  2010                          Sat/Sun  12 : 12 AM


A public insult, a public humiliation, a public lie…
Needs a public apology..

Mumbai Mirror, you have erred. If you profess to be the keepers of justice and fair play. If you profess to be bound by the ethics of your code of conduct. If you have any respect for your profession … Apologize !! I thank all those that have come out in support and understood the seriousness of the horrific reportage in the Mumbai Mirror … Endless friends and those that we do not know have sent in hundreds of sms’s expressing their disgust for the Mumbai Mirror and its callous behavior… This morning as I got off the plane from Delhi I had a call from the Deputy Commissioner of Police, asking me to call him back. When I did he said - ” Mr Bachchan, I have called to congratulate you on your stand against the Mumbai Mirror. We are Government servants and even though there are many occasions when we wish to express our anguish and ire, we have to restrain ourselves because of the job we hold and respect, but I am so glad that you have said what you did in your blog. This is unpardonable what the paper has done. I just want you to know that I am with you. If there is anything that I can do, let me know.” Abhishek and Aishwarya attended a wedding of a friend last night and the moment they walked in, there was a spontaneous applause from the guests. Then something strange happened. All the guests at the wedding huddled around  Abhishek and Aishwarya and started shouting in one voice - “We are with you !!!” This has never been seen before and I am thankful to the public and the people for expressing their solidarity to us as a family and to the cause per se. For all those that do not have access to the Indian press, let me tell you that each one of them, barring of course the Times Group carried contents of the blog and narrated the injustice meted out to us. I thank the saner media for this. The Hindu for example carried Letters to the Editor and there is a bunch of letters that do not talk about the incident we are involved in but, do express the general feeling for the media in not so generous a manner . Here it is -

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Judge for yourself, dearest FmXt. I shall pursue until my due is obtained !! In all the effort to get what I needed to say about the press article I completely overlooked the event that took place last evening in Delhi. Your dear friend and fellow member, the writer and originator of this blog, yours truly, was awarded the ParHassi Raja Award by the President of India at a formal ceremony in Rastrapati Bhavan last evening. ‘Abhnay Samrat’ or its equivalent was presented to me. This award is run by a charitable trust in the name of the first freedom fighter of India against the British from the Malabar, Kerala region. I am deeply honoured and humbled. My love to you in excess of what you may ever decide to confer on me … Amitabh Bachchan
Feb 20, 2010
DAY 669

Sopaan, New Delhi                  February  19/20, 2010                 Fri/Sat  1 : 08 AM

My dearest FmXt,

I am overwhelmed by the response to yesterday’s post DAY 668. The number as I write has reached almost 800 and counting. This is not a response of a large number of people incensed and angry, it is the response of a large number of my extended family’s show of strength. The strength of togetherness, solidarity and oneness. It is an army of individuals that has without any exception expressed their utter disgust and disgrace towards the article in the Mumbai Mirror. I salute you in your condemnation of the content, this soiled and unworthy piece of garbage, carried. I salute you for the determination you show in not tolerating this kind of debased journalism. I salute you for giving me the endorsement of my will in standing up for the women in the house, even though they are all quite capable of demonstrating their own individual strength. I salute you in recognizing eventually, that my repeated references to the media and their unjustified utterances, were indeed justifiable. I salute you in all humility and deep reverence, for you have been what I had always believed you to be – my true extended family !!

I wish now to expand on what I had left unfinished yesterday and shall need to bring up visually the article again for ease of reference -

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I am taking the liberty of borrowing expressions and words here from those that have responded and say, how could the keepers of the conscience of a nation, the voice of justice and truth, the beacon of integrity, indulge in such an inhumane act, of writing such cruel and wounding lies.

Concocting such lies is utterly unforgivable. How do you Mr Mrs or whatever gender you are, Mumbai Mirror, live after committing such an evil and despicable act. You do not even have the guts to reveal, through a by line who the author of this filth was. Hiding and masquerading under the mask of ‘Mumbai Mirror Bureau’ you have at least been honest enough here in admitting, what the true qualities of your entire set up are – a bunch of scared and cowardly, difficult to call, humans.

Did you ever even pause to think what it means when you invade the privacy of a woman in such a gross manner ? Did you ever realize the insensitivity of bringing to public gaze, false and vicious speculation on the health, fertility and sexuality of a woman, expressed mercilessly on a page you gloriously title as ‘entertainment’ ?

You have like vultures picked unsubstantiated matter for cheap exploitative publicity, which has been beyond any form of abuse. How would you react or feel if your own medical records, or those of your ‘bureau’ inmates, were to be exposed, laced with a load full of invented prurient conditions ?

And what if they were in the category of your own sister, mother or daughter ?

Madam,  Ms Meenal Baghel  Editor of the Mumbai Mirror,

I write to you concerning your article of Thursday the 18th of February: Pregnant Pause – Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

I read its content with disbelief and disgust.


You make a series of allegations in the article, reiterated below as follows:

· Aishwarya Rai Bachchan has contracted tuberculosis of the stomach, a most serious disease

· As a consequence of this disease and its treatment, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is unable to conceive and carry a pregnancy, hence bear a child

· Amitabh Bachchan wishes for a grandson and is therefore gender prejudiced not only in his discrimination against the girl child, but also against women, in particular their right to be considered a primary heir of a family

I refute these allegations as absolutely and categorically false in every detail.

These allegations you base on the following information:

· The opinion of an undisclosed and anonymous intimate friend of the Bachchan family

· The mention of tuberculosis on Day 667 of Amitabh Bachchan’s Blog, that tuberculosis is known as the ‘rich man’s disease’

· There is no stated source of information for the allegation that Amitabh Bachchan wishes for a grandson

I counter the legitimacy of these sources with the charge of slander with malicious intent. The reasons for this are the following:

· The opinion of the undisclosed and anonymous family friend of the Bachchan’s is not substantiated or confirmed. At no point has the Mumbai Mirror contacted the family, directly or indirectly, to query this information and verify its accuracy.

· The mention of tuberculosis on the Blog has been cut and pasted out of context. There was no reference in the said dated blog to anyone in the Bachchan family having any ailment whatsoever in the context in which tuberculosis was mentioned.

This is the full passage from which your allegation was drawn:

‘Getting in the sun, allowing it to play with your senses and taking in the warmth of its affectionate glaze, is a blissful moment that many in the urban metropolises tend to overlook. Or perhaps they never are able to find that open space, that little patch of grass that remains exposed to the elements, begs attention and in a sense, occupation. Our air conditioned and weather protected environs of the home and hearth are insidious. They climatize us for comfort, but destroy us for all else. TB or tuberculosis a once dreaded disease would origin from lack of good care and food and contact from those inflicted with it. It is still a dread in many parts of the world, even in the developed world where substance abuse can be one of the causes of it. But there are moments when even though the affluent world lives in protection and isolation from such bacteria, it has been seen to afflict them as well and is, peculiarly, known as ‘the rich mans TB’. Living in enclosed environments and in conditions where there is lack of the fresh air and the exposure to elements, can bring about an infection too.’

· The lack of a source for the extremely serious allegation of gender discrimination on the part of Amitabh Bachchan. It is wholly unsubstantiated. I am the UN Representative for the Girl Child in India and work hard for its cause. The ‘head’ of my family before me was my late mother. The Bachchan family discusses and acts as a collective of equal individuals of equal value and voice.

The unprofessional and slanderous nature of this article in such an esteemed and respected newspaper as the Mumbai Mirror is deeply disturbing. It brings the author of this article into disrepute. It brings the editor that published this article into disrepute. It brings this particular newspaper into disrepute. It brings the profession of journalism into disrepute. This article is in violation of the journalistic norms of conduct as published by the Press Council of India.

Beyond your own disgrace, you have caused grievous distress and harm to the Bachchan family.

You violate the civil right of Aishwarya Rai Bachchan to privacy. This right to privacy of the individual is implicit in the right to life and liberty guaranteed to the citizen in Article 21 of the Constitution of India. This right, as you well know, is settled by case law. It is a right to safeguard the privacy of her/his own, her/his family, marriage, procreation, motherhood and child-bearing circumstances, among other things, if they bear not upon the genuine overriding public interest. As it is inarguably the case that the aforementioned article in your newspaper has no value to the public interest, it is therefore illegal to publish anything relating to the above matters without the express consent of the individual concerned, regardless of factual verity. You made neither effort to verify the allegations of the article with Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, nor did you seek consent from Aishwarya Rai Bachchan prior to its publication.

Thus the publication of the article is defamatory: it exposes you inter alia to a claim in damages.

I myself claim the right of public response to public allegation. Due to the illicit nature of this slander, I request a retraction and full apology. The full apology comprises

· The names of the individual journalist and chief editor

· The journalist’s and editor’s unqualified retraction and refutation of the contents of the article, specifically the three points outlined in the list of allegations above

· The apology should be addressed to both Aishwarya Rai Bachchan first and specifically, and also to the Bachchan family in general

· The apology is to be printed on the first page of the Entertainment section of the Mumbai Mirror on the same page, in the same size print, and including the signatures of the aforementioned journalist and editor

· An immediate donation of a sum of ( AMOUNT to be decided by members of my Extended Family of the Blog ) to a national charitable foundation of your choosing that supports those who suffer from tuberculosis and an article in your newspaper highlighting its work.

Dearest Extended Family,

Members of my immediate family have in the past few hours spoken to the concerned persons in the organization of the Times Group and they have through voice and mobile short message systems apologized for this insensitivity on their part. My own code of conduct and ethics prevents me from disclosing their names, but let me assure you that they were people who mattered in the Times organization. They have accepted their wrong and the pain it has caused us. They asked us to send a letter to them seeking clarification, assuring us that they would publish it verbatim. I post below a copy of the letter we sent signed by Aishwarya. I also post below what they brought out.

Discerning readers will observe how reduced the size of our clarification is. Note, it is ourclarification, not theirs. And do note that the last few lines of the letter seeking apology have been conveniently deleted in the print.

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Ladies and Gentleman of the extended family jury, I rest my case. I seek justice and I seek your verdict.

With deep anguish and pain … but with the enormity of my love for you ..

Amitabh Bachchan

ps : may i also state that they even made an ‘offer’ to do an interview with Aishwarya or any member of the family, where they said we could say whatever we wanted to and they would print it …

ha ha ha ha ha ha ….

Feb 19, 2010
DAY 668

My dearest and most respected members of my Extended Family,

I write to you today in deep anguish, pain and disgust. I am printing below an article that has been published today in the Mumbai Mirror, a sister tabloid of the ‘prestigious’ Times of India. This article is completely false, completely fabricated, unsubstantiated, insensitive and of the lowest quality of journalism there ever was. My comments shall follow below -

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I am too incensed and angered by the contents above !! Not a single portion of the article is true !! I have much to comment upon on this, but shall hold on till another day. For the moment I have only this to say.

I am the head of my family. Aishwarya is not my daughter – in – law, she is my daughter, a woman, a lady in my house and home. If anyone will speak derogatorily about her, I shall fight for her till my last breath. If you have something to say to the men in the house, Abhishek or me, I shall bear it. BUT .. if you shall make injudicious remarks on the women in my home, I shall not tolerate it !!!

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 18, 2010
DAY 667

February  17 ,  2010                                        Wed  6 : 53 PM

Getting in the sun, allowing it to play with your senses and taking in the warmth of its affectionate glaze, is a blissful moment that many in the urban metropolises tend to overlook. Or perhaps they never are able to find that open space, that little patch of grass that remains exposed to the elements, begs attention and in a sense, occupation. Our air conditioned and weather protected environs of the home and hearth are insidious. They climatize us for comfort, but destroy us for all else. TB or tuberculosis a once dreaded disease would origin from lack of good care and food and contact from those inflicted with it. It is still a dread in many parts of the world, even in the developed world where substance abuse can be one of the causes of it. But there are moments when even though the affluent world lives in protection and isolation from such bacteria, it has been seen to afflict them as well and is, peculiarly, known as ‘the rich mans TB’. Living in enclosed environments and in conditions where there is lack of the fresh air and the exposure to elements, can bring about an infection too.

So, time spent in the sun hopefully will take care of it. Along with of course the vit D that is such a necessity  for us all. The skin bears a lovely tanned hue for some and a flush of health on the cheeks is always a welcome. The pleasure of a book that narrates my Father’s childhood through his auto biography, his philosophies and beliefs is an added joy. His reference to his early years attraction to the arts – singing, painting and other forms that he appreciated, were sadly, as he puts it, never allowed to fructify due to paucity of funds, in learning them. But he quotes the great writer and thinker Emerson and his written piece on the ‘Philosophy of Compensation’ where the writer analyzes that the human through nature, has always been compensated in some form or the other, when deprived of some form not accessible to him or her. He could not learn to play an instrument, or learn to paint, but was compensated by the natural gift of being able to write. Compensation enough, for him, he concludes.

It worked for my Father. But does it really work for all of us ? Do we get compensated in life ? Ever ? We live in the world of poetic justice do we not. We, meaning those connected with cinema. For, cinema in any form must necessarily have closure in poetic justice, else it would be such a waste of film, time and effort. The bad will be overcome by the good. Evil shall never prevail. Goodness shall be lauded and acknowledged. But in life are there occasions when this would reveal itself in its true form ? Would we call it compensation if it were to happen ? Intriguing. How does the common man get compensated. Or the poor for that matter.

Would it be fair to say that even though he is deprived of the most common elements of survival, he is fortified by all the other embodiments that the not so poor encounter ? And if he were to accept that would he ever not wish, that his poverty be traded for the ‘embodiments ‘ that he may have to face ? Hmm … thought provoking !!

Rain today at Kolkata has perhaps robbed India of winning the test match against the South Africans and reestablishing their No 1 slot in World Cricket. If this were to, hopefully not, happen. How would we seek compensation for our team ? Ha .. the debate continues and the wildest of examples keep falling on to my plate. Better not get there, or I would be wallowing in self pity, or in acknowledgement of self praise. I am in no condition for either. Some one from the FmXt sent me a YouTube link to an old FilmFare Award ceremony, where I have received a best actor in 1991 and I mention in my speech of having received a achievement Award the previous year for my contribution to cinema and whether that was given to me because it was felt that I had done enough and must stop. An abusive comment from a gentleman a few days ago on the blog, admonished me for continuing to work even though I was a ‘budhha’ and that I was becoming a pain in his ‘you know what’ with the kind of work I was doing, which was nothing short of being useless ! In March the Muscat International Film Festival and the Hong Kong International Asian Film Festival honor me with LifeTime Achievement Awards. Are these then portents indicative of a termination of my profession and work ? The compensation here would be, what  - ” You’ve been at it for so long, be happy with what you have and stop ” ..

It has been a long wait. There has been no work that I have accepted since mid of last year, other than a short stint for TV. I must get back to the studios and mingle with creativity, expose my inner feelings through fantasized characters, rub the paint of make belief on to others. My greatest tests for performances have been restricted to defensive TV interviews, or exclamatory glorifications of forthcoming productions. If I do not, I shall be buried under the debris of unmitigated self pity, or worse, its opposite !

‘Enough no more , ’tis not so sweet as it was before …’

FmXt member said I write too much, too long, keep it short …

ok ..

Amitabh Bachchan, in love for all

Feb 17, 2010
DAY 666

February  16, 2010                    Tue  7 : 53 PM

In the wilds of my beautiful country

The sound of silence is the loudest when you are not sure it exists. It pierces through the ears like a sharp arrow, numbing your thoughts into a forgetful journey that takes you no where. Its a state one has often wanted to be in and when it comes along suddenly, it surprises you completely, consuming you of all energy and action. Converting one into an idle mind.

One has desired this for long. For long have I said to myself that invigoration to the mind can only come when we are kept distant from sundry and everyday thought. I find myself in such a state. Oblivious of surroundings and location, away from civilization, away from mobile phones and any connection other than what reprints here within the post.

Sublime …!!!

Last night’s function at CNN-IBN haunts me still. The conviction and strength of those that have dared to fight for their right, for justice, for level playing ground. These men and women who have dared to expose not only those that sit in power or position, but themselves as well. They who have dared to fight, winning some losing some but never giving up. They who have all risen from meagre means and become the voice of an entire nation. They need to be saluted.

A man who has lost his legs in a train accident and has taken it upon himself to demonstrate not just the courage of survival, but finding artificial limbs now working on telling the system what they need to do for such accidents to be avoided and such victims to be given better treatment and assistance. A wheel chaired man, who dares to walk on his haunches because he is now crippled thus, convinced that he will write the best poetry ever and challenges that he will win. The lady sold to pimps in prostitution, who dares to escape and not just live but finds an opportunity to catch the individual that put her in that degrading and despicable world and hand them over to the police. A Father that still fights the system in finding out and punishing those that took his son away and killed him, but still not succeeding. A bureaucrat though maligned by the common man for corruption, that continues to execute his duty towards society by caring for those that are of lesser means and building accommodation for them. A young school girl of 13 that questions the fee  asked from her school for those that are supposed to get free education, and that has through her own initiative pulled away children her age and lesser from child labor and put them into institutions to educate them. A journalist that is determined to expose an entire clan of people that threaten him with violence. That 90 year old freedom fighter, an old lady that has been fighting now for years to receive her due pension and not giving up …

The tales carry on ..

I am moved by their plight. Particularly that of the 90 year old lady and have announced that I shall take care of her pension for the next 5 years. She blesses me. She has only that element of humanity left in her. She can barely walk. And she is old. And all she wants is her due – her pension – Rs 3,500 /- per month from the Government !!

You feel so small in front of such examples of exceptional quality. And you wonder sometimes at how blessed we ought to feel for all the care and goodness bestowed upon us by the Almighty. When I compare myself with these exceptional men and women, their conditions and their grit, I feel ashamed at myself and embarrassed. I am also hugely impressed at the intent and value of these countrymen, their determination and will to fight against all odds with little care for its consequences on them personally. This is the true Indian. They are the pride of our nation. We are nothing compared to them. It is they that make this nation what it is.

I must end with my observations on our blog. I notice now how deeply interested the media is becoming of our little inconsequential world. The media that meets me for promotional activity of the upcoming films barely asks anything about the film or its promotions. They ask about current situations, they dissect the writings on the blog, study each word and expression, derive their own assumptions and convert them into stories of immense proportions. I feel honored that they do this. I never realized that our little world of the FmXt would become so important to those that rule the world of communication, that it would reduce them to giving us so much importance. Its another matter that they bark up the wrong tree and build bridges over rivers where rivers never existed. But we need to be in celebration of this attention. We are now important bloggers and respondents. I am proud of our extended family. We are being noticed and discussed. Well done !!

The silence pierces again … it is time to give it its due ..

And time to give due as well .. my love

image

Feb 16, 2010
DAY 665

Sopaan, New Delhi                               February  15,  2010                          Mon  11 : 52 PM


It is the 80 th birthday of my Mother in law, Jaya’s Mother. She is in Bhopal and the entire family is with her to wish her health and prosperity and happiness for this auspicious day.

It is the15th of February and 41 years ago on this day a young man called Amitabh Bachchan walked into the office of Khwaja Ahmad Abbas, to sign his very first film, Saat Hindustani. The year was 1969.

It is the day in New Delhi for the CNN-IBN Citizen Journalist Awards, where citizens have through their own guts and strengths and beliefs, taken on a system, a governance or a moral and social ailment and stood out strong in what they felt was unjust.

It has been an evening of sensitive emotion, one that has made us all look small and insignificant. For, in the presence of the winners and in the company of their stories of valor, I have looked like a small minuscule drop in the vast ocean.

They are people that are commonly known as the common man, but their achievements have been far from common. They are the people from the small towns and villages. They are simple and vulnerable, naive and unaffected by urban deficiencies, but their spirit has been remarkable to watch and hear about.

I would do injustice to them and to their achievements, were I to spend time in describing them and their brave lives, in this short and limited space called the blog. So I would ideally like to be left at least for the night to ponder and think what best it would be to describe the moment and more, to write about them. I constructed a speech though, but in the face of all that transpired it is a poor representation of what I would have wanted to say. Let me then keep all of that for another day and leave you with a insipid reproduction of my speech -

CNN-IBN Citizen Journalism Awards February 2010

With due respect to Mark Antony and the speech he made at the senate in Shakespeare’s Julius Ceasar, I implore -

Friends, Indians, countrymen and women; a good evening to all of you.

To merit the honour bestowed upon me here tonight, I come to praise.

To merit the honour bestowed upon others here tonight, I come to praise.

I praise the valour and intelligence of our citizen journalists of India; I praise the virtue of our professional news media, here epitomised by CNN-IBN, who have demonstrated the imaginative foresight to embrace change, to cultivate the nascent seed of citizen journalism so that it may flourish, bloom and bear its fruit ofcivic culture.

I praise the opportunity provided by this awards ceremony here tonight to so commend, honour, celebrate.

I praise all gathered here on this occasion, and the greater public beyond, who have put aside their individual busy cares to attend upon our collective.

And may we not, in such multitude of praise, dissimulate its generosity. May we forget our often resentful habit to deny ourselves the public acknowledgement of individual merit. May we restrain that familiar suspicion of temperament wherein one praised, one singled out above another, intuitively offends a debased equality of sameness. Conversely, may we not begin to differ in an instant who should deservemore or less; who has been excluded; who has been slighted; how we might jostle ourselves forward for better individual preference.

May we look beyond, for the most worthy praise is due to the merit of our very collective, our union in a civic culture, our vow of mutual cultivation that we pledge to each other in this greatest gathering of democracy on Earth.

It is through us all that our liberty, equality and fraternity are perpetually re-born.

For each iota of our body politic is one citizen. Each citizen is at once its heart, its head, its muscle, its stomach of courage.

To be a citizen is to possess the rights enshrined in our constitution, and equally, the obligation of duty. When one citizen upholds an individual right for another, they enact their duty to themselves. When one citizen fulfills their duty to others, that citizen upholds their own rights again. One citizen’s duty is another’s right; another citizen’s right is the other’s duty.

This is the essence of our collective necessity for vigilance. To be eternally vigilant, that is liberty’s strenuous price.

Here today as we celebrate the citizen journalist, so we enjoy the embodiment of such civic virtue.

These individuals amongst us possess the native intelligence to think for themselves, the will to inform themselves accordingly, a higher justice beyond immediate self-interest, the heroic valour to act, and abelief in the possibility of change.

Friends, Indians, countrymen and women, lend me your ears.

Let us not praise those we honour here tonight with mere words.

Let us praise better with more than a word: true praise is to be inspired to emulate them.

To be a citizen journalist is to be the spirit, letter and action of a citizen in a democracy. True citizenship is truly at once a ‘state of mind’ and a ‘way of life’. Let us not squander the heroism of those honoured here tonight. Let their example not merely shame us when we retract separate into divisive weakness, butfortify and quicken us all to our duty.

If we do love our country, if we are proud of our new strength, if we wish to strive for better for our children and future generations, and fulfill the destiny of our great civilisation, so we must all become citizen journalists. Each and every one of us.

We have now reached a threshold in our history where we may pause, reflect, and feel the exhilaration of great achievement, a mass participation in great achievement. Our country flourishes. We should feel good about ourselves. At last, we are strong, confident, vibrant of energy, with our own voice. We stand on the threshold of taking our place amongst the most mighty of players on the world stage and no longer shall we feel inferiority shrink our stature, but with strength and pride level our gaze to theirs.

This new-found strength, this brave new world of ours, is reflected in the global information revolution brought about by a deluge of technological invention. The consequent explosion of access to a dizzying array of media in our country is seismic in its historical moment.

But may we yet remember in the face of such technological marvel, that as human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world. Our true greatness lies in our ability to remake ourselves.

Through the information revolution, individual citizens are empowered; the news media become more inclusive of audiences. This increasing interaction enriches both parties.

Indeed, it is an unmitigated delight that the balance of power between the individual and the mediacorporation can be redressed.

After all, authority must be perpetually contested and negotiated if it is to remain uncorrupted, and for that matter, authoritative.

However, how far do we want to take this?

If one looks at the cost-benefit analysis of blogs versus newspapers, prospects for the professional news media look grim.

With the future withering of traditional news institutions, who could be trusted, who would be heldaccountable, to gather accurate information?

With infinite access to infinite information, how will we search out voices that will inform us amidst the cacophony?

With this same embarrassment of riches, how can we discriminate between one opinion and another?

If we don’t have the information, how are we to know how to be a good citizen? For instance, how could we tell in good conscience for whom we might want to vote?

If we don’t have the information, isn’t this a serious threat to our representative democracy?

Or have I spoken too late? Have we reached that future already? Is there anyone out there whom I trust enough to tell me?

That is the point. The point is the failure of trust.

The point is that there must be a point to having a profession.

The idea of having a profession is that one specialises in it, investing years of one’s life and copious energies pursuing its specific knowledge and discipline.

The reason for specialisation is because individually, separately, we all cannot do everything.

We need our professionals. We need our professional journalists.

Professional journalism is a moral calling and a moral good in a society.

For a democracy, the practice of professional journalism is not merely a good, but a crucial necessity.

For a democracy is only as good as its public: a well-educated and informed public will elect good government, obey just laws, create a strong economy and enjoy better health and happiness.

Thus, the central, most basic and critical role of the professional journalist and news corporation in a democracy is to inform. To educate.

It is to give us news. News is neither mere information, nor mere opinion. It is information with responsible and knowledgeable critical analysis.

This is their first duty.

Thus they have a duty to follow a professional code of ethics.

Thus they have a duty to provide the public with reliable and accurate information.

Thus they have a duty to double-source facts; to thoroughly investigate material for the possibility of error, bias, prejudice, slander and its various vicious mischiefs.

Thus they have a duty of responsible, reasoned, transparent judgement, not mere opinion.

They have a duty of a balanced negotiation of differing viewpoints, of offering their audience more thanpauperised substitutions: infotainment; hyped-up dumbed down scooped out frivolous conjecture; cheap hackneyed language and the promotion of proud ignorance; saccharine emotionalism; hysterical rumour-mongering; cynical misrepresentation; blind partisanship; shallow punditry; gimmick posturing; obssessive self-referentiality; media personality; and the promotion of garbage celebrity.

The media corporation as a whole is equally duty-bound by an ethical code, a code intolerant to those amongst its ranks who engage in the cynical practice of profit masqueraded as news outfits.

Responsible journalism is accountable journalism; responsible news corporations are accountablecorporations: they must be held accountable to the public. Like other professionals and their corporate bodies, if they transgress their own code of ethics, then their professional distinction is forfeit.

I believe in the professional journalists and professional news corporations of India. These standards of which I speak are no distant ideal, even when a certain minority of the profession no longer pay even the most casual lip-service to any ethical code whatsoever. For there are many out there, devoted and courageous, who do practice their profession faithfully, strenuously, courageously, imbued with its noble calling. These individuals deserve the greatest respect and honour amongst us.

But what of the public?

It is a misconception to think that the public, up until now, have been passive recipients of the Media. They have simply not had a voice to respond, or it has been too muted to hear.

It is time that the professional journalist, and the news corporation as a whole, re-examined its attitude towards the public. The public of our nation deserve to be treated as intelligent and enquiring agents, an experienced audience, who will not forever suffer us fools gladly.

They too deserve to be trusted.

But acknowledging the crucial significance of citizen journalism is at best a modest redress. It is just a beginning. It is not enough. After all, it could be argued that the rise of citizen journalism is preciselybecause of the public’s perception that its professional news media fail them. It could also be argued that some within the professional news media cynically acknowledge citizen journalism in order to undermine its power; disingenuously embrace citizen journalism in order to dissimulate its threat; lavish such praise and award upon citizen journalism as to kill it smilingly.

However remarkable a phenomenon the rise of citizen journalism is, it must not to be exploited to disguise the central problem that faces us.

That problem is the general failure of public trust in the mainstream Media. It is one of the greatest threats to our representative democracy.

If this trust further fails, then our professional news corporations will wither; the public will look elsewhere.

We will be faced, individually and separately, with the task of sifting through undifferentiated noise to search out reliable information.

No longer exposed to a multiplicity of viewpoints within one media entity, we will become narrow of mind, lazy of opinion, fearful of others.

Is that what we all want?

Trust, by its very nature, is informal.

‘Liberté; Egalité; Fraternité’: this was the clarion call of the French Revolution, the birth of representative democracy in the modern world.

You can legislate liberty. You can legislate equality. But you cannot legislate fraternity.

It is fraternity that bonds us with that informal tie of trust.

Fraternity. Comraderie. Fellowship. Brotherhood. Or, in preferable gender-neutral words, a collective sense of friendship.

Friendship exists between free and equal parties. Friendship commands the mutual respect for the other, a tolerance of and generosity towards difference, including that of opinion. It embodies balance and compromise. Its means: patience, and calm rational persuasion. That is fraternity. This is civilisation. It is strenuous and most deadly serious in nature. It deserves more weight in our civic culture, and in our culture as a whole.

So I urge fraternity and its compassions. I urge us all to reinvigorate our trust in each other.

In the spirit of this evening’s awards, we must seize the moment.

Here we may pause, but may that pause be brief, for

‘There is a tide in the affairs of men

Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

On such a full sea are we now afloat

And we must take the current when it serves,

Or lose our ventures.’

Friends, Indians, countrymen and women, citizen journalists all, lend me your ears.

Citizenship, being a citizen of India, is not a mere political utility or rational foil. It is our true vow.

This vow is wherein our very liberty and equality resides.

This vow is our fraternity, our most basic trust, our friendship with one another.

This vow brings our hearts to oneness as a nation in hope.

This vow is our greatest future.

United in this vow, we will prosper and flourish.

But if we choose to betray our oath, divided and mistrustful, we will squander the vast wealth of human knowledge in our new technological age, sinking in its turbulent chaos. We will squander one of the greatest cultural legacies the world has ever known and fall to our individual and lonely miseries of povertyand ignorance.

Or we can harness it potential, to truly empower our body politic and remake ourselves anew.

As we stand on this threshold of change, we have a seeming infinity of channels before us. With this privilege of multiplicity of choice, with whatever individual preference we hold, may we choose hopefully. And may the institutions that provide this wealth of choice give us dignity, and honour the greatest gift of humanity,our spirit of intelligent enquiry.

Don’t switch off the TV controls, not just yet. Keep watching.

Friends, Indians, countrymen and women

Steel your own hearts to your vow.

Jai Hind; jai Bharat.

With love from a cloud laden city, with the occasional drops of rain, only to signify that despite the fogged atmosphere and the tears of rain .. there can never be any weather condition that would deter me or my thoughts to come across to you through the bright morning sun in the new day …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 15, 2010
DAY 664

Prateeksha, Mumbai                         February  14, 2010                          Sun  11 : 45 PM


Lakshmi and Neel, two avid fans of mine and perhaps the longest standing, sent me a story which I thought needed to be shared with all -

The Mayonnaise Jar


When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else –The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first –
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

Please share this with other “Golf Balls”
I just did……

Sharing ! That oft repeated term in our existence,  seldom put out to practice. Sharing ! The joy of giving to another without question and cause. Sharing ! That elusive act that demarcates the ultimate sacrifice for the other. When you share the ‘other’ ceases to be the ‘other’, it becomes your own. It becomes my possession and pride. When you give me something of yours, the ‘y’ disappears ; it becomes ours. From singular to plural. We multiply when we give – happiness, joy, achievement, good will. We decimate and diminish when we share sorrow. We still share. Only our mode and cause changes. I want to share my happiness with you, my ‘golf balls’. But I hesitate to share my sorrows and pain. I find it selfish and opportunity ridden. I would include you in joy, but my pain must remain mine, even though I propagate that it would diminish if shared.

On occasion when I have demonstrated anguish and anger and discomfort, the immediate concern from the FmXt has been most reassuring and welcome. It felt as though my pain was being felt by others. That, I abhor and dislike. I cannot and should not become the reason for another’s discomfort. And if I do and have, then it is time for redressal and retribution.

May there never be a situation where I could have given reason for such behavior.

Many have inquired after Aishwarya’s health. Thank you. She repairs well and even though there are some remnants of the ailment persisting, she has decidedly improved in her condition. We have all been with her and by her side. Abhishek has come away from his shootings and I have come away from my incessant TV interviews on Teen Patti. It has been restful and relaxing catching up on news and films and serials not seen.

Feb 15, 2010    Mon 4 : 51 AM

So relaxing that in my enthusiasm i have completely forgotten to post the post from private to public.

And i have no idea how in the middle of the night I have discovered in my dream that I have not done so and am up to do just that ..

love you..

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 14, 2010
DAY 663

Prateeksha, Mumbai                  February  13,  2010                 Sat  10 : 23 PM


CORRECTION..CORRECTION…CORRECTION…

Vishnu Sharma from News 24 informs me early in the morning just now Feb 14, through sms that it was on March 23, 1931 that the three freedom fighters were hanged in Lahore, and not as mentioned below.

My apologies therefore in this wrong information and thank you Vishnu Sharma for this correction. The one below was sent to me by an enthusiastic fan. Guess he was wrong . Though I must be with him in the sentiment he expresses – our diminishing respect for our real heroes !!

And just as I make this correction another terrorist attack in Pune ! Several dead and more injured. When will all this mindless violence end. Will we ever resolve this ? Our hearts and prayers for those who suffer !!


On this day 13th of February 1931 in the early hours of the morning, three legendary Freedom fighters Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev were hung to death by the British.
No one remembers this day, for the heroic sacrifices that these brave and committed sons of the soil made for the independence of their Motherland.
All we read is about Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day …
Every day is for love and respect for your Father and your Mother …
But what of the respect and love for those that gave up their lives so we could breathe the air of freedom …

“ Not all fingers are the same in length. But when they are bent they all stand equal. Life becomes easy when we bend and adjust to situations. “

“ The ultimate truth of life is that – success always kisses you in private, but failure always kicks you in public. “

“ Stone breaks the head, but water breaks the stone. Anger suppresses your enemy, but forgiveness destroys the enmity. “

R Balki, my director for ‘Cheeni Kum’ and ‘Paa’ sends me an sms this afternoon -

‘You are sounding v v angry in ur blog. And acknowledging irrelevant people Amitji. Your soul writing deserves better subjects.’

My soul writing deserves better subjects ! Acknowledging irrelevant people ! Aaahhh ! My writings have never been writings in the first place. They are musings, uninteresting mumblings that take over a certain space in my daily routine. Balki gives me far too much credit for them. And I have never considered anyone to be irrelevant. For me they are all equal and relevant. Anger I do not contribute to and is a factor that has remained alien to me. What is irrelevant is the error in assuming that what is seen and heard and enacted on screen, should also be practiced in real as well. What is assumed is that if celebrity and status has been thrust upon you it must be emulated as well according to the somewhat misplaced illusions of those that merge the two. No we are incapable of doing that. We are not activists, we are actors. We will not be able to demolish a band of 12 single handedly and neither shall we be in position to win over a satin clad miss stumbling over snow capped mountains fortified with a song on our lips. Reel and real shall remain apart for me at least, for most parts. What may seem as anger is my desire to explain this important factor. Is my desire to explain that at 68, with loads of years of experience in matters that concern many in todays climes, it is important to understand a bit of history. It is important to understand a bit of the past. And most importantly to visualize a bit of the future. Circumstances may seem universal for all at a moment of intense reaction. But they never are equal for all. Emotions run high, agreed. But who abetted and provoked them. Who used them for personal gain and benefit. Were they at all involved parties. Analyze this  dispassionately, and more with restrain and able judgement before reaching conclusion. Understand the reason and motive of this game. Those that play it do so after great study and preparation. We are gullible and innocent victims of a plot that many will never be able to see in the rush of immediate blood.

Today is not the end that you may consider to be over and won. It is the beginning of much deeper and dangerous portents. Bravado is a good attribute to possess, misguided bravado is not.

Unless of course one wishes to play this game. Then all is valid. Then my stand is wrong. Then I am to blame. Then must I take back my words and submit to error. No harm in that. We all make mistakes and submitting to it does not make one any smaller. But entering this arena is not my cup of warm water, since I do not drink tea ! I have my reasons and stay away. But does anyone wonder why and how there is an incessant drive for an inclusion by others towards me, despite repeated denials. Has anyone ever wondered why the butt of every accusation eventually comes and rests on my back. Think about it, for there is cause. My ethics may never ever allow me to indulge them, but suffice to say that all that is seen and heard and spoken of, has a flip side to it too. In life it is wise to be aware of both. The perspective changes, or at least allows one to consider the change.

I can well understand that without sufficient elaboration the above may seem an illusion, a lot of defensive balderdash. No it is not. On the contrary it is really quite revealing. The point is, does one want to indulge in this pettiness or ride above it. Bear the cross of indignation and abuse and move on. The idealist in me would want to opt for the latter, but I must admit that the ‘player to the gallery’ in me wishes the other ; because it is more dramatic.

Ha ! I am reminded of a sequence in my film Shahenshah – the last court room scene. I had wished to do it differently. I wanted to argue my matter with a certain gentle yet punctuated finesse, and I did so. After the take was over, Tinnu Anand my director felt it lacked something. I said fine I shall do another one. This time I was loud and over the top and overtly dramatic. When I concluded the entire unit and the junior artists all clapped. Tinnu said this is what he wanted to keep and did so. To be subtle you need to understand subtlety. Maybe not everyone has that quality. A famous writer once told me, when in a courtroom drama, it does not matter what you say, so long as you say it loud enough. Study any film and you shall find, it hardly matters what is being said in the court. It is how dramatically you say it that has always mattered.

I believe in life too similar sentiments exist. The soft spoken gentle voice of reason invariably gets submerged in the loud and meaningless drone of volume. The pity is that decibels find support and attention, the other, not. Eventually reason will prevail, but most of the time it is far too late. So what does one do ?

I believe that considered balance is what we all need. A balance that has a healthy mix of both reason and volume. Difficult to achieve, but not unsurmountable. Reason shall always wear that ugly wrapping of defensiveness. Initially. A sign of shame and weakness. But, as you pursue the path of determined alternative, all else settles down.

One must possess that dignified quality of patience. Haste has never had support and is one that is difficult to achieve.

I am trying too … and trying hard …

In my love for you, however, I shall always stick to the exact opposite … no holding back here .. there is always haste in expressing it …

Love you love you love you ….

Amitabh Bachchan


Feb 13, 2010
DAY 662

Prateeksha, Mumbai                       February  12,  2010                     Fri  11 : 44 PM

Mahashivratri … and all our prayers and good wishes for all. May Lord Shiv in his benevolence shower upon us peace and harmony and the will to bear with forthright pride, all that is negative and unwanted … OM NAMAH SHIVAYA  !!!

To those that send their concern for Aishwarya, sincere thanks. She had a restful day and there seems to be a slight improvement in her condition. The swelling inside the mouth below the tonsil is not tonsillitis as was presumed. It is something else and that is worrying. When you cannot swallow water even, it is more worrying. But today the anti biotics seem to be working and there is some relief. The infection abates. The rash and swelling on the face reduces. She has been able to take in some liquids, but her speech is still labored.

To those that showed allegiance to my words of anger at the concerned lady, I am grateful that you understand the condition of the head of a family when a medical emergency takes place. Those are anxious moments. Just when you are in the middle of providing relief and summoning the doctor and generally in the midst of worry and anxiety for your child, and you are pestered by repeated sms’s from a journalist only interested in her function and her needs, you will explode. I was still civil about it and at least responded. Many would have simply ignored the call. No one wants to appreciate that. Some in the FmXt actually sympathized with the journo.. good for you.. this is a free platform and one that invites all kinds of comment. But you must understand, any sickness in the family disturbs me no end. I cannot bear to see it and yes, I do get edgy. So what ? And for those who wish to know of the final outcome – we did send Abhishek to collect the award and represent her on stage and make a speech, and he got a standing ovation for it ! And yes, I am going to talk about my family in this blog and yes I am going to praise my film and promote it. And yes, if there are some, that I read, have objections to this practice, they are not obliged to read it. This is my blog. I write what I feel I need to write. Which law states that I have to comment on every and each incident that takes place in every corner of the universe.

The internet is a faceless wonder. It forms a remarkable shield for those that wish to voice and not be known. Fair enough. It is easy to stand behind protective walls and throw all the garbage you possibly can on the other side – you would never have to clean up the mess and more, no one would ever come to know who threw it. But come on the other side of the wall and live our lives. Wear our shoes. Walk on fires and brave the arrows strung against us. Today you may talk of one issue, one incident. Today you may have an opinion which you may cast. Today it would not matter whether the opinion remained valid or not. But what of tomorrow. Can you predict or give assurance that your sublime opinion would stand the test of time and be valid at every turn of events, or would you have discarded the shoes that we had urged you to wear, claiming that they no longer fitted you !! Ladies and gentlemen we are no fools. We live and exist in this world and have existed with pride and dignity all throughout. Had there been the slightest blemish we would have been punished a hundred fold. Had there been the slightest blemish we would not have been around. So …

To those then, that are ignorant and ill informed, use restrain and pull in the reins of your galloping imaginations and conjectures. Suppositions and presumptions can enlighten you for a momentary conviction or even lame judgement, but they are limp and weak and insecure. When smashed to the ground they break into pieces that can never be put together again. Do not ever compel anyone in any situation to demolish any ‘tions’ to the ground. Your worth and your credibility shall be devoured by the vastness of the earth that you walk upon !!

In Bengali there is a famous saying – Joto dosh ! Nando Ghosh ! For every fault for every error, its always Mr Nando Ghosh. Its a sarcasm on life and the way some of us allow it to function. The skill lies in how best to pass the buck on to that one vulnerable person. Peg all on him or her, build the circumstances, and then dig his or her grave and bury them. But caution ! Bury him yes but never completely. String the coffin down, but avoid the earth from being thrown in. You may need to pull it out again to plug another accusation over it. Do another Nando Ghosh !! Covenient is it not ? Where to go now searching for another Mr Ghosh ? Nando is good enough. Already castigated and convicted. It will be easier to stick it to him. He has lost his voice in any case ; drowned as he is in the cacophony of lies and disbelief. Put it all over this sucker !! It shall be more believable and convincing. Up you come Mr Ghosh, thank you, and now back down there where we pulled you up from, in the dark dungeon where you were laid and from where you shall never be heard !!

I acknowledge those that stay with me in thought and belief. That show affection even in despair and despondency. I acknowledge them for their sincerity and faith. And I care less for the accusation, that this platform is but a forum of ‘sycophantic pandering, built up of wide eyed and hapless NRI’s’ as has been expressed harshly by a responsible member from an irresponsible tabloid. From the day this communication started there have been deliberate and concerted efforts to scuttle destroy and malign our page, our post, our little inconsequential world. I have out of shear disdain for them never mentioned it ever to the FmXt. But I want to now. And I want you to know that I have remained silent with the hope that better sense shall prevail and that, what is most important in life is the fact, that there is nothing more valuable than peace and harmony. But ‘beware the fury of a silent man’. Regard him with care and caution. If you shall have the temerity to cast a finger over me, I shall overcast you with five more ! So help me God !!

It is Pran saheb’s 90th birthday today ! There is a small gathering of his friends and family at the Royal China in Bandra. 90 years for this most endearing character actor of Hindi cinema, this humble man who etched his position as the most feared villain in Hindi Cinema and then when he changed to playing sympathetic roles the world accepted him with the same ease that they had despised his characters he played as a villain.  A remarkable career graph. A quiet disciplined senior colleague. Never late on set despite the intricate and cumbersome make up he had to do on almost all his films. Indeed he used to be, embarrassingly for us, the very first on set. Non interfering, diligent, never a harsh word or comment for anyone. Just quite the opposite of every character he portrayed on screen. 90 years today ! And his children and grandchildren and great grand children invite a few of us to celebrate this momentous occasion. And as I walk in I am numbed to see the warmth of his gracious smile, the embrace and the gentle whisper in the ear – ‘aap ne hamari izzat rakh li !’ , thank you for securing my dignity. Its a very common phrase used by all hosts when they invite someone to their home. Accepting an invitation is akin to acknowledging the dignity of the host – something most honored and respected in our cultural ethos. For in our culture and in our social and moral epics -‘ athiti devo bhava ‘, the guest in our land in our home is respected like a devta, a God !

And as I stand back away from him and urge him to remain seated, I pay my reverence to two other greats, one of them my idol. Dilip Kumar and Shammi Kapoor.

Age has now withered them and time and illness have wheel chaired them. But not their spirit. That remains bright and ebullient. They clink their peg of whiskey and seek permission from those around as they gently devour the first sip, another rare custom among most elders. I had noticed it among royalty on many an occasion, particularly during one of my visits to Nepal when I had the privilege to be in the company of the King and his family in Kathmandu, during an informal evening get together. Before consumption they sought the customary respect from the Queen Mother who was present there as well.

What a moment as you see these three stalwarts of cinema, sitting and laughing together, reminiscing old times I am certain and perhaps recollecting the many films they did together. The one common factor for them, being Pran.

Apart from his children and grandchildren, I am perhaps the youngest at the evening and I wonder what the younger generation of today would keep with them of the times and the films these icons were attached to. The contribution made, the examples set for us to follow and marvel at. And I wonder. It shall not be too long before I too shall be in similar state.

Lost in age, withered and forgotten !

Life is delightful and shamelessly harsh too. To life then, to the joy of it and to its fulfillment .. with love ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 12, 2010
DAY 661

Prateeksha, Mumbai                    February  11/12, 2010                       Thu/Fri  12 : 35 AM

More media today for the promotion of Teen Patti, more questions of the same consequence. Story, why role, lady director, Sir Ben Kingsley, gambling, where do you get energy from, why do you not retire, what do you think of Abhishek and his Tv debut and finally … can we have a picture with you !!

Some are honored, some ecstatic, some have older folks at home that talk of old times and require autographs, some complain of insufficient time, some on the malfunction of their recording machine but all end up very softly for that ID byte for their station or channel … that is the moment of greatest excitement for them and the broadest smiles. And I always oblige. Never refuse a journalist, so says another journalist, always respond even it is to say no. How immensely prosaic the unity and trust among the fraternity of the fourth estate. Scratch a journalist in Manali and the one in Timbucktoo shall wallop you. Envious, this trait. But what deep study in professional trust and demeanor. Impregnable, and impossible to destroy. Strong and faithful to the code and conduct. Glorious.

By the evening of course events change. Aishwarya has come back from the shoot in pain and distress. Doctors called, investigation done and medication registered to settle issues down, but it persists. There is high fever and an infection in the throat, cannot talk, cannot swallow. Sad and so concerned to see her in such a condition. Abhishek has been summoned from his shoot as Jaya and I attend to her.

Out of sheer concern for her commitments she wishes me to inform Kaveree Bamzai of India Today that she shall be unable to attend their function here in Mumbai, where she was to be awarded and asked to make a speech. I do.

Oh! God, Mr Bachchan what is going to happen to my show tomorrow. I will be finished.

Sorry Maam, she is in bad shape I am with the doctors, and I need to be with them, just thought it right to let you know well in advance that there is a situation. Thank you.

Moments later an sms – Could she not make it for just some time, please.

No ! I am sorry she is bed ridden.

After a while, another sms – Can you not come instead of her, to save face.

No, Maam I have other function commitments, it will not be possible.

A few minutes later – Can you not get either Mrs Bachchan or Abhishek to come and attend.

Kaveree …!! I find it extremely insensitive on your part that you pursue putting up requests for participation in your program knowing that there is a medical emergency in the house.. I am sorry I expected better from you  !!

Not a word from the concerned lady on what the condition of Aishwarya is, or what ails her or how she is doing, nothing ! Its all about what is going to happen to her and her program, her problem, her panic situation, her face, her event. And Aishwarya be damned.

Guaranteed now, that there shall be negative stories in her magazine in her reviews, in her channel Headlines Today, to show her anger at the insolence of this old man of 68 who dares to express himself in this, his blog, in writing on this topic and her name. So .. sensitive to your own name fine ; insensitive to the others name and condition .. their prerogative !!

Our right and our name, our will and our desire, our preferences and modes of conduct, our actions and our acts, our deliberations, our needs, our sentiments, our likes and dislikes …

Not ours !!

They belong to others. We have no right. And don’t you dare ask for it. Just shut up Mr B and enjoy the profiling that we give you through our services. Be content that even that is forth coming. Follow our code or perish. We made you, we will destroy you.

There is no voice. There is no stand. Our voice must be the voice dictated to us, our stand a infirm crutch, ready to be snatched away at the whim and fancy of the enlightened. We shall be singular. We shall be alone. We shall suffer and learn to smile through it. Abuse and indignation shall be warmly welcomed through folded hands and if possible , feet. Express to yourself in the silence of your own private solitude. Dare you speak out your mind !! Dare !!

The only purity … Shanouk, my pet, my Pirana Dane, oblivious to all around him, sniffing his affection inches away from your face, snuggling his uncontrollably large frame along yours, alert at the whiff of any strange sound or intrusion, up and about to investigate personally where and how the danger lurks, a few warning barks, a few grunts of dissatisfaction and back to secure pastures at the feet of the master. Truer friend and companion there never was. Thank you Shanouk, for being there in the strength of your immense body and the sincerity of your drooping eyes, the rolls of pristine and soft skin and at times the affectionate saliva that drools all over  our freshly washed clothing. It is a wonder that you do not talk, yet how well you understand. It is a wonder that you show concern and guard, without being asked to. It is a wonder that you obey and follow and perform on instruction.

Nobody does this Shanouk .. no one !! What you do no one else does that ! Are you aware of this ?You should be .. but you never express that you do. How does one describe you. You must be exceptional to all. Such a blessing that you are who you are … AND NOT A HUMAN !!

It is the love that a pet expresses that brings us emotion .. and all for what .. that we are able to give him his meal on time ???

Thats it ??

Lovely Shanouk … lovely FmXt … your emotions can never be challenged !!

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 11, 2010
DAY 660

Prateeksha, Mumbai                         February  10, 2010                       Wed/ Thu  12 : 41 AM

Sometimes an irrelevant talk or thought sparks memories that influence an enormous amount of nostalgia. And it does not take long to reminisce all that had transpired during the times and days of yore. They were little things, things that would never have any relevance in todays world. In fact they would be ridiculed and laughed at. But when you live those years again in today’s times they bring back such vivid and exciting memories.

The talk of home and its surroundings, of the people that came, of the activities we were all involved in. Of habits and customs, of the food and the culture. Of times of strife and struggle and the simple manner in which we dealt with them. So fresh in our minds.

The excessive summer months of Allahabad and the manner in which we spent them tending to so many things. Unlike most children of today’s world we never had opportunity to be taken for vacations. Some others did. Those who came from affluent family could afford it. Our home and our disposition was never ever in a state where we could indulge in such luxury. Our luxury was the efforts made in keeping our homes cool. The continuous sprinkling of water on the floor of the house and a slab of ice floated over it to give the cool that it would elaborate. Other than the ordinary ceiling fan there was nothing else. How that slab of ice would keep all of us happy and content with the temperatures was a miracle I think. We never questioned or demanded any better. This was it. As the day would warm up the parda’s over our verandah would come down and if there was the luxury of the khus on some occasions it was most welcome ; its smell bringing in the feel for summer.

We had no car, so the bicycle was our biggest luxury and our greatest joy. The hours and hours spent in cleaning up the bike and making sure nothing was amiss, was a major exercise. When the rains broke, all that came on as festive eating would be brought out. The special mango called chusni , would be bought by the buckets and a lot of us sitting in the front of the stairway and legs crossed, would challenge each other on how much we ate. When the seed of the mango or the guthli would pile up to our chin, then was it believed that we have eaten enough !Ah !! …. Those days …

As the festival of Holi approaches all the thoughts go back to the days in Allahabad and how preparations would start a month in advance. Getting the pichkari cleaned and pumped up for instant operation. The collecting of the taysu phool and pulling out huge cylinders to fill with water and then to push the flowers into it to ferment over night for the color to form. The basanti orange color, thus obtained, would be the first colors that would be used the following morning when guests and family set out to enjoy the festival of color. The kitchen filled with delicious special treats for the festive air.Gujjia’s filled with great delicacies, mango shaped and with corrugated edges, would be circulated among the children and elders busy and involved with the splashing of color all over would stop by to grab a few of them and then continue with the revelry. The evening would be calmer and refined. After the scrubbing and cleaning to remove all the different hues all over our bodies, fresh traditional clothes, the smell of summer in them, would be worn and  we would sit and wait for the visitors to drop by, put the gentle tika on the forehead, wish each other a prosperous year ahead and move on to the next.

Most of the fruits that we so assiduously clamor and painstakingly order from markets today, were all part of our vegetation in the house, growing wild. We never realized their importance when we were there. Today we do, as we spend immense amount of energy to get them across and worse, to preserve them.

We had little then, but we felt large. Today we feel large, but we get little. Little in quality, little in response, little in the way we conduct ourselves, little in thought and word … just little .. in everything we do and believe in. The large heart, the large feel and the largeness of being small has all disappeared. Today our perspectives have changed. Time and tide have brought in the changes we so fiercely protected when younger. And I wonder …

When will it be that we all sit around informally without the TV and listen to an elder share poetry, literature, life with us.

When will it be that the ride to the nearest grocery store on your bike with a basket attached to the handle bars, shall ever be repeated.

When will it be that we would dress up and take a rickshaw, human drawn, unlike todays motorized versions, to a friends birthday party, play a lot of physical games and be back in the house before the street lamps came on.

When would it be that a bunch of us kids would sneak in to the neighbors house and swipe all his mango and guava and other delicious fruits from his private garden.

When would it be to feel the rush and joy of your parents having acquired a car. Not a new car, a car ! The very first in the house, a small Ford Prefect, navy blue in color, and the rides with friends and family with Mother driving us all over the city in great pride.

When would it be that we picked up our beds and rolled them out in the open air on the lawn outside or spread it out on the roof top to get the fresh and cool air of a summer evening and night.

And when would it be that when the first drizzle would sprinkle our face, we would instead of running in, remain outside and hope that one day there will be an opportunity to build that automatic machine which would at a press of a button, either cover us from the rain or through some mechanical genius, transport us inside safe from the rain – not wanting under any circumstance to be disturbed in our sleep !!

The list would go on and nostalgia mixed with emotion would roll out incessantly. Alas !! these are but thoughts now. And as one respondent on the FmXt had said, “wish we could have the capacity to draw back in time and get you back to doing films like Sharabi, which I now see and enthrall “

Time shall wait for no one. Give us then O ! Lord ! the capacity to acknowledge for what we have received, may the Lord make us truly thankful for Christ’s sake .. Amen !!

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 10, 2010
DAY 659 (i)

Prateeksha, Mumbai                          February  9,  2010                       Tue  10 : 19 PM


Before I say more .. some sad news .. one of our dear FmXt from Perm, Siberia in Russia, Zhenya, lost her Father yesterday. Zhenya has been a regular even before the blog started and has always addressed me as Pitaji .. a father. She is a spunky little girl and has loved India and Indian culture. From whenever I could remember, she celebrates all the festivals and never forgets to send me greetings on those days. Some early year photographs of my visit to Russia have been courtesy her. I want Zhenya to know that we are with her in her sorrow and grief and our prayers are with her..

You are a brave girl Zhenya .. and God will remain with you ..

I could not resist doing this. It was troubling me and so I came back from a very early bed time to an early enough bed time to express our solidarity with a member of our fraternity.

And below now some visuals of the afternoon function -

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Peace and harmony are more important than confrontation and controversy. The elements that guard the former are stronger and of greater value than the latter. Most of the time those involved in the 2 C’s have nothing whatsoever to do with the issue or the individual. They are guilty of fanning hatred and are therefore in my eyes worse off than those actually involved. If one can broker peace to end either C, that step needs to be taken immediately and will as will be seen bring result.

Many a time, those that prod and push and deliberately indulge themselves in an issue are themselves guilty of the accusation. Unable to act what they preach themselves, they look for scapegoats. Someone to hang the blame on. Not realizing of course that in doing so they prepare their own noose. Hang well dear friends !! And hang long !! Sometimes the rope round the neck takes a bit longer than usual to stifle the air that we breathe. But, do not also ever imagine that the rope shall get loose enough to escape. Once the noose is in, it remains in !!

A bit morbid for this time of the night and certainly not welcome on this blog. But in life there will be times when you need to spell it out !!

Love and love without the hangman …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 9, 2010
DAY 659

Prateeksha, Mumbai                              February  9,  2010                             Tue  7 : 04 PM


Taken off the formals. Wrapped up in the ‘mundu’, ‘munda’ ‘dhoti’. And in a desire to finish the post so I can follow the advice of many who show concern and care. It is early I know, but the need to get to bed is worth a try.

Formals ? Yes .. the formal launch for the mobile service where you could hear my voice is officially on today. At a short and sweet ceremony with the media at the newly opened Trident Hotel at Bandra Kurla Complex, where all the award events take place, modern almost boutique like and under the efficient management of an ex Sherwoodian. School ties never fade away.

The ‘name of the game’.. ha … no .. the name of the program is called BACHCHAN  BOL, a number is being advertised, you call and you get to hear me greet you, talk to you, on daily events, thoughts … just about anything that comes to the mind. At the moment it is in Hindi and restricted to India, but shortly it shall be world wide. It is one way .. that is you get to hear me and will not be able to respond back … but OnMobile the outfit that conducts the technology will be working on getting this facility operational too. InsideIndia, a London based Company shall be the Company managing this and I hope that soon we shall be able to develop a voice blog within our FmXt … so … Happy VOGGING … as this is being touted to be described as .. !!!

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And so to ‘Aman ki Asha ‘ above and the settings and the moods of poetry and the people and their reactions … and the last .. the sore point, the electronic media journalist from Zee asking me what was all about Madhushala !! Hah ! Young man, if you have not done your home work and research, if you have no interest in the event, why have you taken the trouble to come. And worse to ask a question that insults my Father’s great legacy and our literary heritage … !!

Anyway … the evening was most satisfying. I loved the ambience. That informal sit around, much like the days when my Father used to recite. People just gathered around, sat on the floor, palti maar ke, and the evening went on for hours and no one knew how time would pass. The applause and the wah wah’sand the end of each verse, the desire to repeat a line a verse, the insistence on a poem of particular interest. Much like the encore call last night after it was all over, as you can see below and then an impromtu break from the routine and some enterprising youth joining me on stage in dance, hurried off by security to restore some order.

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Lovely days those, with my Father. Sharing space with the other greats of poetry and literature. Spending time just listening to them and imbibing. Will those days ever return ? Time moves on and this generation I am not certain is as interested in such activity as we were.

But I think word spreads as you indulge. Just this morning a group from Pune comes over to invite me to such an evening for the inauguration of an amphitheater in an environment friendly locale. Maharashtra and Pune in particular has always had a keen interest towards culture and the classics. Dance forms, classical singing have been an essential ingredient, almost compulsory, in most homes. And when you therefore visit any Maharashtrian home you will always find the presence of that ethos and ethic. True too for some of our Southern states .. Tamilnadu, Andhra, Karnataka and Kerala. And of course Bengal. Especially among the girls in the home. There is indeed a prevalence of some classic art form in every corner of the country. And I am amazed at the vastness of the creativity and the beauty of its presence. I must know my country better. I must travel and read and imbibe them. I must gain undisclosed knowledge. For it must take a lifetime, perhaps more, to experience and know what India is all about. Such a shame that a large portion of my life is over and I never had the time to know … know about my own people and their culture. But I will. I shall pursue, even if time is not on my side, I shall pursue  !!

To those of my extended family then .. a cultured good night .. and with the love of more to come..

Amitabh Bachchan



Feb 9, 2010
DAY 658

Prateeksha, Mumbai                      February  8,  2010                    Mon  11 : 48 PM


I am weak to day. Weak in thought. Weak in what I do. Weak in circumstance. Weak in memory. Weak with myself.

My weakness could be my exhaustion. An exhaustion not of time or deed. An exhaustion from excessive consumption. My Father’s work consumes me. The Times of India ‘Aman ki Asha’ initiative just got over at the Bandra Fort, where Zia Moyeddin and I recited in the spirit of togetherness and hope for peace. The Fort is actually an old relic, left unattended and has been through some innovative design changes. A small informal stage has erupted, an amphitheater like seating in front, has an air of informality. There are no comfort zones or efforts made to make it happen. People just arrive and seat themselves on the floor with folded feet and relaxed mind.

Whatever the outcome, what I believe is right is that there were this many people who were lovers of poetry. And many among them were first timers, young and oblivious to poetry and by whom. The atmosphere was built in a manner where it was certain that  all could be seen out in the open at the press of a button. People had come there to have a good time and I do believe that that is a quality which signifies that the doors are open for a happy nostalgic evening.

My Father’s works at once sonorous and sad and then almost directly posing as happy with sarcasm catches the very large canvas that he covered when he wrote. There was a sense of fulfillment within me and I do hope in the minds of the film Industry that had decorated the place with their own presence.

God has been kind. Perhaps we needed to remember him time and again so as to delay departure..

The crowds were beyond the capacity. It being an outdoor amphitheater with free passes it was bound to get a little boisterous. As the recitation by Zia began the seats in the hall had all begun to be in a mood of reconciliation, and by the time I came over, the pulse in the audience was apparent.  There are many that were unable to connect with the purest form of Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s urdu, now the official language of Pakistan and so were perhaps relieved when I came on with ‘Madhushala’ and Viju Shah’s orchestra, the old favorites, smiling and happy.

Wanting to connect with my Father at last, becoming a virtual necessity I volunteered  for, it. It was a healthy mix  of contemporary and modern times, and I do feel that every time I think of him in such circumstances, a strength comes upon me from him and one that remains dormant for a while ; until circumstances change with power.

Power will be there in  many  liberated  causes, but it cannot just  be a Mr Rai.  I believe that flimsy surrogate and wasteful research will have just that in life and no mother.

I must rest now. I shall continue later in the day tomorrow.

It is with love , … a love that knows anyway about the brand ..

Amitabh Bachchan


Feb 8, 2010
DAY 657

The Meridien, Cochin, Kerala                     February  7, 2010                 Sun  10 : 27 PM

Valorie … a belated birthday wish to you .. may you remain healthy and wise and poetic as ever !

As I watch the ‘mohiniattam’ being performed on stage by a large group of dancers performing in honour of the evening to felicitate Resul Pookutty, Oscar Award winner for his sound design in Slumdog Millionaire, I cannot but be mesmerized by the kathakali dance form from these regions. The eyes and their expressive movement, the hands moving in lyrical grace, enveloping inviting and so utterly spell binding. The use of the most minimal body movement, yet enough to express what needs to be expressed. It is this brevity of movement that is so attractive. It is the brevity of expression that has sunk into the psyche of the inhabitants of this region. Their reserve and restraint is well known in their culture and language. Their literacy quotient being the highest in the country, could be another.

Kerala, God’s own country, has not earned this name without meaning. There is an air about it that justifies its warm and affectionate existence. But as always, just when you begin to enjoy and sink into the land, a departure takes place and we are soon away from it all. Perhaps a little too soon.

Resul, not gloating in the air of importance and recognition, has decided to give back to society, to his people and has started a Foundation for the needy. A medical care center with an established hospital, for those among us that are under privileged and poor. Noble and kind of heart. I contribute to it too, in kind, in a small ceremony that takes place a little earlier in the afternoon on arrival.

Keeping in tune with the phrase ‘do in Rome as the Romans do’, I order some extraordinary crafted dhoti andsari to be worn at the evening formal function. The sari of course for the ladies in the house. Typical Kerala designed motifs on them through gold and silver threads. Such richness of craft in every part of our beautiful country and such a shame that we are so unaware of it and its existence. Well I certainly. How wonderful it would be if I could drop everything around me and just visit every corner of India to imbibe, learn and experience my own land and people. How wonderful to learn and be acquainted with their customs and culture and language. To live with them, be one with them, breathe the same air, discover our countrymen in different hues and in turn hope that we can discover ourselves too !!

So, I wear the dhoti or munda as it is more colloquially known for the evening and I think there is an appreciation of it. The ceremony is short and sweet and over in an hour. Which is in sharp contrast to the pomp and grandeur and expanse of last night’s in Chennai. I meet up with the two greats of Malayalam cinema – Mohanlal and Mamooty. Their work is testimony to their greatness. Effortless, easy and so completely natural that it belies all that you may have conceived about how acting needs to be done. Mohanlal comes up to the room later and narrates a script for which he wishes me to do a days’ guest appearance. I am inclined on principle but will read the script and revert.

There was a post before the one that was there before that .. I think … which had ended with ‘to those that understand and those that do not understand’. Whereas there were many that did understand, there were some that did not. Were I to explain to them, it would rob me the reason for writing it the way I did. Explaining it would in a way diminish the effect of the content. So I would rather not. But if there are some enterprising young men or women that would wish to elaborate to those that desired elaboration, I would not stop them from doing so. In fact it would be a wonderful exercise in assuaging from them whether they were close to the thought or not.

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The ‘dhoti’ in all its pristine glamour, tied up around the waist by shear will power and some dextrous use of the stomach muscle, else it slips down and opens up !! It is just a piece of cloth, no buttons, no belts, no clips nothing. Simple elegant convenient and with its own characteristic charm and above all – air conditioned at all times !! The fall of the main design as a strip down the front to be positioned on the right hip and just around the right knee. Rules of culture.

During my several interviews that went down today with Manorama News, the TV channel that is number 1 in the region, I was asked for a few minutes to talk to their radio station Radio Mango, and the lady that pushed the radio mike across my nose made an observation. She said my sign off ‘love line’ on the blog is always different. Different ways of saying ‘i love you’ every day !!

Strange I had never noticed that, and now that she has told me I am more conscious of it. Wonder if I shall sign off with a difference  today. Lets see -

Love you … ‘munda’ and all …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 7, 2010
DAY 656

Taj Coromandel, Chennai                      February  6/7,  2010                   Sat/Sun  1 : 30 AM

8 hours in the presence of the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu here in Chennai to felicitate him and his generosity to the workers of the Tamil Film Industry. He has allocated 100 acres of land for building houses for the workers and several other benefits announced. The variety show put up by the entire Industry brought nostalgia and history and emotion all into one. To see the first ever films of the greats MGR and Shivaji Ganesan, to see and hear them recite the great writing of the Chief Minister, then a writer in his early years and not in politics. He is 86 now and still is writing for 2 films apart from governing the State. To spend time with Rajni and Kamal who translate for me all the proceedings as we go along this rather long evening cum night.

Karunanidhi remembers the telegram he sent me during my accident in 1982. I remind him of the first National Award that I received for ‘Saat Hindustani’ from him, when the awards were given out in Madras. He smiles pleasantly.

When i do good, i feel good.
When i do bad, i feel bad.
That is my Religion.

Abraham Lincoln

Jaya sends me that as I land in Chennai and feels that it needs reference for the blog. I obey.

It is late and it is an early flight tomorrow morning to Cochin in Kerala on the other side of the peninsula. There to felicitate Resul Pookutty for his Oscar and more recently for his Padma Award.

‘When I do good i feel good’ ….

I will leave now .. i need to prepare too for the event on Monday at the Bandra Fort and my recitation…

Love you my dearest ones … you are the reason I exist ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 6, 2010
DAY 655

Prateeksha, Mumbai                         February  5/6,  2010                         Fri/Sat  2 : 13 AM

A birthday of the son Abhishek. A day of rejoicing and fun and light heartedness. A day full of love and affection for all those that send in feeling and wishes and warmth. Of family and friends calling in. But … the young man chooses to work. And so after the early morning greetings he has left for his ‘Crooked ‘ shoot.

The four of us had quietly brought in his 34th over dinner last night. A card, a gift, a reading of Shweta’s piece to him and many hugs and cakes later departing to the duvet.

But as life would have it and dictate, there were moments of sadness too. Sujit Kumar passed away early this morning. A colleague in several films, a considerate neighbor, husband to a wife that remained an exceptional friend and fan till her tragic end some years ago. When life ends it takes along so many moments of the past in quick succession. All those memories of time spent together, the films, the locations on out doors, the camaraderie, all gone in one swift cruel move.

Condolences and prayers for his children and family.

There were condolences too for Aamir this evening. He lost his Father, Tahir Hussain, some days back. An effervescent gentleman, producer and director. Jaya worked with him in ‘Anamika’ with Sanjeev Kumar. We went across to Aamir’s place and spent time with him and his family. Tried to keep the atmosphere light and cheerful. It was pleasant.

Back in Jalsa a few friends over for dinner and company to be with Abhishek for a birthday. Nothing extravagant or loud, a mere warm collection of friends, light banter and now back to bed.

Tomorrow looms large and near enough – most of the night is already through !! Tomorrow another day in the Southern part of the country. Tomorrow another day when I shall attempt some yellow lines. Tomorrow when I shall hopefully catch up on sleep and contemplation. Scripts and papers for future production. It is always so difficult to decide what to take on and what to leave behind. Which scripts would make good cinema, which roles would provide challenge.

As Aamir came down to see us off when we left his house, he expressed – ” We must work together sir .. “. I told him to direct a film. He has such talent for it. He nodded approval.

But we all know that nods of approval and desire to work together, make good conversation ready to picked up as a headline tomorrow, and nothing more.

There is a sense of excitement as I close for the day. Its not the end of Fri 5th. Its the end of an obsolete mobile phone and the arrival of a new modern machine, updated in design and function. The joy of opening the complicated packing of the box, picking out piece by piece of the machine and its varied contraptions one by one, fitting them in loading it on and charging it to its fullest.

And then …. the mystery of finding out how it works !! Ha ha ..

Modern invention is too rapid for most of us and in order that we may avail the best and the latest, we often give way to quality and reliability, giving greater attention to design. Essential, but perhaps too liberal.

I would agree … You ??

Love you and more …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 5, 2010
DAY 654

Prateeksha, Mumbai                             February  4,  2010                          Thu  7 : 40 PM


On the eve of Abhishek’s birthday as we prepare to welcome the 5th I can only share the joy with my extended family by putting out what Shweta wrote for a magazine on her brother. This is an edit note to be published in the Box Office India Weekly film trade magazine for the issue dated February 6th. The editor is an old friend and journalist Vinod Mirani, who has been there in the trade ever since I can remember.

My Brother, Abhishek

As my mother explains it, she chose the name Abhishek, for her second born, and only son, because it means the anointing of a king or God- in her context it was Amitabh Abhishek- the crowning glory of her husband. At the hospital that day, there was an atmosphere of celebration- my father opened bottles of champagne, though it was strictly forbidden, and everyone, including the reluctant nurses imbibed and partook in the revelry. So, Abhishek brought with him euphoria and merriment; the air was thick with bubbles and the pop of corks and before the new born could even utter his first independent cry, his destiny was thrust on him – he was to the manor born… and Abhishek would not disappoint.

I admire his ability to carry such an awesome mantle with such grace, yet never losing his innate affability. Seldom, in these many years have I come across anyone who is impervious to his charm and effervescence. Yet very few could grasp what it would feel like to be in his shoes, while he himself has much bigger shoes to fill. He makes it look effortless.

Ever since he was a boy, he wanted to act. He enjoyed going on the sets and struck up friendships with the entire unit, they indulged him and I remember him making a boy’s game out of serious props like swords and hand pistols. The sets were truly his playground. At home he enacted action sequences with all his vigour, me and my hapless dolls and teddy bears bearing the brunt of his melodramatic fury. I correct myself, he didn’t want to grow up to be an actor- he wanted to grow up and be Amitabh Bachchan! Today when I see him on screen, larger than life, it feels surreal, glimmers of his make believe world of dangerous villains and man eating monster’s flash through my mind.

Many a time people get taken in by the boyish pranks and fail to see the man inside- who has tremendous grit, it may take him time to get to where he wants but get there he will…have no doubt about it. He is capable of such maturity and intensity in his performances it belies his years. I have to admit I have watched all his movies behind a veil of tears, tears of joy and pride that he is realizing his dream and my mother’s – Amitabh Abhishek- Amitabh’s crowning glory!

Shweta Nanda

You do appreciate of course that this comes out here even before it gets published and I wish to thank the editor for agreeing to allow me to do this.

Most of today has been spent initiating a new concept, a new facility, a new endeavor, for greater connectivity. The expanse of mediums has made our lives so much more transparent and available. At a media event recently a senior journalist questioned me on my desire to write, to express on blog and in them to open as it were information and thoughts that I lived with in an entire day. The premise being that for someone who had kept away from the media, ban and all, for most parts of his career, it was unusual for him now to be so available and in a sense pandering to the fourth estate as it were. I had wondered over the question. When I was not speaking, the allegation was ‘ why was I not speaking ‘. And when you do, its ‘ why are you speaking so much to the media ‘. To me it seemed odd that the medium would want to regulate the opening and closing of my voice box ! It strengthened my argument that the medium would ideally want you to speak when they felt they needed you to speak and conversely to shut up when they did not desire it. What could possibly be their reason to behave thus ? Simple. The copy and thereby the commerce of the day did not suit them or the agenda set up at their editorial early morning meet.

Would you therefore wish to address this as a selfish act ? On ground level perhaps yes. But look around. How many other professions negate the respect that is required towards commerce. Lets not go too far. Look at our own profession. In film, are we prone to follow principles that do away with commerce ? Do we ever make a product, investing time, energy, creativity and money with the intent of a free box office ? No. Then why question the media. Media is a business too and shall perforce have to follow basics of business, or perish.

The lady journalist that asked me this question defended her argument by stating that by my excessive exposure, the ‘mystique’ that surrounded me would disappear. A mystique that had for many stars across the globe, become an endearing quality in building and maintaining a greater life span.

I told the affable lady – ” Ma’am ! I am 68 years old. Not much longer to go. What good is it going to do to hold on to mystique when you are on the other end of the hill and sliding down rapidly to the bottom ? “

She was honest in her response – ” I have no answer to that. You have me there ! “

So to return to the regulation of voice boxes for their own end, it would be difficult to understand whether de regulation by the media, would fall into a similar abyss. Could it not be then, that a regulated comment or byte by desired individual, keeping in mind its potentially large commercial prospects, be deliberately de regulated to extend commercial prospect !

And in doing so, does the medium not become guilty of looking merely at their own selfish end, without any concern for two of the most important ingredients in the matter – the issue and the individual !??!

And I ask the medium. Does it ever bother you whether this, seemingly innocuous aberration in your act ; and in what you believe to be of no consequence, could bring an ocean of turmoil to the party concerned. Does it ever occur to you that the strength and force and believability of the medium, has the absolute power to change, pollute and corrupt a regulated voice to be made to sound deregulatory ? Does it ever occur to you the consequences such deregulation creates ? Would you not agree, that in succumbing to such act, you offer reason and opportunity to those that would choose to interpret it in their own way and interest ? And would you not agree that in the final outcome, it is not the individual or the specific issue that gets affected, but the neighbor or the common man that unknowingly and most unfortunately, becomes an innocent victim ?

Has the medium ever had the courage and the guts to pronounce boldly what is right and what is wrong and has it then made any concrete efforts to banish or disassociate those, through their power of projection, that have not necessarily through their own desire, taken umbrage and now turning the moment to represent a cause that is not acceptable to them ??

In any part of the world at any given time and place there shall always be issues, sensitive enough to provoke revolt, repulsion and disagreement. Prodding them into activation could be looked upon by the medium as ‘investigative’ and the ‘need for the populace to be informed’. Agree. But it could also be looked upon as deliberate instigation for, if I may be allowed to be candid, good copy and commercial enhancement.

Issues and individuals be damned. Job done. Shut the shop. Get to bed for peaceful slumber. And why bother about the pain and anguish and personal harm that you may have set about, by letting the cat out into the pigeons !!

Think about it ! Zara sooach ke dekhiye !!

My love as always – to those that understand and to those that may never understand !

Amitabh Bachchan


Feb 4, 2010
DAY 653

Prateeksha, Mumbai                      February  3/4,  2010                       Wed/Thu  1 : 20 AM

Jallianwala Bagh commentary and the final assault on General Dyer and Odwire in London as a revenge killing by Udham Singh came through by the early hours of the morning. Had turned in by 3 am and was at the studio by 6. Morning times are always good for voice quality. It is fresh and clear and has a unique resonance about it. The makers were happy, the job was done and now we all look forward to seeing it all put together for the son et lumiere !

Chennai beckons for a felicitation to the Chief Minister Mr Karunanidhi – he having designated land for the film industry of the South. He has been a stalwart for cinema much before he went into politics. A great writer and lyricist, his dialogues in the films are most memorable and have been quite unique. His felicitation by me shall be a bit of a reversal in nostalgia. My first National Award for the promising newcomer for ‘Saat Hindustani’ , my very first film, was presented by him at a glittering ceremony, well not exactly glittering, ceremony in Chennai, then known as Madras. It was an awkward moment for me. I had been shooting for a film there ‘Pyaar ki Kahani’ a film that came to me by default. It was to have been done, by then the very popular and most successful star from the Hindi firmament in the South, Jitendra. Because of the number of films that had been taken by stars, all of them were unable to give proper dates to producers. The producers went to certain associations that enveloped the industry and a dictat was passed. No star would be allowed to sign more than 9 films at a time, I think. Jitendra had crossed the limit and so this project was put up to me, because he would not be allowed by associations to partake in them.

It was a lovely experience doing this film in Madras, a first for me. The magnificence of the studio system was efficiently prevalent. Large systematic studios, clean, well organized and the nature of work, methodical. There was Anil Dhawan, elder brother to David Dhawan, or was it the other way round. Farida Jalal the effervescent actress and a fond friend of Jaya and the dynamic Tanuja.

It was a remake of the very successful Tamil film ‘Kai kudrtha Deivam’ starring two of my favorites from the Southern film world – Shivaji Ganesan and Savitri. He a master in his craft and one whom I began to admire after seeing this film. And then the lovely and the most beautiful face of the Industry, Savitri, a most consummate natural, the likes of which I was never able to see anywhere.

Madras was where my brother Ajitabh was posted in a shipping firm those days. The city was sparse. There was but just 2 hotels that spoke of any urban existence. Otherwise it was a calm quiet and very energized place. It was the first film premiere of my film on this in Bombay then, now Mumbai. It was funny and odd to be at the show that night. I felt awkward and self conscious. But the only one that threw caution to the winds in my praise was Mehmood Bhai, the great comedian, whose brother Anwar Ali and I had worked in ‘Saat Hindustani ‘ and in who’s house I was staying.

Madras was pristine and steeped in culture. Ethics and ethos prevailed in all homes. And in this very orthodox environment, there was a Thunderbird, the most coveted sports car of the era with a friend of ours. At nights after pack up we would go off for drives, listening in those days to music in the car through that old time cartridge cassette. It was the American system device. A square – oblong cased container the size of 2 cigarette packets put together was our source. It had pre recorded music on it, generally from the USA. You could not record fresh on it and there were many a time when we would have listened to the tape so often that eventually we would destroy it.

There were no large buildings. Simple practical homes, great places to eat idli and the exquisite sari store Nalli’s. We would carry much from this store for the ladies at home and for the men there was this great fad of wearing lungi’s from the same store. So much to reveal and talk about the south and its most organized working and of course whenever they had spare time, to watch our films. And in reverse make them again. Wonderful days !! Some other day there shall be greater description of them.

From Chennai there shall be Cochin in Kerala and another felicitation. This time for our very own Resul Kutty, the Oscar winner for his work on Slumdog.

4th shall be eve of Abhishek’s birthday, he being born on the 5th and there shall be some people over to the house. It has been a while since ….. ……

The pressures of time still keep me away from them yellow lines. But rest assured one day I shall surprise them …

My love floweth over …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 3, 2010
DAY 652

Prateeksha, Mumbai                               February  2,  2010                         Tue  11 : 47 PM

At 6 in the morning at BR Dubbing a reliving of the history of tormented times in the Punjab before the Jalianwala Bagh massacre at the hands of the British. Revealing, riveting and full of strong stories of valor and determination. Of revolt against suppression. Of challenge against those that oppressed and tried to sublimate us. As you go through the rituals of the reading, the visuals of the times, the emotions all creep inside you and overwhelm you. Those were the days my friend. How one would have loved to have lived in those times. To have felt the passion of independence. To have been a part of revolution that changed the future of an entire nation. Those were the days … yes … those were the days !!

By the middle of the afternoon Baz Luhrmann climbs up to the office third floor for a meeting. Some exquisite paintings presented, some talk on motor bike accidents and swollen hands of infection, endless musings on cinema and philosophy and intent, personal close photographs and then good bye. With the hope to meet again.

And after a short recess a mammoth enterprise … and again ! The media build up to COLORS as a channel coming to the UK and USA. Connecting to London and Birmingham and Leicester and New York. COLORS in the UK, APNA COLORS in the United States. Radio, print whatever … promoting projects and detail on the content and reasons for the association. Fun !! Not the promotions … just the variety of questions and the manner in which they construct the interviews. Fascinating !!

And then after a long time … the family … all four of us together and by ourself .. just sitting and chatting and passing opinion and judgement and argument on topics prevalent. It is a fascinating world.

I see that there is an impatience for the yellow. It is long overdue, but so is time. Time has been itself overdue and extracting one out from there has always been difficult. But suddenly someday, one day, it will occur. The responses … And then perhaps there shall be happiness and joy.

Google from San Francisco has come over for a meeting. They wish to put my Father’s works on it. Access it for all lovers of poetry. Connect it through limited exposure on the net, but giving links where they could be bought and hence enhance sales where they do not exist. What do you think ? Oh… ok … shall put it up as a question on the column by the side. Property, copyrights, piracy, costs all go in making the right decision and I do hope that it shall prevail in a mutually agreeable program.

They talk of putting up my own YouTube recordings and assure me that they can be done without going anywhere. Sitting here in front of the computer and after a short introduction to the mechanics we should be able to conduct the activity ourselves, without any further ado !!

In closing then .. a confession ..

My daughter writes beautifully … hang on for her introduction on the blog soon and her piece that she has written.

With my love to all .. in whatever state you are in .. in whatever …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 2, 2010

January 2010

33 posts

DAY 651

Prateeksha, Mumbai                           February  1,  2010                          Mon  11 : 48 PM

Authority … !!!

Authority of position and place. Authority in domesticity. Authority through the medium of media. Authority in relations. Authority among equals and friends. Authority …

By what authority do we function in all spheres of life. By what authority does position and place become overbearing. Why does authority in domesticity become conducive with all that denotes order and harmony. How does the media or any medium function with authority and right. Is it of value to be in authority amongst ourselves – we are all equals and friends …

It is of immense interest to me how authority exists and why. Has it been devised by nature to accommodate submission. Or has it been devised to accentuate defensiveness. We are weak and vulnerable when we are defensive. We are strong and impressive when aggressive. Why ??

Knowing these traits do we not ever use them to our advantage ; to get out of situations that will not go our way. Can we really become aggressive despite our inborn weakness. Do we surrender to such acts deliberately or do we act out them.

I am in dilemma and distress on appropriate answers. They come to me but in fits and starts. More fits, than starts. Are those that practice or induce these traits aware of its repercussions. Will there be any repercussions ?

Submitting to them is more from respect of position. Once position achieves a stand dictated by what we have agreed in principle, we seldom question it. Its the way the ethics of a nation a culture exists.

I am this morning subjected to authority. I wrote last night of pending argument and debate and discussion. Of belief and disbelief and what it would entail once a final judgement is arrived at. But the belief really is that authority prevails. You may have fact and truth in place. You may have evidence in place. But in the end authority reveals an unbiased face. Truth will have its place and meaning but it will carry the onus of being harassed. Truth will be harassed, but truth will never be defeated. This is strong. Evidence must be clinching and pure, it cannot be circumstantial. Assumptions cannot have meaning to an accusation. And even if they do, conviction will never find space on mere ‘accu-sumtion’.

In a civilized society, conduct and constitution, law and judiciary could be blindfolded, but in the inevitable end, truth will prevail – satyameva jayate !!

Someday there shall be a revelation of what this leads to or does not. Webs of deceit may be deployed to surround and strangle fact, but even though they are long and endless in wait … the end result would and shall and will be positive. So help me God !!

Uddhav Thakeray calls. he has just come out of the theatre after ‘Rann’ and is not able to find appropriate words to describe his appreciation for the film and the performance. Minutes later Bala Saheb calls. ‘I want to see this film. Come and show it to me !’ ‘You have not been to see me for a long time !’

I assure him I shall arrange a projection in his house. I ask after his health. He is fine he says.

He cannot travel out due to his frail condition, but the fire in him still burns. He is resolute and firm as ever and in that resoluteness you discover an endearing, that sudden soft moment, which has always made his presence so strong and affectionate. His sense of humor is in tact as he punches in some wise ones !!

Abhishek had been to Delhi for the press for Colors and Bingo. After a rollicking start of the highest TRP the press needs to meet him. He returns to Mumbai with his Mother, who had been there in Delhi and in Varanasi for an International conference. He has trudged off to Film City for ‘Crooked’ his new film, his wife has swiftly followed him there too for Vipul’s film. They shall be late in returning and the husband and wife at home decide to call it a day. It has been a long and argumentative Indian day. The system prevails and rules, try disturbing it and you could end up starting a revolution or quietly to it, succumb.

I would rather succumb than be a part of the revolution. The answerability and accountability be the facets that shall sit on judgement when the results are announced.

Nothing has been heard yet. But it will soon. Will they draw me or shall I be drawn into it. Difficult to state or even apprehend. Nurturing the craft of human emotions is an exercise that we must all learn. For it is the humans that shall encounter us and become its counter too !!

Love to you …

Amitabh Bachchan

Feb 1, 2010
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