Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 14, 2014 Sun 11 : 19 PM
मैं लिखता हूँ …… इस लिए जवानी मेरी है
Sunday’s like never before each Sunday .. love like never before love .. affection like never before affection … blessings from all like never before ..
I am truly blessed to have you with me .. !!
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 14, 2014 Sun 9:22 PM
Apprehension cultivates either fear or the determination to face the worst and come out victorious … well not always victorious but the need to confront that which is to come and bear or swim along with it ..
I cannot say whether this is a happy trait or not, but I do know that apprehension forms a major part of my feelings and I am certain of many others too ..
There are some, admirably so, that wonder what the word means at all, and I have great admiration for them. I have personal acquaintances, dear friends, people I work with, people I do not work with .. that have an abundance of what may ideally be translated as ’ absence of apprehension and presence of confidence’ .. AOAAPOC .. !!!
I apprehend my todays and my tomorrows and my future tomorrows, with great senses of apprehension … many laugh it off, other’s consider it a welcome blessing - for then the anxiety of what may come, pushes you to limits beyond that which may never have been perceived.
How does one ascertain then what lies in store within. They say an unforeseen circumstance, and God forbid it ever befalls on one, gathers a momentum that surprises us and our minds and bodies too …
Where does it come from then. A stimulation is often referred to as a potion that can excite one to limits which are beyond limit. There are drugs medical that stimulate .. there are drugs chemical used socially … there is the tobacco and the alcohol .. and many other ..
But they are, as I see it, elements or mere products that would quite obviously be useless without the presence of the body. If there is no ‘body’, there can be no stimulation. And if the body needs to be stimulated, it must possess elements that get affected by the stimulation. So … if there are elements in the body that have the capacity to be stimulated .. why must they need the external stimulant .. one could simply talk to them or ask them to get stimulated without the intake of that external product .. !!!
The absence of the use of any stimulant personally is certainly not the cause and reason for this missive. Yes .. I do not smoke or drink or have intakes of tea, coffee, soda drinks, tobacco in a ‘bahaar’ or a ‘paan’ and such like .. BUT … they are abstained not from any health or religious compulsion or decree. I have smoked and I have consumed all that I abstain from now. It is more a self made, call it a freakish, decision. And this text is certainly not aimed at dissuading others from consumption, it is a mere observation .. or perhaps a ‘healthy’ discussion or debate ..
My stimulation I concede, can come from within !! If there is need to be in a state that resembles or requires one to be in the state derived from external consumption, I could do it without the product that stimulates externally ..
Other than levitate - and Complan Campaign not withstanding - I could compare well with those that need impetus, fillip, incentive or quite simply a ‘gingering up’ to spirit myself up .. !!
BUT … and here is the dichotomy, that barriered wall or edifice, which stands rigidly before me - APPREHENSION !!
Many would argue then that an external leverage of a pint or two, would assist me in overcoming this himalayan towering before me. The answer my friend is an answer to myself ..
Once made, is made not to be broken again !!
Human will is the strongest stimulant the universe ever produced ..
WILL IT .. AND IT WILL … !!!
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 13, 2014 Sat 11:24 PM
Its grooving and a shakin’ to the beat of the comely Bro’
Suited black and shaded dark n attitude in the throw ..
Choreographer par excellénce, of many a song in film
Doin’ it for the Ganesh of him, his girth bein’ far from slim ..
A gesture, a feature
He’s been a ‘massive’ teacher
For him and for his work he’s done,
For giving us all the fun ..
Good night dearies .. time to groove in bed !!
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 12/13, 2014 Fri/Sat 12:16 am
Attention concern and its span is eternal, continuous and without bias .. on this platform .. those that believe and consider else, need to shut their minds and reopen them .. they are clouded with impressions that do not suit civil and ethical thinking. They are complexed with vexed tales that have never borne any legs or hands or feet … they are clueless and without any guidance .. their minds may be sharp and literate, fond and elaborate, but if they are not tuned to the sympathetic strings of the compassionate instrument of wires, they are playing the wrong notes .. indeed they are playing no notes at all …
Love and affection and concern is all encompassing, fine, but living up to it is another exercise. If one cannot do it change the gym or the routine of your bodily strains. Insinuating is a weak impression. It shows mirrored in its deficiency each time it is put before us …
Do not show me my mirror … I see mine each moment of my breathing life .. and may I say it breathes well and healthily ..
Site and found could well be distanced by the technology of the moment. I do not scientifically invent nor do I manufacture aesthetics, culture or convention … they are with me … but not at my command in this venture ..
When I shall get visual command then and only then shall I notice .. else nothing .. my own sitting before me have often given … and I have not received .. fight technology, not me ..
I am but a singing minstrel … re capping the words that have been fed by the other .. I sing yes, not in the sense of tone or voice, but by adage … if there shall be discrepancy I shall bring forth the adage … !!
Work shall not deter me … my condition will … my condition is guided and abetted and conducted by what my mind tells it to be .. my mind tells me to hold up the mirror to the one that I face .. do not turn it around to reflect another image … I do know what that other is …
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 11/12, 2014 Thu/Fri 12:27 am
EF Neeraj is to be birthdayed today .. with heaps of love and affection from all of us .. ENJOY !!
The strain and the shocking visuals form Kashmir, again give us a glimpse of the suffering and the pain that our brothers and sisters in the Valley go through. Nothing can be described, nothing can even come close to a description of the devastation. We are in prayer and in hope for some relief that can come to those stuck or surviving somehow. In our own little way we have been making contributions and giving out awareness briefs … but nothing can come as compensation for the historic and mammoth damage that the floods have done to this ‘paradise’ …
But as you depress with the situation, there is a need to continue work that is on a professional commitment, and so you do … with some rapidity and urgency to be able to get back to office for further readings of VVC’s film. The readings are taking some kind of shape in character and performance, on table. What happens though at the level of the actual shoot, will of course be much much different and enjoyable. It is enjoyable even now, but when the camera rolls, there is mind and thought only on your mouth and in your mind .. we never know where it comes from, but so far the Almighty has been kind and adjusting, and compassionate !!
One of the givens in our lives is the desire to replicate perform or manufacture all, the moment we think about it .. if only it could happen …. what a place it would become ..
Purists frown and object to our attention span given to our work .. but I have never seen any such … I always remain with the character and the strain of reading your space of work … !!!
And endless go the pictures of the day … a day that marks the end of all that gets philosophical. It is our nature and in our genes and blood and matter what else, but yes we do get all standed up ..
Life becomes more and more an illusion … a never ending path of whatever has been deserved by me ; so scratch shots are always a necessity, before the final …I think the WCF in Brasil is an excellent example
Fear not that which never exists, or pretends to be free from life. Fear them and those and that … they who can never stop the flow of the story !! Irrespective !!!
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 10/11, 2014 Wed/Thu 1:24 am
Ganesh Lahoti … a very happy birthday to you from all of us … have a good one .. !!
I have but pictures today and only .. the conversations shall occur presently .. its time to rest .. for tomorrow is work … and more work !!
Work on the readings and rehearsals for the next film with Bijoy Nambiar and Vidhu Vinod Chopra .. and then a invite by Deepika and Finding Fanny .. a delightful film !!
A now to bed for tomorrow its work with gusto .. ! Almost getting back to normal .. more tomorrow and more ..
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 9, 2014 Tue 10:35 pm
The body gives an indication that it can be tested .. and so it is .. and it works with some generosity .. not entirely , but some … enough to perhaps last a day more at the tables that lay forth the medications ..
I do not know whether there is need to inform conditions of being, but because it is Ef there really is no need for any distance .. and so out it comes ..
Oops ! dropped my mobile … !
haha .. cat lovers ecstatic … and this head of family shows consideration towards them … just so you realise that the feline is a welcome entrant ..
So … yes .. ah , the conditions of health ! yes they be improving, albeit with some degree of hesitation in their ultimate progress .. but percentage improvement at least ..
What a difference a recovered body makes … suddenly all that seemed beyond reach and condition, is just a breath away and wanting more .. this mass of flesh within which resides the ultimate humanity, is simply quite unique and distinctive .. the more we live with it or the more we are able to spend time with it the greater we learn of its resilience and its worth ..
Our work on the next film with Vidhu Vinod Chopra, has begun with class like readings and discussions, on table .. it is a wonderful exercise to be able to go through an entire script with the entire cast, and yet have some reserve stored up for the final moment when we shall all be facing the camera, instead of a written and bound script, with that ominous looking producer Vinod, looking down upon us with fierce and hard workmanlike expressions .. !!
Suddenly almost magically the clouds of monsoon grey have diminished and I get to see in the night sky .. a Moon !! methinks it makes its presence felt in our vision after almost three months … and its sight is quite quite beautiful ! I also believe that moving out from one environ to another does create that needed relief from the claustrophobic air of your stable and unchanged surrounding .. it is quite possible then that the condition of the virus has decided too, to ‘take a pleasant walk’ as it were .. leave my being, and perish in its own stench !!
Kept awake somehow last night to watch the Final’s of the Men’s US Open, Tennis and to see the giant Croat, Cilic demolish diminutive NishiKori in straight ace driven 133 mph serves and set !!
But credit to NishiKori .. first Asian in the US Open ever … that is some accomplishment .. and to Cilic, what a moment to missile rocket his way to the grand slam victory ..
Sport does have its own dedicated charm and presence. For me it rates much much higher than the news in the news hour minute second !!
The condition in the Valley of the Gods, Kashmir and in particular Srinagar, now deluged by rain and flood not seen in such immense condition since 1928, is heart breaking .. men women children lost and grounded on roof tops and higher climes, is a devastating sight. This heaven , this paradise, reduced to a muddy stretch of swelling waters, is not what we have ever associated Kashmir with … it is most depressing and sad and filled with a sense of helplessness .. may the God’s have mercy on those that suffer, and may they all remain safe and in good condition .. prayers !!
Nature in its fury, is beyond imagination … either to perceive or discern ..
My love to all ..
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 8/9, 2014 Mon/Tue 12:19 am
Shameera .. happy birthday .. love and happiness to the ‘Mard’ .. and many more coffee sips with the Kapil Dev !!
Tatiana : greetings on your Anniversary … from us all .. enjoy !!
जो नहीं था अपने पास ,
दूसरों में देखा तो पाना चाहा ..
जब वो मिल गया जो दूसरों में देखा,
तो किसी और को न मिले, ये चाहा I
~ अमिताभ बच्चन
It never is possible, yet we do desire that what we have, does not be with another ‘have’ ..
And no matter how generous we may feel about our sentiments and its values, no matter how liberal and democratic our thoughts may be, some where hidden inside the portals of our DnA’s is this strong possessiveness of being the one, the only, and no other !
Which I might add is rather stupid !
That dress we wore, that jacket or that clutch .. those sprinkled high heels, that exclusive unattainable model of your automobile … that moment shared with celebrity or state power, the nature of the meet, where in which circumstance and how .. mode of travel to some unknown destination .. unknown not to us to to the others .. mode .. the class on airline or the private jet, hotel of stay and quality of room … the knowledge of unreachable cuisine .. the shops visited and what purchased .. the immediate need to know where or how the ‘other’ got what and how .. the quickest reason to get there to be in possession of not that was bought by the other, but to be in possession of that which the other does not have by a long margin of price .. the need to buy up every model of the purchase, not because you like them all, but because you wish to prevent the ‘other’ from getting it …
Rank, position, value, status, grade, echelon, power …
How much time and energy we waste on this futility .. a futility that will perhaps drive your limited adrenalin a notch or two higher for those mili seconds and then dissolve .. dissolve with great rapidity, because just as you had impressed your point to the ‘other’ ..’another’ across the room just walked in and slammed you to the floor, with their possession …
This endless cycle of acclaim and egotistical ballet, benefits not the dancer on stage, but that choreographer who so meticulously has designed Tchaikovsky’s ‘Swan Lake’, by the Kirov Ballet in such novel a manner, that we shall sway to their elegance and style, in precision .. but never think back on the few that change form season to season, time after given time, year after manufacturing year, to keep that spirit of ‘me better than the other’ alive .. when that is alive they be alive too ..
Modern technology has reached such advancement that it is difficult to not have imagined the future today .. but do we display knowledge of it .. perhaps not … for, it does not make good business .. we know what the next generation of medicine, computer chip, aircraft, couture shall be - TODAY !! Yet releasing it today shall prevent the milking of the progression that the invention went through commercially … release it yes … but gently and gradually .. the product shall last longer … !!
They equate me with the philosophy of the above and seek from me that I hold back and give unto the ‘other’ in pieces, in short but meaningful jerks .. never to give it all .. the mysticism shall evaporate ..
Mysticism .. ??
When you are in term with the mysticism, what mysticism are they talking of holding back !!
Years and time by your servile side, makes for such argument to have legs to stand on .. any other, sounds puerile and un imaginative …
Yes imagination rules .. but only if it is just .. !! Any other will sound and look like a played 78 rpm vinyl disc, worn away by that rusted pin needle that swings above it through each shellac-based groove, until it is worthy of just a slip through instead of a regulated symphony …
" What we did not possess, we wished to possess like what was with the other ..
When we did possess, that which the other did, we did not want any other to possess it ..”
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 7/8, 2014 Mon 1:37 am
I can never explain this but there is a specific joy in meeting up with the Ef.. there is a peculiar feel of oneness, of joy and happiness, like meeting up with a long lost friend or a family member coming home after a long while ..
Met some today at the Sunday well wishers time and felt so wonderfully warm and gentle .. there is so much respect in them .. this I am unable to explain, but it is there !
The enthusiasm was immense at the doors and gates of Jalsa, and as I walked to greet the Sunday visitors, I felt like I was coming back to be with my family again. Thank you all … but a word of caution … especially for the ladies.
Be very careful … there are certain elements in the crowd who have defined a rather flimsy excuse of not being responsible for the gold necklaces being stolen by a gang of so called well wishers. Beware ! not to yourself … yes to yourself of course, but more so those that hover about you ..
And those that steal, remember … I have cameras recording all that happens outside and inside both. The Police have asked me for all that raw footage, shot during Sunday at my house, but I had to tell him that this would have been a had to say moment .
The time of night beckons me for an early rest … so ..
Jalsa, Mumbai Sept 6, 2014 Sat 10:52 PM
Renate … the adventurer … the mystic searcher … turns 60 …!!
Happy birthday for this auspicious year according to our beliefs ! May it bring you eternal joy and happiness and the zest for distant travels ..
How modified the word ‘death’ becomes when it occurs. There is almost a glimmer of reverence in its description. And how majestically its mention gets incorporated in the language of the region or state.
The most apt description for it in true word is of course :
" He is dead !"
Somehow, it never ever sounds ethical to refer to it thus. So a certain politeness was introduced in speech.
'He passed away, or has passed away' .. sounds considerably more eloquent than 'he died, or is dead'! They give the moment a destination too .. 'he has moved or is at a better place', 'he is with the angels', and 'it was HIS calling and went'. There are some references where they tell you in what manner it should be described … 'it was time' ..
The more rougher versions have been no less attractive, eg. in the language of the Mafia .. ‘he sleeps with the fishes !’
BUT in all there is a certain dignity that accompanies the tale.
In Hindi too there is a certain respectability to the event ..
'unka swarg vaas ho gaya' - he has his home in the heavens !
Or at times they use another word ..’dehant’ .. ‘unka dehant ho gaya’ !
'Deh' .. the body, 'ant' .. the end .. 'dehant' , end of the body .
In Mumbai though I have often heard the more common usage among the general public, a word from the English Language .. its peculiar, but apt, short and sufficient ..
Its : ’so and so OFF ho gaya !’ OFF ?? It amused me when I heard it for the first time, but then as I learnt to live with it, I felt it to be succinct and quite apt ! On many an occasion one has been philosophical for the moment and often spoken in terms of ‘the light has gone out of our lives’ , as did Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first Prime Minister as he stood on the gates of Birla House in Delhi that fateful evening, to announce to the world the death of the Mahatma - Mahatma Gandhi !!
To the common then the putting off of the lights in a room, putting it into darkness, was similar to the ‘off’ used at the time of death for an individual. It was synonymous with that switch being put off, on the light board of the room !!
Grieving then becomes another aspect of the ‘passing’. Days months year, the 4th day or the ‘chautha’ or the twelfth, the ‘barahvi’, or the ‘teravien’, all manifested into our beliefs as being auspicious moments when the soul shall travel to its final place in the heavens ..
These are stipulated and perhaps been with us through generations. Certain formalities of prayer and attire and attitude and conduct are carried out. Till the 4th day or the 12th or the 13th no food is cooked in the house of the deceased, it all comes from friends and relatives who feed the family. White is the color of mourning here in this country, black in the Western world. No celebrations for a year after the death in the house by the family .. and many other such ..
Some burn the departed, some bury them, some leave them to the vultures to feed on, as in the Parsi community. Rituals and prayer and other forms of protocol is followed. Many keep in deep anguish and sorrow, many celebrate the going away with music and dance. Some are conscious or superstitious of certain events - travelling on the road in the opposite direction of the ‘arthi’ or the dead being taken in procession, is considered better than to be going in the same direction. The reasons being the obvious !
And the mind … what of the mind. Do we accept the loss immediately, start being practical or lament and grieve till we drop. In a material world, life goes on, yes there is remorse, but there is the concern for the morrow and the attributes it shall bring. Some look at this with disdain and not too pleasantly, others not. Both have legitimate reasons for their behaviour, and both may be right in their own way …
So many images and questions in the mind during such moments, it is difficult to pin even one of them … because … we are dealing with the life lost of a human !!
The attendances then of expression of the loss for the others .. the prayer meetings, the gathering of those that one seldom meets or sees, but they are there for the moment ..
Want to express friendship to your friend .. never forget the wedding invite … but most importantly never ever fail to be present at the funeral .. !!
In this most ‘black’ context may we end for today and look for tomorrow with hope and a reborn enthusiasm !!