Amitabh Bachchan's Official Blog

Month

July 2011

32 posts

Day 1199

Jalsa , Mumbai                  July  31,  2011                                   Sun  11 : 50 

Been at it from 6 in the morning and have only just returned to turn in before leaving for Bengaluru tomorrow morning for the promotions of ‘Aarakshan’, early …

I sometimes wonder if those that snigger and make snide remarks at celebrities whether they would ever consider just spending a day in the life of , and come out unscathed from the terrors of a complete day in our existence. And I sometimes do feel that if there was to be any pressure of work or occupation, the best person to handle it would be the one that is most busy ..

How we find the time .. how it gets executed … how it never distracts from any other, is by itself an exercise that would require a deep analysis at a psychiatrists. But seriously though, I think in the spirit of determination, there should be a yardstick to gauge the impulses and reactions that the mind goes through during the course of the day. I also feel extremely strongly that there ought to be a meter which could determine the intensity of our work schedules, our preferences of company, the moments of solitude required, or not … and so many other aspects. We would I am sure be a psychiatric’s delight. The couch would never be the same once we were to be on it ..

I feel a bit like that today, attending to multiple chores and still bearing in mind that the ultimate chore is in front of the camera. How ever we transform from one diametrically opposite angle to the other, is still a mystery and more , a question. It must have something to do with a bio organic reaction within our systems, finally resulting in the system taking over….

As I sit to punch in a few words for the Ef, I wonder where this desire to complete what has been programmed for the day, comes from. And I have discovered that it comes from the patience and love of the audiences. Whether inside a hall, a gathering of public dimension or in solitude !

I believe it comes from the desire to maintain discipline and order. To feel ashamed when a timing is given a step motherly treatment. To be determined to follow what has been asked of us to follow. Order was never a command, it was a definite predetermined act. An act to enhance the belief or ritual of some, and perhaps to emulate it for posterity …

Some attitudes one is born with and they remain the longest in our systems. We acquire traits that assist us in benefitting our craft … on how to respect the elders, or how to go about finding the correct regulations that shall make us a better person to live with.

All of this is indeed a most difficult task. Each one wants to live in their own shadow or reflection – makes following easier. But it seldom happens and so ….we drift and wander and look around for help. Most of the time the ones that offer help are in their natural or made up stage of the concert of life and surprisingly they are the ones most effective and strong.

I salute those that comply to this and make effort to fulfill. But the children want to move about. Being confined to one single room or area is dreaded by them. That sense of complete independence urges us to mature and be our own man or woman – anxious to find solutions of this crumbling world about them. May they live and endure and continue to prosper …

I am keen that the joining of hands on such occasions makes a great difference .. its not just a voyeuristic pleasure, but one that we need to do more often …

Love and never expect any more … expectation leads to some of the most unwanted crimes one can think of..

Good night and may the eternal bless you and give you time and position and properity …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 31, 2011
Day 1198

Jalsa , Mumbai                       30/31, 2011                         Sat/Sun   12 : 25 AM

Beaten … exhausted and losing all sense of bearing … KBC does that to us all … such a complicated game show, so many different computeristics .. so many rules and set ups to keep in mind and then to not forget the game itself and its various permutations and computations …

But one interesting candidate and the entire anxiety of the working of the show just flies past .. we had a few today and tomorrow is another day .. let us hope that all goes well .. the second episode towards the evening will have invites to Saif and Deepika .. who come to promote their film and mine as well – ‘Aarakshan’ !!!

In many ways the philosophy of the film and that of KBC is quite similar. Given opportunity, even the lesser privileged shall prosper. Or at least have the capacity to prosper. The previous season showed to us that contestants from small town India, came up in large numbers and did what most metro town inhabitants could not achieve. The power of opportunity, the power of determination if the resources materialize, and the ultimate joy of disproving most others is really the triumph of the common man.

Who would have ever thought that a Muslim lady from a small town, conservative in its outlook, would one day sit on the hot seat and crack the jackpot of a crore of rupees ! But she did, as did many others from humble beginnings. And that really is the marvel. Those without means and facilities, those who have never had opportunity to even think of education, for them to suddenly find themselves in the higher echelons of society, speaks volumes for the democratic nature of our constitution and the adherence thereof. The film ‘Aarakshan’ provides many sides of this issue and many other. And so when we have movie integration with KBC, this point stands out in great favor for the film …

The rains have been incessant.. and so harsh that we had to stop shooting KBC at times, because of the noise factor. But all in all a most satisfying day … harsh and hard, but satisfactory.

My yawns stifled as they were through out most of the day due to lack of sleep have kept me company throughout, and I wonder if I shall be able to sneak in a few hours tonight for tomorrow is a nightmare .. Two episodes to can, and in the second have the great pleasure of hosting Saif Ali Khan and Deepika ..

I must rest my dearest FmXt … and those that need to come to the shoot of KBC, need to coordinate with me so I can arrange all of this …

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 31, 2011
Day 1197

Jalsa , Mumbai                   July  29 , 2011                    Fri  11 : 39 PM

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The face of the new season of KBC .. 5 cr to be won and win a jackpot sitting at home and answering a question live on the show .. 1 lakh if your answer was correct from a random selection of contestants, and if you choose to play jack pot, then the correct answer for the next one gets 2 lakhs more .. so 3 in all .. if for some reason you cannot answer the jackpot question, then you even lose what you were winning earlier .. and if that happens then the jackpot does a roll over and the next contestant sitting at home has a chance of getting the jackpot of 3 lakhs !! Pretty interesting na ??

The entire day on tech rehearsals for the show and going through the routines and mock candidates going through the works … tomorrow DDay .. KBC 5 starts ..!!!

‘Koi bhi insaan chota nahin hota’ … no individual is small, they all are big and important and as much value as any other .. this is universal in thought and mind and deed … and KBC endorses that. Given an opportunity anyone big or small can endeavor and dream to be the recipient of a life changing amount of money ..

And along with the KBC  energy comes the film ‘Aarakshan’ on the 12th of August .. and hoping that both do well … prayers and wishes are solicited ..

I am to rest well … for tomorrow starts another chapter another challenge ..

Its short today but filled with only affection and love

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 29, 2011
Day 1196

Jalsa , Mumbai                             July  28 ,  2011                         Thu  9 : 51 PM

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In bed by 1 am last night and up at 4 am to get the flight to Mumbai … reading all the coverage of the visit on the front pages of Kolkata press … appreciating the honesty of the reportage .. the debate at Xaviers and the pertinent points spoken … meeting the Captain and crew inside for picture opportunities .. the Captain informing me that his Nani at 96 and his son at 6 admired my work .. that tender hand shake of the driver of the coach from the aircraft to the terminal .. and finally home to pick up some clothes a bite of breakfast and straight to Film City 16 for KBC rehearsals ..

Have just returned exhausted but energised to meet the family and eventually yes to write to those that cherish and love me unconditionally … my FmXt, thank you for being in my life, for now it seems so improbable to exist without that page of post each day.

The blog gets read in all corners of the world, in all walks of society. And at each step of my public appearance there is never less than a few that quote and refer to it glowingly, media included. There is now never a write up on my news without mention of the blog and its contents. This is an honor and a glorious achievement. I now am privileged to write my own press news each day – for both print and electronic. Criticized and cynically looked upon by all in the early stages, now falling prey to its existence. This is not an achievement to boast about and neither to I revel in talking about it. It is but an acknowledgement of the times and my constant refrain, that the ‘communication and information ogre’ that remains perpetually hungry for content, needs must find avenues for its consistency. And the consistency loaded on to a medium that does not come under any of the journalistic morals or ethics of the state or profession, is not just a threat to the firmly ensconced fourth estate, but indeed is an act that needs to be observed severely and justly before it is used for public formal consumption.

It may have made the job a bit easier for those that lazily remain within closed doors of their media office rooms, but somewhere the usage of material from social net working must be studied before giving it much credibility. Just as there are honest reporters, there are honest social networkers too. Just as there are corrupt reporters, there are corrupt social networkers too. Knowing the importance given to a social networking site, does it not tempt or coerse the probable trouble maker to feed unsubstantiated news to the rightful and formal media, purely on the belief that it shall be picked up and sent into print distribution orbit ?? Merely safe guarding yourself by mentioning sources and absolving yourself of all responsibility, is a weak way out. It needs deeper thought and mature handling. Simply admitting that if we do not do it the others will and keeping in mind competition we are forced to follow routine procedures is not enough. Either cut us out completely, or join in and let us run this together with understanding. Something wise informs me that the probability of the former will most likely happen, rather than the latter, for, the latter would need for the media to divulge their modus operandi – something that they would rather carry to their grave !!

I spent most of the evening ruminating my Talk2Me episode that i comply with each month for one hour – give opportunity to individual callers to speak to me. One such caller today, a Rajinder from Delhi spoke to me at length in clipped English and lusty Hindi, on values and life, on the planets and the supernatural forces affecting us, on the business of life and the futility of death … when it was almost over, I asked him what his profession was. And he answered that he was a auto driver – a three wheeler public transport, driver ! I have been stunned since. Rajinder is obviously not three wheeler auto driver material. There has to be a tale here and I wish I had the time to find that from him. I have requested InsideIndia the company that runs this medium to send me a transcript of this conversation. I wish to share it with you. Truly amazing !!!

And now I as I sip the ‘mishti doi’ gifted to me last night in a most touching and generous manner by the Chief Minister of West Bengal, Mamata Banerjee, the sweets from the FmXt being devoured by the family, since I do not eat them, I glance up at the clock and find that my time for immediate rest is running out faster than programmed.

The clouds too have expressed their resentment by displaying a loud thunder and the following rain is I believe an indicator that the strong patter shall act as that soothing sound needed for a good nights sleep …

Good night dear ones …

Amitabh Bachchan

ps : the pics are from Kolkata St Xaviers visit … enthusiasm at its utmost !

Jul 28, 2011
Day 1195

Kolkata, West Bengal                   July  27,  2011                  Wed  10 : 29 PM

First off … thank you Tumpa, Binita, Rajesh and Shiladitya for visiting me here in the Hotel in Kolkata and for all your kind words and the lovely memorable gifts you have left for me. Your enthusiasm and your love for the blog and its various manifestations, your impatient queries and your keenness in all that I do, was most endearing. Stay well and safe … and in happiness !!

So … I came in here early morning to Kolkata for the promotions of ‘Aarakshan’ and went drove straight to the press conference in the Park Hotel – a hotel on the most exciting street of urban Calcutta then in the 1962′s and on. This Hotel was built in front of our eyes in those early days. Its ground domain was the more popular area in those heady days of the very first job and freedom. Trinka’s, Moulin Rouge, Mocambo, Blue Fox, Flurys … the list was endless … all in one row all within hopping distance of each other, all our evening haunts after office. The Sunday Jam Sessions in Trinka’s being the prime destination and one where it would be difficult to get even standing space. It was a carefree spirit, a spirit of doing what one wanted to and wherever, with the simplicity of being one of the others.

And today as I drive in with a convoy of staff and security and am taken up to my room before the conference, I look out of the window and find myself staring at the street in front of me – Russell Street and a little further down the Clacton Apartments, where six of us shared one room – 10′x 12′ and had the happiest moments of our stay in this wonder city. During the 7 years that I spent here in Kolkata, did I ever imagine that I would find myself in such a situation 40 years down the line ? The answer is an emphatic no ! But fate is a frightening thought. It mitigates all else and positions one in circumstances that one would never even have imagined !!

The conference went well, the exit a bit enthusiastic and boisterous, but all in all satisfying. Next stop St Xaviers College, the most prestigious and renowned academic location in the entire eastern region of this state and country. Star News was doing a study of the moment with discussion and debate and filming it as part of a relay in the days to come.

The enthusiasm and passion that a Kolkatan possesses is their most vocal quality and they exhibit it with great freedom towards their celebrities. Thank you Kolkata for your great love for us mortals and for bringing back to me the most wondrous nostalgia of the past , the city itself …

There is such a flood of material and emotion that flows through as I sit and reminisce  those glorious days of the past. Time is short yet again today and I shall elaborate on some other day. For the moment though I shall leave you with just my signature and the hope of being with you again soon ..

Love to all ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 27, 2011
Day 1194

Jalsa , Mumbai                 July  26 ,  2011                   Tue  11 : 49 PM

It got late last night ! The film ZNMD, and then the blog and the twitter and a very early morning call. Went to bed by 3 am and up again at 4:30 am to start the day. The entire day has been filled with media interactions, live interviews with Taran Adarsh and print. Editor for the day with DNA and several overseas calls to radio stations in New Zealand, Australia, USA, UAE, South Africa and the BBC London. In between all this trying to make efforts on taking up the offer of Komal Nahata for his Rajasthani film that he had proposed somedays ago. Language, is where I shall have to work most seriously – the Rajasthani language ! Will make effort. Lets see !!

Most of the media interactions on the film ‘Aarakshan’ have been educative and of obvious sense – the subject making it so. And during these meetings there has been effort to determine what our personal views are on the reservation policy of the country, knowing fully well that this is a sensitive and often controversial subject, which when conflagrated by the flames of personal opinion, would provide them with sufficient fodder on channels and print headlines.

But, may I ask does anyone in the country have a justified opinion on the subject. A social order that has been with us through generations and centuries, cannot suddenly be separated from our system. There has been a caste based society and one that has caused enough debate and argument through the many formal and informal channels of our system, through ages. It has been a part of our moral and social structure ever since. Its sensitivity has had its presence felt in many walks of our lives. And keeping this in mind it has now found an important and most prominent representation in our Constitution, our democratic Parliamentary process, and the Supreme Court Justices of Law. Reservation is now a Constitutional truth. To remove it would tantamount to correcting the very basis of our democracy and our revered Constitution. I hope someday we can do it. But for the present it is a reality and will have to be adhered to.

For me individually it has meant the discrimination against certain sections of society based on caste and creed. I have never been a believer in the caste system and quite frankly have never been either exposed to it, or had sufficient knowledge of it. But this much I do know, that the caste has always been determined by the surname of an individual. A Sharma will be a Brahmin or a higher caste, a Singh a Kshatriya, a Mathur or Srivastav a Kayasth … and so on ..

So I ask those that question me, can you tell me my caste by reading my surname. Its Bachchan ! And what caste does that represent ? I shall tell you ! It will not indicate any. Because Bachchan is my Father’s non de plume, his pen name. And I am most proud of the fact that I am the first bearer of that title. When I was to be admitted to my very first School in Allahabad, the teachers asked what my name in the register should be written. My Father a kayasth, a Srivastav should have mentioned Srivastav, but he did not. He was a non believer in the caste system. He broke many social norms of the times then, when he married my Mother a Sikh. It was perhaps the first inter caste marriage for the city, and so naturally it created great rumblings in middle class India, steeped as it was in a conservative world.

So my Father made his non de plume my surname – Bachchan ! And started a generation since and after, of a family that one could not decipher the caste of, by reading the surname. I am proud and privileged that he chose to do so and feel honored to have been the creator of the first generation of Bachchans. When the Government authorities came around to take in the information on the Census of the country and asked me to fill in the form, I specifically put down INDIAN against the bracket called ‘caste’. The authorities insisted I mention my caste and I insisted on sticking to what I believed in. And that is how it has remained.

For me then to comment my personal views on the reservation issue is really redundant and immaterial. As the Principal of a private educational institution in the film, Dr Prabhakar Anand, is an erudite, idealist that even though has to succumb to the norms of the trust that runs the College, does believe in the equal opportunity required for those that do not have the means or the facility to educate themselves. And so in his own backyard he conducts teaching classes for those underprivileged children that have been deprived basic education because either they could not afford it, or were subjected to caste classifications and hence never had opportunity. He believes in a principled life. He does respect the upper class and caste and their academic qualifications as a result of them getting the desired education, but he also feels terrible for those who have not had the means or the facility to enter educational institutions because they belonged to backward classes, or did not have the economic strength to fill in the exorbitant fees required. The process of education, instead of becoming an individual right, has unfortunately, become a flourishing business venture, where capitation fees and high end coaching institutes have sprung up into a 40,000 crore ‘industry’ almost. What then and where to, those that cannot afford high monetary deposits, those that have been kept back purely because they had been stamped by birth to remain in a disadvantaged position throughout their lives, because they belonged to a caste that was either ‘scheduled’ or ‘backward’ !!

That is the crux of the fight for equality, for providing opportunity and then on merit to be judged fairly without caste deprivation. The fight for Dr Prabhakar Anand is one where he accepts that two India’s exist in this one land. And that in the truest sense, if we were to seek the betterment of our society, then the distance or gap between the two India’s must be wiped out.

To say that this a phenomena that exists only in our part of the world would not be entirely correct. Discrimination because of caste creed color religion has been a factor that has had predominance in every society of the world. And it still prevails. Some blatantly without any remorse, some more discreetly. There is an ‘Aarakshan’ taking place in every corner of the world each day. A harsh, yet true fact.

Merit must be respected. That should be the consideration. Yet providing opportunity to all sections of society is also pertinent.

They ask me if I have ever faced discrimination because of ‘reservation’. No ! I have not. If and when I have failed it has been because I was inadequate in my qualifications, not because I belonged to a particular caste. And, so long as I live this is what the generation of Bachchans started by my Father, shall believe and respect …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 26, 2011
Day 1193

Jalsa , Mumbai                   July  25/26,  2011                      Mon/Tue  2 : 24 AM

Commitment and concern are the two essentials in any relationship, and the one that we have built here for the past so many DAY’s is no different. I regret the delay that features at the top of the page through the timing, but late or other I must make sure of my connect with my FmXt .. !!

It has been an exhausting day. Starting up early to the gym and then straight on to the Mehboob Studios for promotional activities on ‘Aarakshan’ have taken up the entire day and most part of the night. There has really been no respite, but all in good cause and effort. And then when it was all over, Abhishek called to say that Farhan Akhtar had invited us to see ‘ZNMD’ – Zindagi na Milegi Doobara .. so rushed there and have only just returned.

It is a delightful film, different and presented in such a novel manner. Male bonding over a travel trip and some of the most natural performances recently seen. Farhan and Abhay Deol were a delight to watch and of course Hritik moved like a dream .. Honey, Farhan’s mother has invested well in her children. Zoya, Farhan’s sister has directed the film in a most easy and natural manner. Congratulations !!

Meanwhile India has lost the first Test to England at Lord’s and the defeat has been most convincing. India were routed well before the challenged total they had to scale and all hopes of a second innings revival a la some previous matches, did not work very well .. But we look ahead to the next test and hopefully an opportunity to better the performance.

I must to bed now for tomorrow, or well today I have to be up by 4.30 am .. thats in another 2 hours !

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 26, 2011
Day 1192

Prateeksha , Mumbai                July  24 , 2011                     Sun  12 : 47 PM

Consternation at the ‘stoppage’ of my writings on this medium from the early hours of the morning have stirred up sufficient strength within me to face oppression and abuse from those that ‘honor’ me and get back to doing what I believe to be right … write !! And so here I am at an unearthly hour amongst you, dispelling all fears that could and did come up.

Building a large number of enthusiasts could be trying and an exercise which in most respects demands effort and patience. Breaking it is the easiest – you merely disconnect. I prefer building. Its tougher. The other is an easy way out. Finding an easy way out could be a preferred option, but then what would life be without struggle. The pain and anxiety of creating is a lot more exciting than the art of looking at it from a distance and deriding it. Anyone can dictate to write off .. can they write to create ?

Reading seeing and hearing all the vivid descriptions of the carnage in Oslo, Norway has been such a disturbing and unbelievable moment. The madness of mankind in such state shows the vulnerability of life itself for us all. We live in times of trial and uncertainty, on hope and God’s will. The entire human community seems polluted with corrupt thought. What will it require to defuse that ? What would it need to be closer to sanity – those that propose saner elements often end up as victims, remembered, flowered and monumented in stone if of important caliber.

Were there a process within science to remove hatred and violent thought from the nature of the human, the world would be an enviable paradise. Medicine and medical scientists work tirelessly to remove disease from the future. So many examples of these have been enumerated so successfully. Can you please Mr Scientist remove the above as well .. save us from this every day devastation, this unbearable blow to our inner systems. We are all damaged, hurt and in deep pain. Deliver us oh lord from this unwanted occurrence. We have been tried and tested beyond all …. now protect and save us ..

The mock rehearsals for KBC continue and as the day draws near the apprehensions and fears begin to build. Each beginning brings along with it its fair share of the ultimate misgivings. Will I be able to do it ? Would it all work ? How would it all fare ? …. and so many more ..

It is a brave front that we put on to welcome such condition but deep within us we know how affected we are and what really plays on our minds. We are all actors on this wonderful stage of life, giving our best performances ever, never to be seen, never to be appreciated, never to be acknowledged. It remains hidden within us. Its naked truth sheltered and jailed somewhere within the deepest and darkest corners of our brain. There shall it remain, untold, for time immemorial. In death, exhumed in some, buried in others, or left to the elements, but unknown still.

The complexity of the mass that builds the human, the utter expanse of nature and its performance, the unanswered millions of questions has always been so awesome and wondrous. I wonder then, why we drift away from it to indulge in matters that form minuscule particles in this universe, bringing us no joy no discovery, but sheer fruitless endeavor and pain.

O ! maker of all that is bounteous and beautiful in this world, we have had enough of the evil and the devil. Spare us this day. Take us away to soft and gentle land of grace dignity and reverence. To peaceful environs, and pleasant talk. Of smiles and laughter, music and elation. Fill me up with this to the brim, and leave not an inch of space for the ‘other’ to prevail …

It is a Sunday today. A day of rest they say. Bring us the rest and the gentleness that we desire. The noise hurts and scatters the strings of harmony away from me. Tune me up to that measure of completeness and perfection in eternal sound – ethereal, balanced and fulfilling the heart …

My love and my prayer ….

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 24, 2011
Day 1191

Jalsa , Mumbai            July  23/24 ,  2011                     Sat/ Sun 1 : 15 AM

There is some sad news among our FmXt and I think it to be only proper that we extend our prayers and condolences to those affected -

To Sunita at the loss of her Father … and to Tatiana on the loss of her Mother …

We are with you in spirit and strength …

Someone read my Blog of last night and commented that I should really be taking some rest, for it was felt that the result of not doing so, translates itself to some rather inane and miserable writing .. !!

My words are my feelings that occur on the spur of the moment. They are not rehearsed or practiced, neither are they borrowed transcripts from some superior research work done by geniuses. They are mine and they do reflect incidents that I may have been through personally or read or heard about. But mine all the same …

And if there is a feeling among some that I should stop … well then … I stop .. !!!

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 24, 2011
Day 1190

Jalsa , Mumbai                    July  22,  2011                    Fri  11 : 30 PM

You can possess fame and fortune .. status and popularity, but they are not even worth a farthing if your mind is without value. Value can never and shall never be equated with ones materialistic accomplishments. It shall always be reckoned by the brilliance of your mind that guides the heart towards compassion. The ability to entertain the finer digits of such worth is what shall make our life human, balanced and acceptable. Selfishness to absorb all that emanates into your own, to acknowledge the distorted emblem of ego, to imagine in extreme falsehood that nothing develops or moves beyond the self, is an indelible dark and murky emblem of a mind that needs either to be avoided or treated.

The first sign and one that is unmistakably evident, is the unhealthy practice of finding fault and expressing disgust in all about and around you. It is undoubtedly the most perfect example of putting oneself in a position of superiority, without realizing that in fact it is a desperate attempt to conceal your own inferiority. That cannot and will not be ever a single one sided point of view in life. But those that imagine so, live in a terrible condition of ambiguity. And the deeper the resolve to rid themselves of ambiguousness, the greater the deterioration of the state of the mind.

What then often noticed, is the frequent change in temperament and opinion on matters that abound in daily existence, for, they encompass us with greater regularity than perhaps other more mundane experiences. A temperamental mind is a troubled mind, one that struggles to keep the state permanent. The temperamental mind is in some respects an acquisition, something akin to a pretty face or body. Nature gave it to us in all its glory. But in our penchant to develop something of ‘value’, we often develop that which is undesirable and forced. And so strong and determined is the need to be in possession of some attribute at least, all that is not required, is patronized and nurtured with great aplomb.

In our existence, if we shall always have a question for a question we shall never find any answers. Answers are an important element in our existence. They resolve, explain, bring semblance, sanity and balance. When you walk a tight rope the easiest part is to be unbalanced because it never requires much effort to be so. It is the dexterity with which we conduct each step with outstretched hands to keep us afloat, in the air and on the rope, that finally brings credit to our act. Shutting out reason, sane conduct, and the ability to imbibe rather than convey fact of knowalls, is a condition that shall never give one the goodness of an embrace. Life shall never envelop you. And it is important to be enveloped. For then life guards you fiercely.

I need the assurance of being guarded by life. Its the only protection I have. All the others are so cosmetic, limited and without character. My character is not something that came floating to me on a broomstick. My character is something that I should take pride in developing. Not just for myself but for all those that come in close contact with me. One should endeavor to be that one example that others pine for, or wish its presence. I may lose my fame and money and my status, but if I lose that element of my character which I did build independently, I have lost all …

I have great admiration for those that impart the stillness of their being, of their understanding and their ability to value the presence of their mind above all else. They are true humans and because they exhibit a facet of their possession which is in perpetual short supply, they stand out as different. One different person in a crowd shall always be labelled as that which is incorrect and wrong. Conversely they could also be singled out as almost Godlike for, God is but one – alone, aloof and unknown.

The ‘aakaar‘ of the unknown has troubled mankind from the moment of its first form. Which is why there are but limited Gods and limited religions. They deal with the same issues. And when there is the example of Godlike deed within humanity and on earthly beings, we hastily crown them as Saints.

Saints shall be in limitation. They ought to be, else there would be no suffering. A world without suffering spells utopia, a ‘ram rajya’, which we still crave and strive for, but know deep inside that it may never happen.

That same utopian condition that the human craves for is what we search among us for peace and well being. For the elimination of ego and self possessiveness. Of giving rather than wanting. Of accepting rather than accusing. Of pointing at ourselves in a mirror, than randomly at another.

It requires courage and strength to comply with what you have not. But let me also say that it does not require one to shake an entire world to acquire it. I shall seek because I will it to seek. And, I shall find because I wanted to find. Without effort the ability to accept change shall never fructify. One can either be determined to believe that what they possess is unshakeable and right and justified. Fair enough. But I am determined to let them know that not all situations in life shall put one in an unassailable position. I shall always fear that condition, but shall never be afraid of its consequences, because I know that I am never going to be perfect. And may I never be, for then I would miss that greatest of opportunities to improve … improve my temperament my mind and my being …

It is long and it is late and it is too theoretical tonight …. but …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 22, 2011
Day 1189

Jalsa , Mumbai          July  21/22 ,  2011                  Thu/ Fri  1 : 43 AM

There are the beginnings of the game show KBC taking place and there are the warm and affectionate evenings of family and relatives. Both are earnest, affectionate and enduring. KBC begins its round for perhaps the 5th time on the 15th of August and the family and relatives began their togetherness by late evening. The joy of sharing episodes of the past, the years gone by, events and important get togethers or shared occasions compares beautifully with the recollections of the past episodes on KBC.

Fresh additions to the game, to make it more viewer friendly and participative are discussed and executed. So also the fun and frolic of the past moments shared with the relatives, comes up. The viewing of old footage of the family, the identification of the years gone by, the factor of passing age, the emotions expressed as we see our loved and dear ones hale and hearty mixing and mingling with their usual gusto, now gone forever … leaving us bereft of the emotion that is generally associated with such moments. A wedding, a function of personal recollection and on …

The KBC is no less. The years gone by the recounting of some prominent moments. Victories, defeats and then the winnings and the exceptional encounters with committed performers, all form such a glorious palette. The fresh ideas and inventions that bring the viewers closer home, coincides with the attempts that all relative family meetings are all about.

Maybe I just force this comparison on my readers, but I have not deliberately thought this one out. Matter seems to flow as we write and this then brings us closer home to the fact that, too much rehearsing takes away rather than bring us together . With family the informality and the care free air that prevails is indeed quite unique. So too with the game show – discomforting, easy and beneficial.

Moot point is, that if the two were to meet, we would have another unique situation. Family participates alongside during broadcasts of KBC. It is the one game show that has the capacity to do so. And if KBC has the capacity to bring all together to share and observe to perhaps join in, then all fingers point to a rather successful evening.

I look forward to the time when we shall be able to execute this and feel for ourselves the importance of coming together, for a cause that can become sincerely educative and knowledge boosted.

At the opening of a wellness center operated by my trainer, I discover that the usage of weights and other heavy equipment is not really a necessity. The same could be done through elastic ropes hung on to bars that are designed to hold over 600 kg. There are some very normal and casual modes of exercise which when performed, take care not just of the muscles in the system but also an overall toning up, with a bit of yoga thrown in. The entire concept of weights and treadmills and other sorts has been or will be eliminated soon and we would have to move up with the times. This procedure is good, but am not so sure if it can be result oriented.

So also then, to those that attempted to do what most of us did and still do … move aimlessly  towards the goal without raising any suspicion. Were we to we would all lose or be asked to lose. Everyman is important in this war. The war between ourselves and the selves of others. In today’s fast ranged and fast moving facilities, must be admired for the persistency of keeping the audience adhesive like to the screens. Tv gets bigger by the moment. Its reach and influence has become monstrous. It is today changing decisions, erecting bodies that investigate, because a certain channel has discovered a smile and a look of suspicious and intrigue, which when examined carefully shall bring result.

I must do well in the preparations for the Tv for KBC .. and I must get together the family in general. Not necessarily in that order, but order all the same. Disciplined order is the command of the day. And if ever I were to be asked whether I would enroll, for the sake of country and life of those entrapped, …

I would say I am an Indian first born and brought up without ever having to give in to the authorities that ask for clarification on my designation … my birth designation .. i will not, because I have believed under it and am the happiest that I did …

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 22, 2011
Day 1188

Jalsa , Mumbai                 July 20/21 , 2011                 Wed/ Thu  1 : 38 AM

There is soft music playing during the lunch organized by the ladies in the house, distant nostalgic and old world songs by the the greatest, Lata Mangeshkar. I cannot say why I put it on, but on I did and for some reason the food the atmosphere the bearing while we on the table seemed most receptive, calm and digestive !!

In the West grace forms the reverential beginning of the meal. In our part of the world a gentle prayer, a sprinkling of the water around the thali or plate in front of you, an eyes shut and touching the food first with the hands and then to the forehead, as would be done in a temple before the deity forms the general routine.

Food has been considered close to divinity at all quarters. Its what we are born with, to exist, to grow, to keep our systems alive and active. Its what we work for, study for, live for and continue for. In Hindi we often respond to a question as to why we do certain things, or when you query me on why I work so hard, with a ‘paapi pet ka sawaal hai’  … ’tis the question of the sinned or evil stomach … !!

The stomach forms our main body part. It controls our health and bearing. It is the point of the umbilical chord, often used metaphorically when describing the beginning or the life of any situation. It is also the muscle that is most frequently used, apart from the tongue. If the stomach is right all else is.

It needs the reverence it gets. I have no objections to it and no issues either. But look at what it entails – diet and food and delicacies and different kinds of millions of eatable categories to keep it healthy and pleased. When it gets upset with what you load it with, it retaliates, throws it apart. Its an obedient part, which when treated with honesty and reserve, shall deliver.

It is thus natural  then that human kind paid attention to it in large measure. And hence the prayer. A thanksgiving in what we are respecting … ‘For what we are about to receive , may the Lord make us truly thankful, .. for Christs sake … Amen !!!’ , is the common ‘grace’ said before each meal as we stare at the array of delicacies before us. But in many ways it is a thanks giving to the Lord for having provided, for, there are millions in the world that never get provided ! There is a joy in feeding. The wife gets the complete satisfaction when she feeds the husband and the child. ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ .. !! The cook and those that cook get the greatest satisfaction when they prepare something for another. There is nothing more satisfying than to see the expression of the hungry after they are fed. Its Godly ! I cannot say about the West, but here in our country there is a certain shyness when you give the food. I have observed that they take the offering and move away to some secluded spot and eat almost in secrecy. The pet dog when given something out of schedule shall move away from where he received it to a private corner and devour it without being disturbed. Want to annoy your pet while he is at meal time, go and disturb him or her. There she be a sharp dislike irrespective of how obedient they are for most of the day.

What a lot of etiquette and design has gone into preparing stuff that feeds us. What aesthetics have been put in place to reflect the process of the meal time. And so much more … it is simply so fascinating… !!

A newborn child shall not know how it should speak, but knows where the mouth needs to go to be fed ! Conquests wars and battles have all centered around the fact that usurping another territory meant the security and guarantee of food.

Food is the blessed component of our existence and hence the reverence and prayer for it …

‘ya devi sarva bhuteshu khshuda rupena sansthitha .. namastasyaee, namastasyaee, namastasyaee namoh namaha’

Invoking the goddess to feed us .. and in prayer !!

But the most endearing moment of the day. A film recovered by Jaya of our wedding, June 3, 1973 and to see my parents alive and moving .. to see Jaya’s father and relatives alive and moving .. to see so many of us younger and innocent and without care …

And now …. ??

Good night and love …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 20, 2011
Day 1187

Jalsa , Mumbai                      July  19 ,  2011                         Tue  11 : 39 PM

Up early and looking into the mirror at a horror .. mornings when young and fresh and excited are so much better to watch .. age is a struggle out of bed, getting the body mobile … stiff in parts, twisted in other .. but with mobility comes a fluidity that lasts the day … somehow .. !! And once on the tread mill with the drinks and health fluids, life suddenly seems bright, even though the sun does not put in its presence .. yet !!

There is a quickness in the step and mind, early hours .. all things creative and to do seem to appear the best in that morning hour .. the blog , the computer, the Vog … those important phone calls, the decisions for the office .. responses to well wishers, management, letters … and then finally on the road .. wet and crowded and traffic jammed …

Driving to Film City to the fresh new and extremely well structured Reliance Media Works studio where there is the need to participate in X Factor – the talent contest for singers !! Judges of eminence - Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Shreya Ghoshal and Sonu Nigam and then the contestants specially turned out to perform old songs of mine, dressed in similar costume … such a humbling experience ! Walking back to my seat miss the step and stumble, almost crashing my face onto the judges table … dear me .. looked so foolish .. but ..

Its pouring through out the day .. it is grey and dark and moist and delightful .. Tv programming has become such an arduous exacting job .. hundreds of people working for that one hour of broadcast .. incredible .. management, control, aesthetics everything that can go to make the show look good ..

I fear to judge .. swore I would never do it after I was a judge on the panel that selected Miss World in South Africa .. feel so bad and helpless when you have to put one above the other .. just cannot cannot do that … and so at X Factor I leave it to the better judgement of the panel .. the three S’s – SanjayShreyaSonu …

The performers all from small towns and so full of devotion to the arts and the craft … emotions running high as each group comes along and performs to a well seated audience of over a 1000 .. there is a sense of remorse when the judges pull up a contestant, tell him he did not perform well .. heart wrenching moment that for the poor contestant as he/she stand alone on stage to face the negative.

But the spark in their talent and the desire to achieve so strong that it passes by .. ready to do their best another day before the finals .. and then ..

In office meeting up with that small little power house Harsh, the star of the film ” I am Kalam ” produced by the Smile Foundation that works tirelessly for the underprivileged, providing them with opportunities and hope for a better future .. to excel and achieve ..

Harsh a confident alert and most vocal little fellow .. has won the National Award this year as the best child artist and now has travelled in to Mumbai from Delhi to meet me and then go back.. simply admire these qualities of amateurs finding their way into the industry and so savvy with all the necessary and required equipment for film .. !!! And then …

Komal Nahata brings in a project which he and I have been discussing for a while and we get down to working out the modalities with a fresh director and perhaps a recognized corporate house … a most interesting subject .. lets see where that goes .. should have some screen play and script in place for me to read and comment .. have heard the story idea and liked it .. so .. another film another production another challenge and another opportunity to get to the audience …

One reads and watches on the box the whole saga of the Murdock empire .. some interesting facets some not so .. some interesting faces, read Rebekah Brooks, and some not so  … but getting back to Rebekah, one senses a mysterious quality in her being, a half smile desperately trying to pierce the forest of red hair that falls carelessly over her face .. there has been a debate of some importance in the British Parliament with the Murdocks and one is anxious to see it .. as soon as I get over this blog, this connect this reason for my restlessness through out the night …

There is nothing quite as disturbing than media going wrong. They are the custodians of propriety honesty and sincere reportage and information … to find them at the receiving end is not a happy sight to behold .. no failure is !! But to see media fail, and accept it, is a sight that most of us would never have seen or would want to … its like watching that treasured object of desire fall and crack into a thousand pieces … never to be fixed again …

Where all this would lead us to is unknown .. would this affect the media and how it functioned in our country .. would this be the end of all that is corrupt in the media … funny that we should use the ‘corrupt’ word for an institution that has always believed that ” the truth involves us all …. ”

Would the Murdock episode give a handle to other elements in the media world our end .. would they be accused of trying to fix Governments and influence politicians and the police .. or am I being too naive !!

Time to find out what transpired .. my love to all

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 19, 2011
Day 1186

Jalsa , Mumbai                    July  18 ,  2011                      Mon  11:10  PM

There is purpose in a good nights sleep. Eyes shut by 10 or even 11 provides, it is spoken, the best of the night slumber. I tried it last night after ages and it … works !! Up by 6 am and off to the gym and off to Prateeksha and off to work and right next to Sridevi, after like many moons … such a delight to be working again in front of camera with her … still the same effervescent, spontaneous, delightful Sri ..

Inside a Boeing 747 .. film directed by R Balki’s wife Gauri titled ‘English Vinglish’ … a small one day cameo … women power at its peak .. ladies all about and the ratio heavily in favor of them. It is not too far when they shall take over the world … EF ladies do nod in approval please .. this to be not appeasing the girls, it is factual and believable and doable .

And so … to future work and what lies in store for me in the days and months to come .. talks on with Ashutosh Gowariker, Rakeysh Mehra, and a few other projects of films that would be in the making during the year or perhaps early next. What is immediate is of course the release of ‘Aarakshan’ first and almost simultaneously KBC. Ram Gopal Varma with ‘Department’ starts soon .. another edgy intrigued story of today virtually .. and no, not with the gore and sex ! There is some excitement within the digital world for the Vog, available now in India and UK. Its *5000* here in India .. and will get you the UK soon .. India now at 33 lakh subs .. thats like 3.3 million .. whopppeeee ! that is a big number but still lots to go … tomorrow I do the Talk2Me for an hour late evening and must say its an absolute joy to connect live with millions of people all over the country … I speak to them through the Vog every morning though in Hindi and in English, in two separate versions, so I do hope that some of you are listening in ..

Meanwhile the news on ‘Aarakshan’ is that it was shown to the censors today and they have unanimously given it a UA Certificate without a single cut. And apparently they got in the largest panel of members to see it, including various dignitaries and representatives from those committees and commissions that represent areas that were feared could be controversial !! That is quite an accomplishment I should say by the director and his film, considering that there was a great deal of talk on the possibilities of it becoming so !

‘Aarakshan’ a film on the reservation policy of the country where the issue of securing placements in education and jobs with the intent of providing provision for the under privileged and the poor and for those that get affected because of their caste. A film that looks deep into the commercialization of the educational system, of capitation and equal opportunities, of coaching institutes for those that are affluent, of luring the best teachers to them to secure good merit … at a fee of course ! A bold and intense look within, not taking any sides, but working along with them to a level of awareness and possible solution … August 12 th .. all over the world .. Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone, Prateik, Manoj Bajpai and a host of very talented artists with music by the trio Shankar Ehsan Loy … and the glorious classical number sung by that eminent exponent of the raga, Channulal Misra from Varanasi … ‘kaun si dor kheechay, kaun se kate re’ …

Must to bed now to catch that beauty hour of sleep .. got some important promotions to do tomorrow .. in particular as guest on Sony’s X Factor, that talent show with Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal ..

Love to you

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 18, 2011
Day 1185

Jalsa , Mumbai                      July  17 , 2011                          Sun  9 : 47 PM

As the strains of the theme tune from ‘Limelight’ , Charlie Chaplin’s masterpiece , engulf your entire being, you feel the strings tugging at your insides in pathos and the beauty of its composition. They are by far the most simplest notes ever. Much like that solitary sitar piece from Satyajit Ray’s ‘Charulata’ as she in the opening sequence walks from window to window alone and lonely in her home …

Its the simple things in life that have the most lasting effect. Chaplin’s Limelight was a film that remained with me during the 50′s when as a young school going senior my Mother had taken me to see it in New Delhi. The haunting melody of the theme gets your hair on end even now, as does that last sequence in the film when he slips on stage and falls inside the drum – ‘ … i’m stuck .. ! he says with a smile on his face when we all know that he has virtually broken his spine ..

And this afternoon as we run through the list of films that appear on the tv screen, we suddenly stop at ‘Chaplin’ the film directed by Richard Attenborough, with that master with the camera Sven Nykvist and a host of some of the most brilliant actors from the world of cinema. And playing the lead role, that actor who many rate as the best, well I certainly do, Robert Downey Jr. What a performer and what an actor ! An actor I feel that has never been given his due. One that perhaps strayed a little due to his drug abuse, but one that has come out of that successfully and still continues to surprise us in film after film ..

We have sat and watched it in a silence that such films deserve, for, not only does the film do great justice to the genius of the character itself, but also the finesse with which the performer holds every bit of your attention right till the last sequence.

And one wonders as the quiet after the credits role takes over, whether there shall ever be occasion  for someone in our world to make something similar. Its a continuation I would like to believe of what transpired last night on the tele when we connected with Nargis ji and her tribute that was broadcast. remaining in that same frame of mind there evolved a discussion on the trends and the era of those greats at the dining table. And some every enlightening moments of debate ensued. Of the fluency of the language that prevailed among the artists then and how brevity of speech and other distractions have taken over now. The factor of time and lesser distractions, the only form of entertainment, of the youth and their ways of change through generations, all forming legitimate reasoning throughout the informal talk. Change brings development and progress. And change shall always be looked at cynically by the generation that has gone by. Each generation shall always play true to the present and how wonderful it is. The older and the elder shall always lament the lack of ingenuity now, and harp on ‘those were the days’ …

And it is most interesting that the debate continues even in the studios of today among many and I find myself in a unique position of having been with ‘those days’ and having the privilege of being with the ‘now’. The average age on set must be 25 or 30 today. For a 70 year old that is a frightening difference to find himself among these youngsters. But it is I must agree a most educative experience for me. I enjoy the agression and determination to succeed among the young. Their passion and their confidence in never getting rattled by any circumstance. The relaxed devil may care attitude and the strength of being capable to deliver what they conceive or set out to do … I just love it … and I hope and pray that some small portion of their countenance would rub off accidentally on me so I could be better equipped in their circumstances .. !!

And as tomorrow dawns I creep into bed with apprehension .. its Balki again doing domestic service – producing film for the wife and has me in for a day’s cameo with SriDevi .. !!

Allow me then the departure to prepare and be rehearsed .. to take care of the butterflies that are being dowsed as I write, with liquid shakes from the kitchen, prepared with care and attention by Jaya ..

Good Night all and wish that all goes well tomorrow … !!

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 17, 2011
Day 1184

Jalsa , Mumbai                      July  16/17 , 2011                  Sat/Sun  1 : 18 AM

As I wait for the appointments to mature during the late afternoon, I sit myself down in front of the ‘black and white’ unknowingly, unaware and without purpose. And as the lights appear on the board signaling the operation in process is complete, the chords begin to vibrate on their own at the touch of certain ‘white’. Further down the mixed line of keys to sound, the fingers touch the smooth plasticated oblongs stuck close to each other in one symbolic orchestral embrace. A depression on one brings in the melody of instrument, the other the rhythm of percussion, and then it all plays out in related symphony. Of sound without a purpose or need. Sound for the sake of sound, but gratefully in keeping with the note of approval. The mind sings, the fingers move hesitantly ; for they are untrained and not worthy of music. The volume pushes it forward, the pedal at the feet expands it to levels of echo and of stretched note. Before you move to the next, the one before still rings loud and in continuity. Not much is heard, but what is, moves the elements of music to the ear. The eyes shut at times, the fingers search the ‘whites’ unsure whether they reach the correct spot and then … bliss !! Not a care or concern of the world, or life or work and commitment. Just the wave of connection with the purest symbol of godliness – well tuned sound in correct note …

Almost hours pass by .. unknown. It has this effect, music. And you almost wish it would never end. But it does abruptly with a crackle of electricity and we are down to earth and reality and greetings and formality and positioning and mundane speech on schedules and stories for the future. You wonder at times whether we registered any at all. But polite diplomacy and protocol never killed anyone, and so you concur and agree and approve without perhaps having understood the reason or intent. Does it really matter ? Get me the work, get me the story, get me the character, get me out of here and on to the floor, the camera, the people and co stars … just get me out …

When there is nothing there is television. However did we live in those early years without it. How symbolic and needful a tool it has become to compensate for conversation. And there through various breaks a journey of the lovely and distinguished Nargis from the time of birth to the time of rebirth. Fascinating nostalgia. A historical journey through time and cinema and the greats that trod the bastions of the varied studios of those times. What an era that was – of Nargis and Madhubala, of Waheeda Rehman and Nutan and Suraiya, Meena Kumari, Dilip Kumar, Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Guru Dutt, Bimal Roy, Mehbood Khan, K Asif, Shankar Jaikishen, Naushad, Motilal … and the names just keep flowing, dwarfing us all in one large sweep. How incompetent and unqualified and inferior we feel in the reflection of just their names. Truly a Golden Era of endless talent and superiority .. never perhaps to be relived again ever …

That is the tragedy of time. It comes, lives and passes by, never to return. What remains is the reflection. Reflection to reflect and remember, and that is all …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 17, 2011
Day 1183

Jalsa , Mumbai                       July  15,  2011                           Fri  11 : 24 PM

An emptiness .. nothingness .. and desires to abstain from the regular .. let life go by, by itself,  unassisted, unprepared, underplayed … let it unfold beyond the limits of our horizon, whatever that be ..

We are at times victims of such thought .. today is one such day, one such moment ..

Perhaps the proceedings of the past few days and hours .. the sudden ineptitude that engulfed us unawares, has insulated us from what is expected and desired by the world. Leave me alone I scream, do not inform me of the regular, the mundane the routine .. allow and permit this without any holds .. let me drift away from the shore unaided .. to breathe and to withdraw from whatever it is I need to with draw from ..

Solitude is a blessing .. to search, to investigate within, and to discover, that all that was required was not what we were seeking but, indeed some other. It generates a freedom hitherto unknown and uncharted .. it dispels all regular responsibilities, brings in a vacuum a blankness, so essential for existence …

Why must I do what I do when it is not mine .. why must the burden of its relevance be of any bother .. why is it such a pain to alienate oneself from what we had aligned ourselves with … it was so irrelevant, so undesirable .. be ourselves, be within and be … just be …

By now you may all be of opinion that it is time for me to rest my weary bones and not indulge in inane conversation. It is but natural to do so when indeed the main artery fails to bleed. How then does one .. bleed. Injure self, inflict deliberately pain misery and injury .. no ! I should not think so ..

I think it would be best to leave it for another 24 hours … another day perhaps would bring another perspective … would it really ? Ahhh ! but that has always been the unanswered question .. best that it remain so – unanswered, undesired ..

Another day perhaps, all the thoughts that have been presented on the table shall be brought forward … some with legitimate response … most without … !! I would give the ‘without’ another chance .. another shot in the dark … who knows it might just work ..

Good night !!

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 15, 2011
Day 1182

Sopaan , New Delhi                 July  14,  2011                          Thu  11 : 39 PM

An entire day gone by, talking, discussing, commenting and … lamenting over the state of affairs after the dastardly bombing attacks in Mumbai. The mind sways from dismay and helplessness to surges of deep anger. What does one do in a situation like this ? When you remain quiet, you are accused for not saying anything. When you say something, you are abused for the rottenness of your thought. We dislike it when the authorities seem complacent, and are cynical when they are seen to be taking greater interest. Those that extend information to the world, ask the sufferers the time it took for help and assistance to arrive, and compare its timings with the previous incident ! What is this, an Olympic event ? So Roger Bannister of the United Kingdom broke the 4 min mile barrier and Mr Usain Bolt of Jamaica did the hundred in a ridiculous 9.58 secs  ?? Is this the kind of comparison we need in an hour of crisis, in an hour of a terrorist attack ?? !! When politicians come to the sight of the act, they are accused of coming in for a stroll and when public anger builds, get sacked. When they do not come they are accused of disinterest towards what the common man goes through. Debates are run on every Tv channel among the knowledge glitterati of the nation, to assess the situation and end up in sling matches between opposing political parties.

Does the person who has unfortunately lost a near and dear from the family ever take any interest in the proceedings of the knowledged ? Is he or she ever going to be ??

Those that are in the profession of asking questions shall always be at a formidable advantage. The ones that answer shall always be weak and defensive. They that ask, defend themselves by charging us on what we are doing for the situation, instead of merely sitting behind closed doors and writing blogs and twitters. May I ask them what they are doing ?? Since the attack I have been inundated by media requests to come live on their respective channels to comment on the situation. They entice me by saying my word counts, it will bring calm and comfort. Rubbish ! It shall bring nothing of the sort. On the contrary it shall only anger the sufferers more, who will look upon it as exploiting a situation for our personal or professional benefit. ” Must be having a film on release ” would be the refrain, which is why he is giving these interviews ! But then the media is right too – ‘when you do have a film on release, do you not come willingly for promotional activities to us ?’. A fair argument, but one that endorses dual purposes. The film and star gets visibility. The station and channel get their eye balls ; stars not being a regular feature on Tv !

What then is the correct logical and accepted approach. Do not ask us to appear on such occasions and comment because in any case we are going to be judged in that as well – ‘ its easy to sit within the safe confines of your home, and speak junk .. shut up ! we don’t need your views ‘ !!

And what of the media. Are they not risking life and property in bringing the news to you, which in other circumstances we would never be aware of ? But do they feel the pain as do the victims or is it just another day at their job – ‘ get a shot of the bodies, blood laden if possible, quotes from those on way to hospital, inside hospitals with the patients, grief stricken weeping relatives … ‘ and then, ‘stay with us as we take a break, for when we come back, we will be talking to some more victims’ and cut to, the advantages of a particular drinking water, the latest car on the horizon, a face whitening cream or blade and the cement for generations to come !

I was there in USA, in fact flying in to New York on 9/11 that fateful day. Never, for at least three to four days into the incident, did I see any channel break for any commercials. That is respect. Would we here in our country be ready to do that ?

I see and hear anger and frustration towards incompetence in the protection processes for citizens. When an attack such as this happens and is not controlled, this is a natural reaction. We never react when attacks have been prevented, because it is not spoken of. That needs to be appreciated as well.

I hear hundreds of voices demanding that we have to do something, yet nothing concrete comes of it. What really can we do ? It is not as though the system is unaware of the situation, it is and it does whatever possible. What it requires I feel is for us to be involved as well. Involved in being vigilant, aware, conscious … We are a nation that unfortunately along with our many other severe problems, has now added another to its list – terrorism !

“Ask not what the country can do for you. Ask, what you can do for the country !”, expounded John F Kennedy, in one of his most memorable speeches to the nation. We need to be our own individual ‘policemen’ our own vigilantes, who shall look and observe and and be conscious of what goes on around us all the time. We are all vulnerable and we need to be putting in our own effort too during this vulnerability. If all of us are watchful to our surroundings, I am certain we can contribute greatly in lending support to the formal security forces of the country. Let every individual know that he or she is being watched and noticed. Yes it is not the ideal situation in a free country and environment, but then the condition too is not ideal. Let us all undergo a training exercise on some basic anti terror actions. Make it mandatory for every citizen, I shall be the first to join !! There are many nations in the world that, finding themselves in such condition have exercised this option. Israel and Korea come to mind off hand, not to forget the US of A some years ago.

And yes … the most important factor – TALK ! Talk to the adversary, understand why they insist on such deed, attempt to discover solutions, get him on your side. In a war where the enemy is faceless and unknown, this is the only feasible process to ease the matter. Never ever lose this option, even if it misguides. At least you know that you were wrong. In the other we will never know whether we were right .. or wrong !!!

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 14, 2011
Day 1181

Sopaan , New Delhi              July 13 , 2011                        Wed 11 :53 PM

Another dark night in the city of Mumbai and another dark moment for the nation. Blasts in three of the most congested areas of the city have been devastated by IED’s , improvised explosive devices, causing the deaths to many and the injured into the hundreds …

We had just flown in to Delhi by the afternoon and I had been sharing the joy and happiness of the entire family being together after such a long time – the Nanda’s, the Rai’s and all of us along with the children. We were here for the honor ceremony by the French Embassy for Aishwarya, bestowing upon her the medal of honor in the Arts and Letters. Minutes before we were all set to leave for the function, the news started trickling in on the blasts in Mumbai and we stopped in our tracks too shocked and dismayed at what had happened yet again in this beautiful city of ours. The first reaction of course was for the safety of people, but as time passed by the horror of those killed and injured became prime.

Aishwarya who had already reached the location, rightly, after consultations and advice from us has decided to cancel any celebrations for the French Honor and has declined to accept the medal on a day when the country was reeling with this fresh menace that had just occurred in the city. The occasion has been postponed. We are back in our homes in Delhi and have requested the honor programme to be put to to another day. It would not be proper to celebrate a personal achievement, when this horrific tragedy of wanton and meaningless killing has occurred in Mumbai.

Many of our friends and well wishers have been sending in messages of concern to us. We are all safe, but our hearts go out to the families of those that have lost their lives and have been injured.

Yet again our city of Mumbai has been made the target of a brutal attack. Once again there shall be concerned voices raised by those in authority. Once again Mumbai will show its resilience and get back to work as rapidly as possible. Once again Tv channels shall give exclusive reports from the site of the action, claiming, how they were the first to bring this tragedy to your doorstep. At the end of the day, even when you are fighting an adversary the desire, by certain forces to capitalize on the situation does not change. And it does leave a very bad taste in the mouth. Once again the city shall limp back to normalcy and in a few months the incident will be forgotten. Fresh and more inventive topics shall rule the roost.

This is the nation, the country, the polity … we identify ourselves with it. It is ours and we shall defend its sovereignty through the years and years of association and strong determination.

Stay well dear FmXt ….

Love,

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 13, 2011
Day 1180

Jalsa , Mumbai                 July  12,  2011                   Tue  8:30 PM

Promoting films has become as important and time consuming as making them ! The element of bringing to notice this vast multitude and inviting them to come and see it within a week, for that is the duration of most films these days, at least as an indicator for their commercial prospects, has now become the yardstick. We never had it in our time and neither were we ever conscious of it. It was left to the producer and the distributor how it needed to be exploited. But times have changed now. There is greater awareness as far as communication goes ; mediums of which have increased a million fold. The funding and the investment involved is too large to be given space and time for 25 or 50 weeks to gain recovery. The popularity and the time span for films or for that matter any other communication device has limitations. On Tv, by the evening the most important news gets stale. On film, the very next week people are talking of the next release. Speed and attention have reduced our mind set to get over any aspect with a certain rapidity and move on. Move on because, there is something to move on to. It wasn’t so in the earlier days. And so we succumb to the dictat of the times. Television, the radio waves, internet, mobiles, have all taken up the space that had lain vacant and not utilized.

We live in a world where quick fixes, quick results, rapid speech, immediate reaction and result are the desired elements. Bless the new generation and change. Without fresh thought and change there would be no progress. Rapid speed brings in a vacuum. And those that cannot attach themselves to the pace, will live and suffer in that bottomless, airless space. Perhaps to be able to just breathe sufficiently well, but never move on. Catch up ! or Shut up !

The process is repetitive. The same questions answered with the same content, but with a face and expression as though it is being heard for the first time. Much like acting in front of the camera. The greatest test for any actor is to play his lines when ‘action’ is activated in a manner that suggests that they are being heard for the first time. They are not, but. We get them months ahead and at least days before it is going to be shot. We also live with them on set, rehearse several times, give retakes of it, but each time it is played, it is played as though it is being heard for the first time. The expression and the performance then, is the real test of an accomplished actor.

Rajni , Rajnikant never indulges in this practice. The practice of promotions. And on occasion when we talk film informally, he often questions me as to why I do this. Its like selling yourself like a product he often tells me. We laugh over it, but I explain to him that he is Rajnikant, he does not need it. For him it happens on its own. For lesser mortals like us we need to excite audiences, to propel them to take interest, to get them into the theaters !!

Great marketing minds and professionals work round the clock, monitoring, researching, what works and why and how a film needs to be sold to this very large and diverse audience. Extensive plannings are put in place and many serious discussions occur on design timings, opposition, pitch and many other such technical terms of which I am not too familiar. I would imagine the need to exist and to excel, propels us into all aspects of its achievements. Existentialism. In a philosophical sense – to exist as a free responsible agent determining their own development through independent will. Jean Paul Satre would probably whack me for bringing this theory in, through his popularized writings. But in an abstract way the power of independent will, does creep into this whole process of self aggrandizement and sale !!

Many ask me the need to do this, for, does it not hurt the entire theory of enigmatic presence, often related to celebrities in the medium of film. I joke with them and respond by saying that at age 70 what is the enigma you talk of. Life has become so informed, the whole mystique of the star value has been reduced to a click of a mobile camera phone !! You cannot go anywhere without being recorded for posterity. The paparazzi will and is omnipresent. It is the need of the hour. Not so much for us than for them and the media they represent … or sell to ! Competition in media is so acute, especially in the electronic that every little matter becomes matter of substance. And if it does not become it is made to become. That is the nature of the business and the opportunity and the freedom to run is entirely theirs.

The film ‘Rann’ did bring in this element. The media is the conscience of the nation. It is also a flourishing business. Do you then, compromise with your conscience to enhance your business, or compromise with your business to protect the purity of your conscience ! And today is it not ironic that the largest media group in the world – the empire of Rupert Murdock – falls prey to exactly that. Exposed and admitted that they conducted malpractices for the sake of sensational tabloid press. Of buying up silence to wrong deeds, even to the extent of hacking information from the dead !!

The power and control of public information and the strength it executes in guiding and ruling Governments, decisions that shall affect millions, putting people in postions of extreme execution … all controlled by one man and his intricate and well managed empire, the media !! That is a a very large price for humanity to pay.

And I ask today. When the largest and most respected institution of the fourth estate, indulges in such practice, is it too far fetched to naively believe that it does not happen at other destinations too, that are relatively lesser in profile. Rajdeep Sardesai and his wife Sagarika Ghosh who are the leading anchor journalists at CNNiBN did very bravely put this question out on their respective twitter accounts, but I never saw any responses to it of relevance. Have they inadvertently put their finger on a raw nerve ? Very fairly too, some of the more mature channels have held debates on the topic at prime time hours and reached some public opinion, interspersed with commercial breaks and mobile phone ins that create revenue. Even when they put out their own adversity, they make money ! The dichotomy of business and conscience plays here too, not too far away from the basic theme of a film that was rated on their own channel as a failure !!! Am I permitted to express a wry smile here, or will that be taken as a transgression towards media ethics from an outsider ???

There is much to speak out, but better judgement and prudence restrains me, as it indeed must. Prudence, because you never take on the media. The fear of repercussions against you at personal and professional levels is too large. You fear them because they control public opinion. For those in public life it is akin to committing harakiri. You shall never be able to match their power and strength. You either sleep with them, or prepare to sleep in a grave.

People in public life are exalted beings. Pedestalled, admired and loved. The commerce in media will only result when these exalted beings are brought down through fourth estate exposes. Writing good about the good is bad business. We are all humans, prone to mistake and error. We shall always be vulnerable. Best then to admit defeat and bear in silence, or conversely mollify them to keep their wrath at bay … much like what many did, as is now heard, with Rupert Murdock …

In peace and in extreme love towards the media ….

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 12, 2011
Day 1179

Jalsa , Mumbai                       July 11,  2011                           Mon  8:49 PM

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The Radio Mirchi team this morning, with team ‘Aarakshan’ in their studios … smart, bright, qualified, confident and happy ..

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Outside the CNNiBN studios later and the affectionate well wishers before the grilling begins inside ..

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Inside CNNiBN and an entire army of journalists and reporters with us ‘Aarakshan’ and the queries ..

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One over, another opens. One exuberant, the other restrained. One with lighter heart, and the other with issues. One location, one medium, one profession, one person – two different identities !

One, a flamboyant modern singing dancing, action oriented. The other brittle, principled, erudite but balanced. One fighting against elements that corrupt society, the other fighting against elements that corrupt the system. One victorious through feats of physicality to protect individual and personal, the other attempting to be victorious through deed and integrity.

Two films. Two stories. Two directors writers, musicians. Two productions. One common denominator.

I am privileged to be in a situation that denotes that denominator. I have not been in such company for some time, a long time in fact. Most of the epithets that come my way are constructs of the media – angry young man, angry old man, AB, aby baby, big b, big boots, star of the millenium, sadi ke mahanayak, shahenshah …

I have never identified myself with any, nor am I ever pleased in its reference. But you do not argue with the media, neither do you ever ever point to them of error. Media does such construction for ease of reference. It is their professional etiquette perhaps or a necessity. It is their ingenuity, their clasp of the medium. Their headlines or captions are their test and they are masters of it. With increasing competition they need to outsmart the other, in word and speed. Speed more, for, the electronic and the radio waves, the internet connects are moving at the speed of light. It must require an incredible amount of immediate response cycle and astonishing intelligence to be alert and inventive at notice time of … like … nothing ! That is an unbelievable quality requirement. And they live up to it and deliver day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute ..

They are proficient in their job. We aim to be proficient in ours. Our respective responsibilities are significant. Not just to those that contribute to us, but somewhere to ourselves as well. There is a desire within us to be diverse and different, to attempt variation for the betterment of our craft. Circumstances at times do not permit us to do that. Our own uncertainty and fears hound us through out. Once riden why get off on another horse. Why change tracks when there is no need to change direction. But those that assess us and watch us microscopically, keep insisting on us, as though it was a task not accomplished. It could be a way of inciting us, or it could be a genuine attempt to provoke us into submission. They may or may not be right, they have nothing to lose. We have and shall always have to be right, or perish.

I do sometimes get the impression that whenever someone that ‘has it all’ attempts to go that extra mile, to expand, to achieve, to accomplish, forces that govern opinion and information, sense a need to demolish the experiment. I may be wrong in my definition, but I am certain of the outcome – well … as far as certain cases are concerned. And I would not put it beyond me to place certain personal cases as example.

In the beginning there was light and camera and studio and the thrill of work. It soon transposes into the need for recognition through success.Then even greater success and finally to maintain the top most peak and remain there forever. But that is never a possibility. Never. You will stumble and trip and fall. Fatally at times and that would be the end of the road. There are those however that continue despite their slide, in the hope that they shall climb back up again. There are very limited examples of such occurrences. They are brave that attempt such form, but each passing day brings them closer to anonymity and extinction. If the desire is survival. Survival because of a need, then I would never insist or even comment on the effort. If not, then it is better to realize the inevitable and stop, maintain the position of excellence and not participate in the run. But of those that need to, without need. Who look upon it without effect or result. Who desire to because the craft is inviting enough. Who are besotted by the romance of the profession. For them the scales are different. They are not on the step wheel of life. For them it is the joy of company, of being in the midst, of being a part of .. and nothing more. And that is a state of liberation, of freedom.

Most freedoms the world over have been through arduous struggle and strife. No freedom has ever been achieved without it. May all of us be free. May all of us achieve that state. And may all of us recognize the struggle that accompanies it.

Love .. and with struggle

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Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 11, 2011
Day 1178

Jalsa , Mumbai                           July  10 , 2011                             Sun 8 : 39 PM

The chest condition recedes gradually .. the cough is more controlled .. the doctor is away on a short holiday .. the rains persist and pour .. a baby kitten has been noticed in the drive way almost hidden under the wheel of the parked car looking dazed and apprehensive .. the gym after such a long gap was such a beautiful welcome gift .. a dub soon after for a short addition for ‘Aarakshan’ completed the work schedule .. and a most exciting creative meet for a future production, kept the spirits high and volatile !!

Some moments later with the family .. and some moments after a corrective dub in the studio .. brought me in contact with some of the around 25 generation on future work .. and what a joy to see the excitement and fervor in their desire to make unconventional products, to dream and conceive with such alacrity and passion and hope ..

It is the most exhilarating feel to be in such company and the fear too of not crushing their expectations, but … every proposal comes with its own baggage and not necessarily compatible to suit circumstances .. but still .. the desire to accept and acknowledge change must be encouraged …

On driving back to Jalsa, for the Sunday fan meet .. to witness a most orderly distanced and somewhat sober audience, puts me in a question mark. But when the doors are opened they are back to the screams and the cheers and the world seems alive again .. was it the presence of an extra contingent of Police Cars about ? Were they disciplining the crowds ? I learn later that indeed that was so .. the fans collected like most other Sundays were roughed up and treated not to well – women and little children among them too. After the waving and the ‘namaskars’ and the cheers I find out more details and call the Station .. the matter is immediately looked into an within minutes a posse of officers arrive to explain their act .. and express apology for the incident. I am impressed by their promptness and their humility in their apology .. the crowd collects again and again I go out and greet the fans .. they are most happy .. a few minutes later they assemble again and I go out again … 3 times in one evening ! I must have done something right in my past life .. talking of which, the Times od India does a column on past lives and traces that I am the reincarnation of one Mr Booth of the 19th century or so, great Shakespearean actor .. pretty impressed .. but soon read ahead to discover that a relative of his was responsible in the assassination of Abe Lincoln !! Horrors !! I shall stick to being me and disclaim theory of reincarnates !! Ha ha ha !!!

Its on to ‘Aarakshan’ now and tomorrow starts with early morning radio and tv channels .. a different film a different role a different take on life .. film making is so flexible and challenging ! Will be on with all of you again in due course .. but till then a few visuals form this evening …

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Shanouk .. steps out to survey .. and find out what all the fuss is about .. !!!

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Crowd control .. and the fans and well wishers .. always a joy to see and meet them .. so generous and warm and affectionate .. the cops just doing their job, no issues ..

Wishing you a pleasant night and an even brighter morning !!

Love to all ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 10, 2011
Day 1177

Jalsa , Mumbai               July  9,  2011                Sat  11 : 27 PM

Its not what has been taken away from you that counts – its what you do with what is left that matters. The exact quote was from Hubert Humphrey, but it was relevant even in its broken form and hence its mention …

Much can get taken away from you. It must. Life would be worthless if we were to only receive and not give away. But getting left behind with whatever there is and to make life worthy and alive is what makes us worthy. We are born with some perfections and some disabilities and soon enough we realize our areas of incompetence. There are many that lament the imperfections, annoy their minds on the misfortunes, look upon others that possess more with envy and jealousy. But does it bring any result. No. They destroy themselves by continuous remark on their negativity and end up as traumatic wrecks. Consolation comes to them when they enhance themselves through substance abuse and other unnatural devices ; elevating themselves momentarily from the morass of their own building.

They are weak that resort to practices that consume rather than deliver. I may never ever deliver, but neither would I be entirely consumed with the burden of imperfections. I would strongly admit, rather than cover and disguise. I would let it be seen and shown rather than be hidden and unknown. There will descend an element of self consciousness when we do that. But better to be self conscious than to allow the other to fester and wound inside. What does one achieve by glamorizing the achievements we encounter. I would rather it lay dormant within and allow it to breathe on its own. Occasions such as this stand better chance for eventual recognition. Manufacturing competence, visibility, awareness, recognition, achievement, would take me a lifetime to reconcile with and some more -

‘Ek chup sau sukh’ !! the elders advise through generations. One silence, a hundred joys. If it has to come your way it shall find a path of its own. If not no matter how hard one may try, it shall never make an appearance. I believe valued recognition can never be led astray through manipulation and craft. Momentarily yes, the odds shall favor against you, but eventual victory shall always be yours. It is a test of patience, of forbearance, of reserves of fortitude and strength of character. When ever then was life ever going to be without these elements.

These are not just philosophical musings. They are practiced law, as it were, ready to be judged by the severest benches of judiciary.

I example myself in all matters before putting it out for public consumption. And only when I find them to be of practical use, do I share them. I am no standard of example and certainly not the best, but do find myself in positions at times where this propensity can be applied. Through the years of living and life there is but one common belief for me. Do it and leave it ! If it has to grow it shall, on its own strength of root. If not, torrents of rain water and nurturing shall not bring effect.

Better to believe that you have been wronged and keep it within. Better. When declared outside, it shall invite severe and cynical criticism and remorse. Be prepared for that, or do not allow yourself to enter that realm. Harboring hate and revenge destroys our own body and may never get a chance to destroy the other. What then ? Living with the thought of constant vigil on where and what and how the other behaved, is using up a great deal of your brain and mind consciousness, preventing it from other more deserving thought.

And then … what good does it eventually make … you are wronged, you fester the wound and at the first opportunity resolve it by utilizing the same method of technology that was used against you, in defense. But does it actually resolve ? I would guarantee not.

We are here to accomplish our tasks as have been stipulated to us, by our own deserving and accumen. Stick to it. What good if you shall lead a tributary away from the main to square matters. You would need to look after the main river and now, the tributary. Does that not increase the volume of your horizon ..? Does it not add, rather than subtract. Does it not build slush and mud on an otherwise clear and efficient pathway. Would we rather have this than that ??

I leave it to your discretion …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 9, 2011
Day 1176

Jalsa , Mumbai                July 8/9 ,  2011               Fri/Sat  12 : 08 AM

Back home to more rain and strong winds and water logging and flooding of streets – routine monsoon fare in the city …

A friend sent a message on my arrival – ” Welcome home to a city once called Mumbai” ! I asked why what is it called now .. he replied “Powai Lake” !!! Ha ha … but actually on driving through it was not so bad. A few traffic snarls, cars wading through water, a few on the spot helpers earning their daily wage by pushing vehicles out of the water and several gentlemen in flood inspector pants !!

The rains have been most welcome ! For the crop, for the power generation and for the drinking waters .. but delightful climate ! Hot drinks, spicy snacks and just lazing around. Not that I did much of it, but there …

One starts and puts in motion, another takes over and then another. First BHTB and then Aarakshan and KBC … its an endless motion, but how wonderful that I could be excited enough to do it and look forward to it. As the euphoria for BHTB continues – I still get messages from well wishers, who have not sent me anything for long, saying they are at a house full show in Pune in Delhi and other places .. there starts another film campaign for ‘Aarakshan’, a film entirely opposite to what the previous was. This is sober and idealistic and brittle and powerful in content and execution. And along with it is the preparation for the KBC 5, if it can be called that. The basics are discussed today in a long meeting and a few changes are being introduced, which I am certain shall be made public soon enough ..

But all in all the nature of our ‘busy ness’ multiplies and that really is what one looks out for. Work … continuous work is the stimulant for longevity I would imagine .. I do not consider longevity to be simultaneous with my kind of work, its the work itself that is essential to keep me going. The anticipation of the morrow, the feasibility of the job, the attempt to do better than what had been done earlier, all go in to make for an exciting ‘look forward’ .. at least for me ! I have a scene tomorrow and I am eager to finish off this blog so I can go and rehearse its content and see if I could manage. There shall be apprehension and nerves and uncertainty.. but once the camera rolls, I wonder where it all goes. What is that moment of truth, when just before the director shouts ‘action’ and later when it is ‘cut’. Both commands instigate within us a sense of duty and allegiance to our respective jobs, in the circumstances that have been prepared for us. The switch on from normal to camera mode is by itself a huge change in adrenalin and attitude and vice versa. We must be abnormal to take these swift changes in our normal stride, to put on and put off within nano seconds, look and sound convincing and still hope expectantly that what was done was what was required. Canned and stored in posterity, it shall be there in immortal form, forever …

That is a frightening thought. But perhaps in a sense lucky. Lucky to be archived, and happy to be not around when they shall be subjected to some research or discussion. There are obvious risks in wanting the job to be concluded while we are around, so a sense of individuality perfection rules ; though I am not particularly fond of such situation, and the other of course is the relief of not being around, mortally, to be assessed by a bunch of the younger generation and pointed towards the mistakes we made. …

All very fascinating this … but getting down to it is a task. Many ask me why I never documented my movements, my life, in whatever I did through those early years, and I really have no answer but to submit most humbly, that it seemed to me to be a most immodest act. Immodesty though in today’s times has long been thrown out of the window. Its just not ‘cool’ to be so ! And so then, one gets down to doing and saying what one believes in and what they feel will succeed. And most of the times they do, so it would be fruitless to try and bring some order in an already successful model. My posterity I believe shall be judged by my films. For me that is enough evidence that I was around. But for many others it is not. The media wants greater detail and information or else …

So in the end … do we really want to live for the media, or do we want to live with ourselves ! They both can bring excellent results, the only difference being that one could and would exploit it to the rest of the world, the other would not … perhaps !!! It could mean a most lucrative decision for both and so it needs to be thought well and with sincerity …

Alright … off to bed again !!!

My love to all and more …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 9, 2011
Day 1175

Ahmedabad/Amdavaad, Gujarat            July 7, 2011               Thu  8 : 14 PM

Okaaayyyy ! so the mathematics went horribly wrong – 33% brain usage during the lifetime of human, balance remaining 67 and NOT 77 … 77% .. got it ! thank you for the correction .. what ever would I do without my FmXt ..!!

Mathematics … a bone of contention for most, but for those that fret and fear, a little jest from Prakash Jha. The shoot of ‘Aarakshan’ had several of us conducting classes in Maths. Huge equations and vocabulary for those complicated expressions had to be got right – the Prakash Jha is a stickler on those ! So whenever we got it wrong he would narrate his own days with his teachers in Bihar.

“ Maatha mein teeki hoga tabhi na mathematics seekhoge !! his professor would tell all his students !! Ha ha ha  ! So wonderful the explanation and the division of the word !! Adorable !

Its an early post today. I wait in my room after coming back from a visit to a theater and Mall, the Himalaya Mall, here in Ahmedabad. And …. my word … what a reception !! A sea of well wishers and a continuous roar from them that could be heard at Jalsa. I just stood there on a parapet above on the second floor and looked down upon this mass of humanity, my heart pumping, my emotions running deep within and my hair standing on end with goose bumps !! The good ol’ days were back it seemed .. so intense and exuberant the call from the fans … thank you Ahmedabad, thank you Gujarat and thank you the Almighty – for even He seemed to have joined in. As I stepped out of the facility, the clouds opened up and massive showers broke in. It had not rained here for the last three months and this time of the year with all the heat, it was essential for it to come ; helps agriculture too. And there it was dark low threatening clouds, strong winds and pelting rain !! A relief for all. Its apparently raining in other parts of Gujarat too. Happy for all, happy for Gujarat, happy happy happy ….!!! The rains came along with me !!

As I travel from city to city into different parts of the country, from one region to another I notice how with each changing state a remarkable attitude change takes place among its residents. And that to me represents the state of the nation. During one of my visits to erstwhile Soviet Union I noticed how very early in their kindergarden days, the boys were taught to crick their necks upward to depict a stance as they marched past. It remains with them till their dying days. A stance that depicted that we are the best, that our next will be made and delivered.

More later .. cannot keep my eyes open … love to you all

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Amitabh Bchchan

Jul 7, 2011
Day 1174

Jalsa , Mumbai                                   July  6/7,  2011                                      Wed/Thu  1 : 03 AM

What did I do today … I cannot say … what did I do 50 years from now ..  clear as crystal .. So why does this happen .. I just seem to have no idea. An advertisement on Tv on some consumer product for kids, spoke up through the mother of child – ‘ the childs brain grows 90% upto the age of 5 ‘ .. I guess that answers my query .. If it has developed to its maximum by the year 5, then what the hell are we doing now … trying to increase its size. Someone else said the human uses only 33% of its brain in an entire lifetime .. so what happens to the balance 77% ?

I work to get to the 34% mark ! I joke sometimes with the media when they keep insisting on telling them the reason behind all the work I do. Its almost as though they do not want me to continue. Well .. so long as I breathe I shall work, or let us put it simply. So long as my body can tolerate me and my work, I am fine. The day it resigns itself so will I. I hope that my body is not in the same conference room, when this issue shall be discussed. I would rather it was left free. Many wonder where I ger the energy from … as if I knew … ha ha ! So putting on the best performance of your life, in front of the media, you straight- facedly answer after the product that you endorse, and that which is unknown to most … NUTRICHARGE !!

If I really knew where I was getting my energy from, would I not disclose it. And whilst I cannot take names of products, you may understand how all this works … I mean there is not anything seriously wrong, just a little banter to lighten up the atmosphere.

I had been to a film festival once before. It was held at the Vigyan Bhavan in Delhi and since then there has been this attraction of getting to see the better cinema. What really happened is between them and they all know their jobs. My interference would attract unnecessarily the wrong attitude, and strike me dead .. This Industry is complete and fulfilled. The old time director producer has long gone away and given way to those that came after to sit and think and visually commit themselves. Their thinking will rest with the thinking of today’s youth and raise issues, which thankfully I may not have. Better to not have it and regret, than to possess one such aerated water example that shall not bring in the required clientele. It could be, but surely there has been no contact. Finding a human in this city is well a most interesting serial, which should be explored for further use. Hence the days and times spent with the room empty. And what if the walls began to talk or the bed properties move about in conversation.

At a wedding recently of family friends, I could not help but notice the opulence and sobriety was able to match any of the wonders or sights in the world ..

I need a charge … perhaps a pillow or a set up to see me through .. prayers for your well being …

And so ~

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 7, 2011
Day 1173

Jalsa , Mumbai                               July 5, 2011                                  Tue  11:32 PM

The most important seat in the world for me these days … the one by the window of an aircraft .. watching the land go by, the skies disturbed by the advent of the monsoon, the courteous air hostesses and stewards requesting indulgence – towels cold or warm .. something to drink, a juice maybe, breakfast .. something sir ! No nothing .. need to catch up on my sleep. Is it just me or … whenever I start to read a paper on flight, I tend to doze off. The words on the page suddenly begin to out focus, the head starts to droop, hands holding the news print loosen up and the first nod occurs … then back up again and to begin the routine all over … happen to anyone of you ??

After the hectic schedules of the past so many days, the routine is about to start all over again. Interviews and bites and description of the scene in film … just so much curiosity ! But that we must give in to .. or else what is the purpose of even mentioning it .. the blog in all its glory shall remain a silent figure on pedestal, but shall not be removed as was the fear from some quarters .. Mother’s are always so conscious of their children. Our Mother Blog shall also be looked upon passionately, and the assurance given has been that, all else may undergo change, but the blog shall remain steadfast and kind.

Oh dear .. i feel the effect of the plane as I continue to put down everything .. the head is now seriously drooping, the hands involuntarily stop and start … they just did .. ha ha ..

I need to rest .. there has been sleep for just a few hours for the past days .. but I shall be back with more soon ..

Good night and apologies for this short response    I shall improve on this soon …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 5, 2011
Day 1172

Jaipur , Rajasthan                 July 4/5,  2011                      Mon/Tue  12: 13 AM

In prayer and in peace … in divinity and the unknown force … in the completion of a promise made 40 years ago .. in Ajmer Shariff to untie the ‘dhaga’ .. the scared thread that one ties at the shrine. I had visited the ‘dargah’ soon after my entry in 1969 made a wish and tied a thread. The belief is that when the wish is fulfilled, you return to the shrine and untie a thread, any thread. It is not possible for you to remember which one you had tied, for there are millions of them. So the custom is that you tie one and open any other as a gesture of completion. I had been wanting to visit the holy place for sometime, but day before suddenly things worked out and here I am.

The Ajmer Shariff has a great history going back almost to the years in the 11th or 12th century. Of a Sufi saint that came here and spread the word of peace and well being. Of the great Moghul King Akbar, having walked barefoot for the blessings for his son and many more such interesting stories. The power of divinity has no end and no explanation, we simply follow and we simply believe. When the call comes we follow and get drawn. It took me 40 years to come back here again. But I am relieved today that I came and was able to fulfill what I had vouched for.

The media and the electronic went along with me. We talked with Star and their valued anchor Deepak Chaurasia. The two and half hour drive along lovely clean and smooth four lane highway, a dream almost, went by without much notice. The entrance is narrow and congested ; most places of worship in India are, and the crowds passionate warm and full of excitement. The home security along with the local police had a tough time controlling the moment, but all went well. The prayer was made, the thread was untied, a fresh one put in again for another future visit and the electronic ran several news programs on it for the rest of the day ! Sometimes the sanctity and peace that one searches at moments like these gets destroyed by the intrusions. But that is and shall always be the case.

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Holding the ‘chadar’ that shall be spread on the shrine as an offering …

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That is me in the pink scarf around the head … tied by the respected inside the shrine and those that conduct the ceremonies inside ..

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Many wanted to know what the ‘mannat’ was that I had initiated .. I felt that was a bit ambitious of them ! And when they did not get a response they made their own.

‘Its for the grandson that he had asked for !’

That is a big laugh ! 40 years ago I was not even married. Ha ha ! So what ..? I would come here to ask for a grandson even when the thought of finding my partner to produce a son had not entered my mind ??

Some people are so devoid of common sense ! So when that attempt failed they conjectured several other and more … without any meaning of course ..

This entire region is so full of history and design and culture. This region faced all the intrusions and attacks from foreign powers that crossed over to capture and rule, during the early centuries. Steeped as it is with deep traditions, geographically it provided that natural terrain to deter the enemy. All the palaces and forts and monuments that housed those that ruled here before the invasions, still reflect the thought that went into building what they did build and why. It would make a most interesting study.

I return tomorrow back to base and on to the next – ‘Aarakshan’. Preparation for its promotions and publicity is kicking off tomorrow and soon you shall all be getting information on how that goes ..

Some of the messages that keep coming in ask many queries, some put up valid reasoning and argument .. what is the exact purpose of your visit to the shrine and so on ..

During the drive to the sacred location, my tv anchor does agree that sensationalism is defeating the purpose of dignified reportage. The medium of Tv is so strong and impressionable that the necessary care that is required, gets overlooked many a time. Competition prompts one to perform in manner known, so that the other does not get away with an exclusive, resulting in hasty presentations, breaking news and definitive analysis, when in fact the subject may have required more time to find fact and to research. But with over 400 hundred channels in operation and another 1000 applications pending with the authorities, one wonders if there shall ever be any care or time for studied authentication of fact. If the channels are in such numbers the basic truth of operation is who can get what out faster than the other. Or be in a situation where they could say ‘you heard it first on our channel’ ..

Interesting times are ahead ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 5, 2011
Day 1171

Jalsa , Mumbai                              July 3, 2011                           Sun 11:21 PM

The morning hour of today … 5 am ! A drive for prayer, to Haji Ali, to Siddhivinayak, to Babulnath .. Mumbai looking stupendous .. low dark rain clouds, slight mild rain, a turbulent muddy sea at Worli and Marine Drive, a strong wind that blows across the trees by the shore .. and divinity  !!

Could have never asked for a better start. A day filled with all the EF sending in the reports from various parts of the world for the film, the excitement of reactions from friends and not so friends .. hectic activity among the EF through Fatima and Barun and Ami and Anu and oh 1 so many many more all over doing their best to push and reveal facts .. such a commitment from all .. I have no words to show my gratitude.

And then the radio interviews organized by Anuraag Pandey and Divya … good fun and finally the Sunday crowd … unbelievable. The largest and the most excited I have seen in the last many years .. media with their OB vans outside today covering this event and then congratulating me for the success of the Film. All so heady and humbling … what does one say .. I really have no words of value to express myself … all that I can say is this .. the entire EF is responsible for the success of BHTB .. !!!

I plan to go to Ajmer Sharif tomorrow .. a most respected and important place of prayer .. it carries the belief that if you tie a thread at the mazaar as a ‘mannat’, it comes true. Almost 40 years ago when I was just about to start my work as an actor in this Industry, I had come to Ajmer and the Holy Place and had tied a thread on the filigree work that surrounds the main area .. for long I had wanted to revisit it and untie it, as a fulfillment of that mannat. Tomorrow if all goes well I shall be able to complete it. You untie any thread, for it is difficult to find the one that one ties almost 40 years back, and that is taken as a completion of your wish. If you wish another wish you tie another thread !

Allah ke dar pe der hai andher nahin ..

It shall be a most nostalgic visit. I was an unknown visitor then. I wait to see how it shapes up now tomorrow … more things in life  fraught with undesirability are overcome with prayer than any other .. prayer, that is a dedication and belief in one such superior power that shall when called out to, hopefully deliver … I need that deliverance .. and the prayer .. HIS might and presence has played such an important part of my life, indeed in the lives of many !! May HE give us greater strength and forbearance to face the hurdles that we must overcome, to acknowledge the goodness HE provides and to rest in the comfort of the direction HE recommends …

Love to all ..

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 3, 2011
Day 1170

Jalsa , Mumbai                 July  2/3,  2011                      Sat/Sun  12:19 AM


Your words of excited compliment, your enthusiasm of viewing excellence, your delirious praise and your love, are what make me live another day with respect dignity and will. This is most cherished and documented in a space, which physiologically belongs to the leftist region anatomically .. there shall it remain, irrespective of circumstances and condition.

Many write back in appreciation of my post of yesterday. Many find it most perceptive and honest. Many though question its very presence and why its need. Satyam as always most eloquent and researched makes very valid argument, as does the site www.ibosnetwork.com, which I copy now for your benefit ~

Box Office: Buddah Amitabh beating up on Delhi Belly
Saturday, July 02, 2011 

The handful of trademedia of India, as it is often prone to, is giving a false trade picture on Delhi Belly and the Amitabh Bachchan starrer Buddah Hoga Tera Baap (including on costs of the two films). As at the box office, bookings for the Rs. 10 crore Amitabh Bachchan’s solo starrer Buddah Hoga Tera Baap are not only higher than being reported in India, but are now moving ahead of the Rs. 35 crore Delhi Belly in Delhi Belly’s hometurf, the multiplexes, while showing bigger jumps in single screens whereas Delhi Belly has opened weak with little hope of a pickup there.

This is relevant in light of claims of Delhi Belly (mostly in english) having had a bumper start in India, which is simply not the case, not even across the board of metros and multiplexes this time.

DB is good in select multiplexes and overseas pockets only. At 25-30% it has had a weak start in metros like Calcutta (10% in some cases), Jaipur, Pune, Surat and emerging Hindi metros like Kanpur and even Bombay is nowhere near as expected with Saturday collections clocking barely 25-30% bookings at multiplexes like Fame Adlabs still. Tickets are readily available most everywhere.

Buddah did not have a great opening on Friday morning either, as had been pointed to by IBOS reports earlier. The difference is Buddah’s picking up faster. And on Saturday itself Buddah will bypass Delhi Belly in a lot of the stations. Amitabh Bachchan films for example rarely do great business in Chennai but Buddah is going toe to toe there with the Aamir Khan production now (DB opened well in Chennai). Hema Malini also may have something to do with Buddah’s boost there as opening in Chennai was good for BHTB on Friday itself.

The reports on Delhi Belly are mixed depending on segment of audience being identified. Some like its toilet humor while others would rather dump and flush it down down the commode itself. The overall reports of BHTB are of the paying public overall approving Amitabh Bachchan’s return to the active role after a long time, overlooking the film’s other shortfalls. It may not have opened as Natwarlal or Kaalia as box office benchmark, but it’s certainly helping it go toe to toe in unexpected places and more impressively power over the likes of the bigger budgeted Delhi Belly as the weekend proceeds.

Transformers had the best start of the weekend on Friday in multiplexes but the film is not generating a great post-release report in India.

Now .. those that research and delve deep into detail and make effort to scientifically reach conclusions, must have their own mechanisms and one does not wish to argue or debate with them. Satyam states certain factors which in a sense endorses what the above site states. I will honor them and I shall also honor those that disagree. Because in a very warped manner, this is what my post of yesterday attempts to put forward. With the absolute and complete absence of a fool proof accountability, where does one draw the line in correctness. Where does one draw the line of projections. Where indeed does one give authenticity to figures and standings, blatantly headlined in manuals that shall go down in history as fact. No where. Hence why should I be prevented from believing one and not the other. Does the effect of viewing a film in the confines of a cinema hall filled with exuberance cheering and wild hysteria, get diminished when you get home and come across a press assessment of what you have just experienced. I would imagine not. You shared your moment with others, spent those electric thrills, for whatever they were worth and returned back to base. What economic outlook that experience stipulated would ideally be of little interest to anyone !

Komal~CA … makes an interesting point. He observes a temperament that indicates to him perhaps my condition being downcast. And then in his next paragraph comments :

“i understand that our inherent and insatiable longing for external validation is important ; efforts to fill this core desire shape our actions and course of events in our lives ..”

Yes I would tend to agree with what is stated, in a more general sense. But for one that has faced a blacking out of most of my careers high points, or to put it more succinctly, never received acknowledged validation, or ever showed any concern for it, to be sitting here after 190 films and 42 years in the profession and still generating debate on validity, is in itself proof enough on the irreverence shown towards what value means to me. Does it not identify or confirm to all conversely, the relevance of value attributed to me, without as much as a personal whisper. Which then I ask is of greater relevance ? Let me tell you in my most honest bearing. My relevance comes from people such as yourself. You have defeated the validity aficionados time and again, and .. with definite and collective authority. That for me is my value, not some piece of paper documented in printed ink. Let those that archival such documentation study and educate themselves and others they wish to. They shall never be able to argue or challenge what the mass, the admirer, the well wisher, the fan, the extended family opinionated. You have been and shall be the ultimate truth. And it is such a tragedy .. no tragedy would be the wrong word, it would favor the other I am afraid … it is such a irony, an irony that these self appointed soothsayers and naysayers of the community fail to observe, that with each passing episode, it has been the people that have refuted and rejected adverse claim, to ‘stand behind the line where I do stand’.

My will is not to succeed. My will prompts me to be in continuity. To walk where others trudge, to breathe where others suffocate, to swim in and out of tide, to speak perhaps in overbearing whisper, to not be ahead in lead, but to be a part of the pack that hunts. They repeatedly taunt my modesty, for, it worries them how my vocabulary does not entertain immodesty. They chuckle and snigger at this ‘act’ of mine as my greatest performance, for, they are not qualified enough to judge what an actual creative performance comprises of. They hide behind contrived self aggrandized confabulations, to cover and protect their own deficiencies, for they know in the dark of the night, behind closed doors, when they shall unmask themselves, they shall be saved from the horror of their own real shadow !!!

Good night dearest ones .. it is time for me to shut my door, to switch off the lights, to bring on the darkness about me and to rest in the comfort of my own reality.

I shall sleep well. Will they ?

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 3, 2011
Day 1169

Jalsa , Mumbai              July 1/2 , 2011                    Fri/Sat  12:09  AM

There is need to acknowledge the tremendous amount of voluntary work done by the fan clubs, the EF, the TwFmXt and all other admirers and well wishers for the phenomenal work done by them all for the promotion and awareness of BHTB ! There is a very insignificant but most meaningful expression created for it in the English language – Thank you ! It is inadequate, I know, but one that has no other alternative. And so my sincere thanks to each and every individual that went out beyond the call of duty to express solidarity with the cause … the movie ..

There has been an endless barrage of compliments and good wishes coming along. From friends, from the Industry, from senior journalists and even from Shobha De ..!! I told her coming from you means that the film will succeed .. Ha ha ! She responded back by saying she and her husband were celebrating that with a drink ..

But last night in Hyderabad it was madness ! Police escort vehicles, sirens blaring .. mounted police to control the crowds … and the enthusiasm of the public for the film .. It had been some time since I had sat inside a theatre to see one of my own films and I must say the experience was altogether different. To be one with the audience, to feel their palpitations, their screams and yelps and comments, the cheering at every incident of value in the film, the applause … just another world …

And then the presence of the great Chiranjeevi, the revered and superstared member of our fraternity in Telugu cinema .. his speeches on stage, his humbleness and his dynamic presence, in his part of the world were all an incredible dream moment.

All in all a most delightful meet and a moment to be cherished forever ..

I am back this morning as you may see to the land of Mumbai and have been doing more tv channel interviews … there is great acknowledgement and joy expressed every other minute and for this I am truly honored and blessed ..

The audience reactions to me have been the ultimate judge of merit of film .. there are several pundits, both self styled and appointed to give the gory details of why particular films run or not, or what their prospects shall be in the future. By the fact that they are the yard sticks, or considered yardsticks that mould opinion in the market, they are a revered lot. Posterity shall bear witness to what they shall conclude and confirm. For an Industry that still has not been able to account for its accountability, it is quite strange to know that there are a few ‘good men’, who can actually claim to have overcome this impediment. In an almost 100 year Industry filled with so many makers artists producers, to have a couple of gentlemen that decide fate and success factors of the national cinema, does sound a bit incongruous. But there it is. Its those few and scattered designers of Italy France and USA perhaps that dictate what the fashion shall be in the coming season. They stipulate the color of the season to be black or red or grey and an entire universe follows them.

For me though the people and the masses are the true trade guiders. They make or break us. They go and spend the kind of money that gives them access to our work and therefore, they get all my acceptance marks when judgement is to be confirmed. Its what the Tv industry faces as far as their Trp ratings are concerned. The meter gauges in the shape of electronic boxes are used to give indication of which programme does what visibility in order that the ad., revenue be assessed and generated. In a population of 1.2 billion, it is shocking to learn that around 1200 boxes ( not entirely sure of the right figure, but a close approximation would be correct ) are placed throughout the country to gauge who watches what tv programme etc – viewership preference !

So what is surprising for me is that two individuals or three or even thirty have the power and capability of being able to assess the choice, likeness and dislikeness of a billion people ??!! A recognized Tv channel that runs a programme through a recognized anchor, shall review a film and give it 1.5 stars. That is bad, really bad. It spells doom for the film at the box office. But the film goes on to become the biggest successes of all time ! So where the review, where the anchor and where the genuine state !!

They tell me that perception in these exercises builds a temperament for any film and that, what emantes from reviews, needs to be paid attention to. Give an individual the semblance of being the ultimate voice and it is generally seen that they seem to choke on their own words at times. I may be entirely wrong and unguided in this matter, but does not the integrity of the reviewer come under a scanner, when it is determined that the particular review could form the commercial result of any venture. Power corrupts they say and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Would there then be elements of corruption here. Can perception and thereafter fate of the product, be subject to practices that would not entirely be above board. Would not those that depend on the verdict of these merry few, be tempted to seek approval from them at any cost. Or am I thinking that in this very closed and puritanical league there are those that do not at any cost encourage misinformation or corruption ??!! I hope that I am wrong, for in a creative world nothing even remotely smelling of such bad odor, would ever be accepted or encouraged …

In France, and I think I may have touched upon this subject before, they do not judge the success of a film by their collection in dollars or francs or rupees – they judge them by the number of footfalls there were for a particular venture .. I found that to be a more realistic practice … appreciation reflected through the number of people that visited, rather than an amount of money that it generated. Someone could buy up an entire theatre and sit alone and see a film … the money generated would go down as a collection for the bottom line .. but surely one individual against a full house capacity of 600 humans would necessarily change the equation as far as viewership value is concerned.

And moreover how do these pundits ever come to know the financials of a particular project. The accountability of every venture is under question and there is no detail fit enough to be accurate there, yet the ventures internal financials are confirmed and authenticated ?? Strange !!

I am not prepared to believe that human weakness in assessments of such order are and must be not prevalent. And which then brings me to the fact that film making gets a lot more complicated than just rolling a script through a whirring camera. The management, marketing, perception and publicizing has now begun to take over the process of creativity. It could be a welcome practice, or an ailing process. And so to the ultimate argument. Would it not be wise then to succumb to the immoral ness of the moment, rather than suffer the ignominy of perceived failure .. ??

I listen and hear and get my ears filled with talk of such substance often enough. I wish it away as inconsequential gibberish … but somewhere somehow it has begun to have meaning and value … and that for me is a very sad day. Do all creative successes carry with them the unhealthy burden of unwanted manipulation ???!! And if so how far do they assure us that they shall be successful.

Sholay has been recognized and rightly so, as one of the biggest  films ever in the history of Indian Cinema. But few shall know that on the same day another film was released called ‘Jai Santoshi Maa’, which in relative costing terms was a much bigger hit. But no one talks of it. No one even mentions it. No one cares. Is it because it has been taken care of … ? I wonder ..

And there shall be endless stories and realities and facts that shall remain unsaid and unspoken. Sometimes deliberately, sometimes with cause …

It would suit some I guess to keep facts away. Others would not accept that. And that I believe is the dichotomy that we all share our lives in …

Think about it …

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 2, 2011

June 2011

31 posts

Day 1168

Novotel, Hyderabad            June 30/July 1 , 2011               Thu/ Fri  3 : 31 AM

Simply overwhelmed by the reception in Hyderabad as i come in by the evening to a special screening of #BHTBaap … Puri Jaggannath territory .. the crowds the reactions just so so special .. i need time to put all this down properly .. will be with you in the morning again .. till then

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

Jul 1, 2011
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