Jalsa , Mumbai April 29, 2011 Fri 10 : 16 PM
I think my unit and my crew at the shoot are just such a polite bunch of people. When I look at the video assists for an idea as to how the shot given came out, I want to hide my face. But all the others are getting ecstatic. Something wrong with perception and its probably mine, or both of ours. Uncertainty has always reined in creativity. We are all so uncertain of the work that we execute, yet we accept to take it on when offered. How the confidence is lost and how enough courage is garnered to execute what we may have taken on shall remain a mystery – at least with me. I wish so much that there were no tests at the end of each creativity. I wish we could all go in there, have fun at working and come away without the thought that it shall be up for public scrutiny.
At times when we rehearse, the effect of the moment is far greater and better than what comes on after a formal take is conceived and executed. Is it the formality of the moment or what. Many a time directors and those that educate us on such matters, give us the valued wisdom of being relaxed. But being relaxed is by itself an institution. It is a thesis by itself. You need to go to another school for it !
Also I have often so wished that there was no one on set. Somehow the thought of so many eyes watching every little move of yours is so frightening. Not to mention of course those that actually work on the gadgetry that accompanies a take – crane, trolley, jimmy jib, lights, filters …
Many actually prefer an audience. Especially one that encourages and urges them on. I would prefer silence.
In between the shots sitting around in the vanity was able to catch some of the ceremony of the Royal Wedding -William and Catherine. Such majesty, grandeur, pageantry, tradition, protocol and the efficiency of discipline. A joy to watch and behold. The singing of the hymns in the Westminster Abbey reminding me of our Chapel in Sherwood and the Sundays spent in prayer.
I feel today the strain of exertion. I think the loss of liquid in the body could be one of the reasons. Within minutes of being on set, its like having been drenched in a heavy shower of monsoon rain. So I need to be excused a little early. Another finishing day tomorrow. Have to finish the song and there is still quite a bit remaining.
I do hope all will understand … love to you ..