DAY 1835
Noor-us-Sabah, Bhopal Apr 24/25, 2013 Wed/Thu 12 :48 AM
Two faces .. two circumstances … one man !
An actor does don many, professionally. But which the real is and which not, shall always remain a mystery, not just for those that observe him from the outside, but for the actor himself.
It is often asked of us, ‘who the real Mr Bachchan is’, and it is often replied with an inconclusive, incomplete and an utterly unconvincing response. Not because there is difficulty in finding an adequate reply, but that there really is none. The question itself is in many respects incongruous. There is a touch of insinuation in the asking, because the person seeking response, has determined beyond all reasonable doubt that there are more than one person behind that name. This is objectionable in a funny sort of way.
Why would I exist with two when I have only one. Or, why would anyone want to assume that there are more than one. I would imagine this dilema comes into reckoning because of the profession I seem to represent. If film provides me the opportunity to play characters that are diverse and different from what is imagined my present self is, then that surely cannot form the basis of the questioning. But it does.
Now … I can go hoarse trying to submit to the questioner, that I am but one ; the one that they encounter now. Or, admit that there are indeed two, and object to why it is expected of me to disclose this for public consumption on who the other is.
In reality though, there may be many of one in each one of us ! The son, the father, the brother, the husband, the grand father …. and each may claim to be the real one ! So what really is the big fuss about …
I may be one as you read now, another on different medium and yet another for each situation that I may have to face. How would it bother anyone ? If it does not bother me, what is it to you …..
We tend to keep much within us, that is unknown to many, despite the efforts made by those of proximity. Would that be something wrong ? No, of course not ! It is quite possible that what I project and want others to believe, could be agonisingly different from what I really am - if at all, there is a ‘really am’. But I am not obliged to tell or disclose this.
Would it really make a difference … ??
Good night
Amitabh Bachchan
DAY 1834
Noor-us-Sabah, Bhopal Apr 23/24, 2013 Tue/Wed 3 :37 AM
The sun sets on another day and over the lake of Bhopal, the rays of hope indicating that they shall return by the morning … for another day …
The night shoot over after a somewhat important sequence with Ajay and Indranil, the star from Bengal Cinema ..
Contemplative before the words of purpose begin … the shadow of the director, Mr Prakash Jha symbolically behind in support and guidance ..
…. and as I return to the Hotel, the little differently abled child, who first withdrew when she saw me, but later extended her podgy hands and kept caressing my face … just such tenderness and joy on her face …
… a gentle peck on her forehead in blessing and love … the Almighty taketh but giveth in abundance …
Speechless .. with the affection shown ..
Love to all .. and do remember the 1st of May, New York, Lincoln Centre, 6 pm red carpet for ‘The Great Gatsby’ .. come one come all .. its by invite to the film but there can always be meetings later .. I shall be there hopefully for a few days … LA premier I am not so sure .. have not been told about it, but the film opens the Cannes Film Festival on May 15th, Nice, France … I shall be attending ..
Amitabh Bachchan
DAY 1833(i)
Noor-us-Sabah, Bhopal Apr 21/22, 2013 Mon/Tue 2 :54 AM
Not entirely convinced with the quality of the post or its bearing, I awaken from the depths of slumber, to present myself again ..
Solitude and silence has the capacity of doing this to an individual, and I am any other individual, common and with common weaknesses …
‘Govinda’ from Emporio Armani Café, California, hypnotic in the ear on ‘b’ phones, with the odd space words of ‘Om namah Shiva’ recited by one that with deep voice cannot conceal the obvious lack of the desired accent, and the weak attempt at a sitar that appears intemittently …
But … the bass and the chords, and all else designed from Western technology, in superb form … no one quite as comparable as them in the production of music …
I often wonder how those born and of nationality of such developed and powerful nations, feel within. The strength of their place of birth, and its surroundings as you grow must have an immense feel of superiority - one that masters all else !
I possess great pride in my birth place, my ‘janm bhumi’ and place of work, my ‘karm bhumi’, yet when it comes to an aspect of our place, culture, personality, music, indeed all the aspects of our life, I discover that explaining us to the Westerner, always finds us giving comparative examples that favor them not us.
There is always that attempt to give relative example of what exists in their sphere, than merely sticking to the reality of our expression !
This is ‘dal’ … er … lentil ! And this is our ‘bharva paratha’, a particular kind of Pizza. This is Dr Manmohan Singh, what you would call equivalent to the POTUS ! And Salman Khan, our combination of Tom Cruise and Matt Damon put together ; and this Hrithik Roshan our John Travolta ….
The British or the Australian commentators on the IPL cricket, never get the correct pronunciation of the names of our cricketers….
Its always ‘Ga vasker’, never the correct ‘Gaavaaskar’ .. its ‘Rain er’ not ‘Raina’ … ‘Say wag’ and never ‘Sahvaag (Sehwag)’ … and when it gets too complicated it is convenient to stick to initials - MSD, for Dhoni, the double D for Delhi Daredevils, RR and on … perhaps convenient to save time taken for the full pronunciation, I guess.
However, they always get the French, German, Dutch, Italian, Spanish pronunciations right without any effort at all … but would have a smirk or smile if we were to call Champagne .. ‘Shum pug nee’… which is how it has been expressed in the letters, to be fair ..
Yet some of the words have great pronunciation value …
Most car drivers or chauffeurs here, to be somewhat sophisticated, think their version of the ‘radiator’, is indeed ‘ra di water’ … not without cause, for it does contain the water does it not, in the engine body portion of the vehicle !!!
And on …
A subject worth spending some quality time over …
That picture of director Prakash Jha cracking up and yours truly looking straight faced, is the result of my explanation on a question he expressed to me ..
He asked if I had been to the gym before coming to the shoot. I said I did not need to, because all my gyming was happening in the wash room of my room, while taking a shower !!
He wondered how ..
I told him that the Hotel bathroom in my room, did not have a regular shower - my preferred contraption for a bath. It had a tub, with a tap for filling it … that is all ! On explaining my predicament to the Manager of the Hotel, he immediately volunteered to rectify this malaise, and assured me that by the time I would return from my shoot he would have one installed !
True to his word, when I got back, there it was - a shower, a quickly thought out fixing, which actually worked from the tap of the tub, through a thin pipe that travelled upwards leading to the cup of the multi holed outlet .. and secured to the roof and the side wall by some kind of tape that held it up in position.
Fantastic Indian ingenuity !! Except … after emerging from the tap of the tub, the pipe, secured by tape to the roof and wall, and ending into the multi holed outlet, was ending up at the level of my stomach when I stood in front of it !!!
The tub is not one of those fancy dug- into- the floor versions, but a jacuzzi kind with multiple holes for water propulsion, all along its sides … and in order for that to function the tub has been made from floor level, so it has a height of its own - about 3’ ! Now in order for occupant of the room or the wash room, to take a shower, which as many would understand is an essential part of morning routine, among other, one has to first climb the 3’ to get into tub … then face this water shower outlet which reaches the stomach level of a certain 6’2” gentleman !
The purpose of a shower as is commonly known, is to get drenched from the top to bottom, in one strong flow of the glorious aqua, but, if the point of emergence - I was very tempted to use another somewhat more explanatory word, but realised that this Blog is a family channel - is roughly around 4’, the gentleman with a 6’+ structure, would have to contort into several ‘convenient’ angles, before not just ‘whetting’ body, but getting into the arduous process of soaping as well … and then … contortions of a completely different nature, to wash the damn thing off !!
And that is not the end of the ‘cardio’ .. the towel rack has been ‘conveniently’ place a ‘mile’ away from tub-jac-4’shower, getting to which involves, stepping out of 3’ tub in precarious wet condition to prevent a slip and injury, and walking to the rub down ….!!
Does one really need a gym after this home grown exercise …
Emporio Armani Cafè California’s ‘Govinda’ still with ‘Om namah Shiva’ in the ears …
Amitabh Bachchan, breathing hard …
DAY 1833
Noor-us-Sabah, Bhopal Apr 22, 2013 Mon 10 :42 PM
The rebellion intensifies … not in the film today, but in other parts of the country. There is anger and frustration over the rape of the girl child of 5 yrs and there are still no answers of how all this can be rectified .. it is sad ..
the well wishers always such a joy to see them still ..
the director asks me if i have been to the gym in the morning … and I give my response which cracks him up .. more of this later, or perhaps not ever ..
The reason for such seriousness is valid and demanding ..
Its a night time work till late tomorrow and hence debate discussion and its relevance should wait till the morrow ..
Good night ..
Amitabh Bachchan
DAY 1832(i)
Meanwhile … the struggle continues for justice against atrocities … in ‘Satyagraha’
DAY 1832
Noor-us-Sabah, Bhopal Apr 21/22, 2013 Sun/Mon 1 :45 AM
Within the complexities of the world that we live in today, one finds that the factor of time and reaction has been inundated with certain elements that prevent us from dwelling on them for too long ..
A personal bereavement leaves one destroyed, emotionally strung and drained of any valuable energy. Yet the time period that allows one to grieve, to feel the loss, to dwell and ponder over time spent with those that have left us, has been weighed down by factors that, in some way or the other, propel us into pushing all that may have transpired, aside, and to resume the living that had existed when the moments were devoid of the tragedy. It almost feels like the Earth has started spinning at a faster pace than before. There is immediate compulsion, to attend, react, take decision on matters, that are in no way connected with the past. The future and the tomorrow beckons us with winds that compel us to go by them.
This is not to take anything away from the tragedy of the loss. That remains forever. It is the invasion of the environment which, spanner in the spokes like, drives us into thinking of the element that shall face us the next day.
In a sense it is a healthy distraction from the tragedy, but one that to me, represents a disrespect for those gone. Many ‘pundits’ come down strongly on this and place religious justice in saying that once the soul has left the body after the recognised ‘chautha’ or the ‘tervien’ or ‘baarvien’, it is ill advised to keep the memory of their presence alive. The soul has sought deliverance, and must be granted that
Whereas I accept that living in the constant shadow of the one we have lost, may not be entirely possible practically, or metaphorically, but to rid the emotion or remembrance of it, does not agree with me. And so I refuse to submit. I will and shall live with them, every day and every moment.
You have a problem with it, make corrections in your own after-body belief. Do not tell me what I must do with my own. You look after yourself to the best. I shall do similar !
So yes I find a turbulence within, in the grotesque actions on a 5 yr old, that has been raped and brutalised, and yes I find the need to express on it in whatever manner I feel I should. On matters such as these, no one is around to gather brownie points. But if you are going to sit at some distance from the reality of it and make comment on a comment, then in my eyes you are an equal suspect to the crime. Do not tell me or publicise your supposedly strong and most un required reaction to a reaction. Get up and lead by example on what you relentlessly criticise in others.
You disapprove the elements of suggestion that one puts across, and does. But you sit miles away yourself and do nothing, but seek attention. Which if I may say, lasts entirely on the time it takes to brush through what you express in writing. That is your worth ! No, not worth … worth gives a value. That would be a sacrilege. Your worthless … yes that is a better description … is just that …. worthless !! End of chapter !!
As I hear and see with pain the developments that envelope society, not just here in my country, but indeed in the world over, I merely wonder what has drastically changed us all as humans .. and I fail to get adequate reaction …
Change can occur in various modifications, but what determines that for me and in my eyes, is the fact that something drastically wrong has transpired, in the bringing up, of these individuals.
Giving them the title and honour of being addressed as individuals…is a far cry too …
When there is gloom and tragedy all around, you tend to hold on to your own and seek protection. Not physical but emotional. And remember then, that …
No one understands you better than yourself. Seeking help to better your own condition from another, shall perhaps bring more grief than the grief you came in with ..
My love as ever …
Amitabh Bachchan
An after thought :
As incidents develop on the most inhuman and horrendous rape and brutalising of the little 5 yr ’Gudiya’ - the little doll, I remember a folk song that my Father wrote, about a little one lost in a ‘mela’ a Fair, and how her Mother sings her pain and desire to search her and her urge to bring her back to her …
Its called ‘Khoyi Gujariya’ .. the Lost Little One … the media has given the little one a name ‘Gudiya’, the doll, a term most endearingly used to call or describe the little daughter in a home .. “gujariya” in UP folk is a synonym for “gudiya” ..
Symbolically, I imagine the Mother of this ‘little one’ that bears this atrocity upon herself, would be going through …
मेले में खोयी गुजरिया , जिसे मिले मुझसे मिलाये ,
I have lost my little one in the Fair, if you find her please bring her back to me
DAY 1831
Noor-us-Sabah, Bhopal Apr 20/21, 2013 Sat/Sun 1 :40 AM
Back to the grind and back to ‘Satyagraha’, and back to finishing film in the next couple of days ..
So … on to private jet, occupied on it and off it ..
The people at the airport diminish. I would imagine they are satiated with the cast flying in and out of the city rather rapidly, in different attires, with nothing to say, or to put it more blandly, nothing worthwhile to say ..
Thank the Lord !!
The team with me visita a Safari park here and comes up with some interesting pictures .. pictures that would make several on the Blog, scream with joy … hence …
The asiatic lion, darker in color and a mane which consists of black hair as opposed to the African which has a burnt golden variety. This species migrated it is said many years and centuries ago from the African mainland, towards India, and are essentially found in Gujarat, in the Gir forests …
There is now some kind of legal proceedings on at the level of the Supreme Court, which seeks permission to migrate some of these species to adjoining State of MP, Madhya Pradesh - Bhopal being its capital !!
And now to the more varied kinds of the larger cats ..
the white Tiger … unique and as the story goes produced through inter mixing first, by the Raja of Rewa, a princely State pre British rule, in Central India .. I may have my information wrong, but these are childhood tales which remained with me ..
… the attractive one and most revered and positioned, and for whose existence we fight for each year through a campaign on NDTv channel ..
They have all been sleep deprived it seems … dreams ???
My love …
Amitabh Bachchan
Iran and Israel — How similar the two are .. You have to see the attached video to believe. I think they rehearsed their speeches.
DAY 1830
Jalsa, Mumbai Apr 19/20, 2013 Fri/Sat 1 :14 AM
The horror of the latest crime of rape and then attempt to kill a 5 year old little girl, leaves me numb and without voice ! These evil beings are not fit to be called animals … even animals have certain codes of conduct !
What is happening to us as a society, a community ? Why and how are we succumbing to these atrocious and ghastly acts … who are these people and where do they come from .. which Mother gave birth to them, and how were they brought up … in which environment.
Jails are not the solution … keeping them bound and confined shall not change them or their thinking … they need to be made examples of … they need to be shamed first publicly and then left to the public to deal them justice in which ever way they seem fit !!
There seems to be complete vacuousness in how the situation needs to be dealt with .. no one seems to have solutions, or worse, preventions … we wait till a deed happens and then get active on how to deal with the situation … we have no mechanism to preempt a situation .. whether it be a rape or a terrorist attack …
Most security checks at public places are limited to a doorway which beeps on metal possession .. hah ! most explosive gagets are made of plastic these days, undetected by these machines … a terrorist attack on the city from the sea and then, and only then does the coastal patrol get more efficient in its weaponry and its boats, that ply about … it is after an incident happens that the aspect of the event starts getting attention …
We all are living in insecure times, where the fear of authority and the call of discipline and awareness is non existant …
We live on love and fresh air … and we hope that what befalls tragically on others, shall not befall us …
May that be true for all of us … but it shall not …
Amitabh Bachchan
DAY 1829
Jalsa, Mumbai Apr 18, 2013 Thu 11 :53 PM
Ninad and Manoj Lahoti a very happy birthday to you … love and happiness always .. and the freshness of fragrance in your beings .. soft and long lasting … !!!
The humbleness of one who you admire and have enjoyed over several years, can create an area of speechlessness, when confronted with or when you find yourself in their company.
The entire morning was one that was busied by the work that one does as a professional - a shoot for a campaign for a product that I endorse. Its something that deals with the global transfer of money to clients in India. It works out of USA and Canada, and insures that the bank deposits that took about 5-6 days to be effective, can now through this Company and its revolutionary innovations, get to you in … hold your breath … 4 hours !!
So there I was in the company of one with whom I have been associated in many campaign shoots - Shoojit Sircar of ‘Vicky Donor’ fame. The work is being conducted at the iconic Mehboob Studios, built by the great Mehboob Saheb, the maker of some of the most remarkable films in the history of Indian Cinema, ‘Mother India’ to name just one. Mehboob … what a story his life became. Never trained or knowledged himself in the art of film making, was not educated enough to speak the English language, was a paltry seller of goods, I am told, and worked at odd jobs in the studios and because of the love of cinema became one of the most prolific makers !! His dynamic confidence knew no bounds. He accomplished that which many other learned did not. In those early years of the 50’s he took his film ‘Aan’ to show it to makers in Hollywood. After the screening one of the big Studio owners shot back at him : ” Mr Khan, your film just goes ‘on’ and ‘on’ and ‘on’ ! ” …. an obvious ‘take’ on the title of the film, and the excessive length of Indian films. He did not understand what the Studio owner had said, and I believe when Dilip Kumar who had accompanied him, told him, he angrily asked the operator to wind up his film and left for India. He was a proud Indian, passionate in expressing his feelings. It is believed that when Jawaharlal Nehru, whom he admired, passed away, the shock was so great that he passed away the very next day !!
Mehboob Studios now stands in his memory, and bears the presence of some of the most gifted talents that India produced through its portals ..
I lose count of the number of films that I have shot there .. and when I drive in today, like any other work oriented day in these past 44 years, I just reflect back. My first meeting with Sunil Dutt Saheb, when I came for a screen test in 1968 through the courtesy of Nargis ji, in the dubbing theatre, where he was dubbing for ‘Padosan’, the countless films that I subsequently shot, with a host of directors. The make up rooms on the first floor, now almost vacant, since all the artists bring in their own vanity vans, and such vivid memories of each corner of the studio used for many of my memorable films. The studio, buzzing with excitement with several shootings, and the stars in all their glory drifting in and out. To be told of the stories of the greats that worked and spent most of their time inside - Dilip Saheb, Nargis ji, Sunil Dutt, Dev Anand … the list just goes on ..
Shoot over, I rushed to the Marriott to launch the website of Navjot Singh Siddhu on his request. He of immense cricket fame, legendary and today an entertainer on Tv with his delightful commentaries … also present another cricket icon Kapil Dev … such a joy to be in their company and to be the recipient of their exceptional humility .. a wonderful short but enjoyable evening !! Had to run out on the street outside Jalsa because of the traffic jam, to be able to reach on time - the Marriott just a stones throw away ..
Some visuals to justify my words above :
Good night dearest Ef’s … sleep well and dream .. pleasant and joyful dreams …
Amitabh Bachchan
